The T on Today's News

2009-01-27T05:19:00.000-08:00

So the mourning period is over, and I'm actually doing a lot better than I thought I would be.. As I look outside and the snow is quietly hitting the ground, and ruining the rather productive day I thought I would be having, I sit and reflect on the what 09 may bring. Marcus was a great guy, and I had a lot of great times with him, but I'm just tired of waiting and can no longer do such. I am officially back on the market, but I'm taking it extremely slow. Don't want to be back in this position in 3 or 4 months. I'm just gonna take my time.....

In other t, who knew that the BGC forums were so damn addictive! I LOOOOVVEEE them... They've really helped me keep my mind off of my situation, and sharpen my whit!

Call Me Now

2009-01-18T08:54:00.000-08:00

So.... I'm going on the road with Ms. Cleo because I am now a psychic. Yesterday, I posted that my relationship was on the rocks and not soon after, Marcus came over and I got the news. He said that he couldn't be with me because "i want kids and a family and everything that goes along with it. and this whole lifestyle is wearing me out." I'm very angry now......

The Honeymoon is Over... Honey

2009-01-17T06:41:00.000-08:00

Ok, So I know I've been coming with a lot of random stuff lately, but hopefully this'll be the last before I can get myself together.

Sooo... me and Marcus have been through some things that I've never even disclosed on the blog. Partly because I really haven't had the time to write it; partly because I haven't had the heart to write it; and partly because I don't know how to describe it. I don't say that in negativity though... it just is what it is. All I can say is that I love that guy though. I love the way his head is a shape that I've never seen before. The way there is no differentiation between his claves and his ankles (cankles). The way his crooked smile looks like a kid's smile. I don't know. There's just so much history jam packed into the 2 and half on and off years we've shared and it's hard to let go. He was like my first everything, and that's just not something I take lightly. But nonetheless, I'm feeling some type of way.

Last week we had conversation. I was kind of depressed because I felt like I don't have any friends. Sure, I have homeboys and homegirls, but it seems like everybody has that go to girl or guy that they can just bear all with, and that is just not the case with me. I'm always left either to journal, blog, or just keep inside what I'm feeling; and that's a lot of times. So, I figured I would talk to him about it. I don't know... he basically said that, I needed to be more comfortable with myself before I can want friends, I should stop worrying about having friends, etc. etc. and I was just kind of pissed off about the whole situation. I kinda felt like he was setting aside my feelings like I was a child or something. But then the convo turned into this whole "I think you need to grow up" conversation. He basically said that to be with him, there was some growing up I had to do because he was so goal oriented and so prepared for his future that he didn't want to be carrying around any foolishness. I was pissed off to say the least. I mean, I'm pretty damn grown. I'm 19, about to be 20. Moved out of my parents' house at 18, working a very stable job, making good money (even have some in savings), I'm pretty stable minded, goal oriented, etc, etc. I would say that maturity is not something I lack in. Apparently, he thinks differently.

So since last week, I've been feeling some type of way. Maybe, it's just me being self conscious, but I've felt like the "I love yous" have been 1/2 assed, the kisses have been a chore, and I feel like we are just going through the motions.

I feel like we're on our last leg.. honestly. And I don't know where that feeling is coming from.. for y'all that have been in a failed relationship before, have you ever felt that dark cloud of breakup looming over your head, and you just know that at any moment, God could open the floodgates and release a Herculean storm on your relationship. That's how I feel, and I do not have my umbrella and my rainboots.

Who knows. Maybe it's just me, but time will definitely tell. I need a jumper cable for my relationship asap or i'll be tying a white flag to the antenna and waiting for AAA to come tow it to the junk yard.........

WTF?!

2009-01-16T14:33:00.000-08:00

Circuit City is closing??? ummm.. can you say "liquidation"??

?

Andy Warhol said this, and...

2009-01-15T18:39:00.000-08:00

I appreciate it....

"What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest. You can be watching TV and see Coca Cola, and you know that the President drinks Coca Cola, Liz Taylor drinks Coca Cola, and just think, you can drink Coca Cola, too. A coke is a coke and no amount of money can get you a better coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking. All the cokes are the same and all the cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it, the bum knows it, and you know it."

Also, who knew you could watch movies online with a netflix subscription?

analog tv new yrs and resolution and Judge karen autosave

2009-01-07T07:41:00.000-08:00

So I'm looking at my blog like "DAMN! I haven't posted since December 14th?!" I'm sorry y'all. Let me first wish you a Merry belated Christmas and a very Happy New Year. I hope everyone's holidays were safe and nice. I personally ATE MY ASS off this holiday, and I have absolutely no regrets about it. So let me give a brief recap of my holiday and then I'll get to some other random madness.

So Christmas morning. There was a lot ofo craziness leading up to this point. Marcus had to do some time because he didn't go to a court date that was supposed to be changed. It was just a whole lot of crazy shit because the police came to his grandmother's house looking for him and all this shit. It wasn't good at all but he got out on Christmas Eve and everything was all good nonetheless. We went to Towson Town Centre and did some shopping. Because of the fact that the city of Baltimore had him in custody he hadn't done ANY shopping.. what a mess. So we did that, and then we went to this hibachi place that was like amazing. Now his birthday is on Christmas, so I was in there causing a scene and telling all the people that it was his birthday and I had all the people singing happy birthday to him. He was pissed lol.

So we get home, and I helped him wrap his gifts, and then we did the things that couples do ::wink:: and it was really nice... REALLY nice. Now I'm a morning person and he is not so I was up all early on Christmas and this nigga didn't wakeup til noon. When he woke up I sang my best version of happy birthday, and then I gave him his gift. It would've been gifts.. but I'll get to that in a moment. I got him this really nice graphite damier canvas Louis Vuitton wallett from Chevy Chase. He LOVED it. He also LOVES the converse brand, and on any given day, if you see him and he's not at work, he'll more than likely have converses on (although I have gotten him hooked on Jordans now) , so I went on the site and custom designed him some converse and I put his name on the back.. But I STILL haven't got those whores yet! He'll get'em when I get 'em. Now he got me a Tiffany & Co cuff that I really wanted and these Jordans... I love them and I love him lol. After that I just went over my parents' house and I ate and ate and ate and played with my siblings and ate some more. It was wonderful.

Now FF to New Years.. Not too much to say about that. I ended up going to church for the watchnight service. It was really great. I always feel like church is a great way to start the year off. Now in regards to my resolutions, I have decided to watch my mouth better and expand my vocabulary. My mouth is terrible and the "F word" just FLYS out of my mouth, so I've GOT to do better... It's just not right. Also, I recently had a convo with Darius about one part of our relationship. Marcus likes to eat, and I like to eat, but I don't cook and he does. But he hates cooking. SOOO my other resolution is to start cooking more. I've decided to cook at least twice a week. Since that decision, it's been going pretty well. I've successfully made scrambled eggs (lol), bacon, baked salmon, fried green beans, cheddar biscuits, and lasagna, and actually they've all been pretty well.

In other T, I'm trying to decide what I'm going to do about this switch to Digital television. I have an old ass 19' television with an antenna that allows me to watch Steve Wilkos and Jerry Springer JUST FINE DAMNIT! I suppose the only choices that I have are 1) buy a new digital tv 2) get cable 3) buy one of those bootleg ass converter boxes.. idk.. help me out yall.

Did I mention, I love these ladies? Judge Penny reminds me of Dorinda Clark Cole

Soooo

2008-12-14T19:21:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday night. I'm in the bed watching Street Kings with Marcus. I do not want to go to fuckin work in the morning. And I shouldn't have to. Come January 1 when my leave starts over again, I will be effin M.I.A.! And that's that!

I Need A Bottle of Gin!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-10T05:02:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys! I'm still here! Just been having some technical difficulties lately, so I havent been able to read or post (damn VZW aircard!). But anyway! Soooo much stuff has gone down since I last posted, but I'll make it bearable/readable.

So go with me in your mind. The Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I'm at Columbia Mall doing some shopping in Nordstrom's (upstairs). I was ready to leave, but of course I was parked downstairs, so I took the escalator to get to the parking lot. Well... 2 children, ages 8 or 9 were playing around me on the said escalator and long story short, stepped on my shoe strings and I fell down the escaltor and sprained my ankle (smh). I went off.... my court date is next month.

Thanksgiving was grand. I just spent it with family as usual.. and ate my ass off. Me and my dad and brother went to see Transporter 3 on Thanksgiving. It was alright, not as violent as the 1st 2. I will say though, Jason Statham is a fine and fly white man (Jesus)! Love him as much as Idris Elba.

I recently applied for a new position at my job. I hope I get it. I could definitely use the money!

Pray for me y'all!

Have you guys ever been in love with someone so much that they can do whatever, and you still love them? I'm in that situation right now. Jesus, please take the wheel.

Yesterday I saw Cadillac Records. It wasn't Dreamgirls, but I LOVED it nonetheless! Did Beyonce' say the F word like 25 times? "I need a bottle of gin. A bottle of gin! I NEED A FUCKIN' BOTTLE OF GIN, SHIT!!!!!!!!" lol... yes I do love that bitch with everything that's within me. This was like her very best movie, ever. I was very impressed. I think I'm going to either get an Etta James cd or the movie's soundtrack, or both, because the lyrics for some of the Etta James songs were so currently applicable and beyond their years. She was a genius. There's a song called "All I Could Do Was Cry." When Beyonce' sang it, I almost cried. Oh nevermind, I just found both renditions on limewire.... Gotta love limewire... Oh yeah, Mos Def and Columbus Short were like SOOO fine in this movie too!!! thankya jesus!

Also, I'm going to try something new in the bedroom. Is this trashy?

And finally, I'm going to be talking to a grant writer today. I'm really trying to get my clothing line off the ground. I feel like if Darius can start his own cooking show, and Joey can execute all of his programs for the HRC, dammit! I can start my clothing line! Look out for it in '09!

Bitch, I'm Broke

2008-11-21T07:03:00.000-08:00

Yes it is true. Now I won't complain, because throughout this "recession", I haven't had to worry about much. I've had gas in my car, I've been able to pay rent, I've been able to eat regularly, etc. But here recently, I've been broke as shit!

This is how I know I've been broke! Last week, I had to call my car financing company and tell them that I got laid off so I could get a deferred payment plan. I've been so broke that if somebody told me that I could make love to Idris Elba (thank you jesus) for $10, I would have to take out a payday loan! I've been so broke, that I've considered working food service (ill)... shit! I've been so broke, I've considered working whore service! I've been so broke, I had to ask my parents for money (yuck)! I've been so broke, I am now a gold member at www.cashnetusa.com which is one of the biggest legal loan sharking institutes in America! (pay day loans are addictive. don't effin juge me!)....

But again, I will not complain, because alas, if penis wasn't free, I probably would be bankrupt because I've been getting an over abundance of that here lately. mmmm I have a lot to be thankful for ;-)

BIIIIITTTTCCCHHH!!!

2008-11-18T16:56:00.000-08:00

So for all those who are wondering (and to those who are not), Marcus and I are fine. Every now and then a little discrepancy or a little tustle is always good because the makeup sex is AMAZING! (believe me when I say hunny!). My ol' roomstore bed almost didn't make it... mmm.. (shakes my head).

But anywho, as we all should know, "I Am...Sasha Fierce" came out today, and the bitch rocks. In celebration, I decorated my desk at work today.. below is the picture of my mini Bey shrine...

May I just say that the bitch is off the damn chain! And yes I am biased. And yes I did purchase 2 copies lol!

Sooo...

2008-11-12T06:51:00.000-08:00

Me and Marcus broke up last night ( and no Joey it wasn't the thing we talked about).. It's a long story that I don't have the heart to go into right now as it just happened yesterday. I am kinda heartbroken right now. I think I'm going to be taking another little blog break. In the meantime, I'm going to be looking for a place to relocate. I'm tired of fuckin Baltimore....

This Stuff....

2008-10-29T08:01:00.001-07:00

...is the shit!

Random Musings

2008-10-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

Ok so I think it was like the last time I wrote, I was all excited about Beyonce, but no sooner had the "ink dried" on my page, I heard Single Ladies and If I Were a Boy! Talk about not doing shit but watching YouTube all day! Anyone that knows me knows that I absolutely ADORE Beyonce and I have been doing nothing but singing these 2 songs all week... aaah I love Beyonce..

Also, as the holiday season approaches, I'm thinking about taking a vacation to Jersey to hang with the Jersey blogger crew... It's going to be hot I think.. I hope Fuzz is going to be cooking.

Ok so you know those items of clothing that you wear that make you feel a lil thug? Well for me it's a fitted hat. I've only had 3 in my whole life but I always lose them, but I just found one so I did a little photo shoot! On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest, 10 being the highest, how trade do I look?

Y'all May Think I'm Crazy, but....

2008-10-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

but I think diddy is one of the sexiest men alive.

2008-10-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

Sooo, my newest addiction is the Monopoly game at McDonald's, and it's getting out of control. I really wasn't ever too interested in the game itself.. that is until I realized you could play online. I've been eating at that bitch almost everyday, but I just can't help but think about that old documentary SuperSize Me... (remember the guy that ate McDonald's everyday 3 meals a day for a full month? lol) See, if he was smart, he would have done this while the Monopoly game was going on so that he could've won the million dollar prize to offset the price of that dumb ass movie!

Now some of you may be wondering where I'm getting all the money to buy all this damn McDonalds, and it's because gas went down to $2.53 in my neighborhood! (GLORY TO GOD!).. I don't think you would even believe the line that was coming out of the gas station when I went to fill up. Now some of you may have attended the Blogger Reunion may have remembered my baby Cobalt. Well that bitch cost 54.00 to fill up 3 weeks ago, and yesterday it cost $41.00. I wanted to dance in the streets!

In other news, I'm really anticipating Beyonce's new album that is set to drop on November 18. have you heard her new singles?? I'm going to really like this.

Work is going really well too, September 27th was my year anniversary and promotion is right around the corner!

My apartment lease is up in February, and it's hard to believe that almost a year ago, I made one of the biggest decisions of my young life to move out of my parents' house. What a fulfilling time it has been. Charting my own path hasn't been the easiest, but it has been awesome nonetheless. Now that my lease is almost up, I'm contemplating whether or not I want to move out of here and go elsewhere, or if I just want to stay here for another year. I have been apartment shopping. I looked at this really beautiful loft apartment downtown on Eutaw and Centre Street called Cheasapeake Commons (Warren, do you know where I'm talking about?) and I'm sold on it already. If I do move, that will probably be the one that I choose. The only thing is, am I really prepared to pay $1000 in rent to the $850 I pay now?? hmmm... we'll see...

I guess the only thing left to discuss is my relational life.. aaah being in love is great. Me and Marcus are sailing smooth and things couldn't be greater. His birthday is coming up soon and I want to throw him a surprise birthday party... anyone have any ideas??

Celebrities.. Gay... Ummm....

2008-10-08T09:20:00.000-07:00

So, I just read an article and a video about some celebrities who were alleged to be gay.. Those celebrities shall remain nameless on this blog. Now, I won't lie and say that the video was not interesting. I actually enjoyed it somewhat, but at the end of it, I just sat back and thought about it. Ok, how realistic is the ideal that these celebrities will come out? Then, if they do come out, how realistic is it to say that us normal people would get to date, have sex, or have a relationship with one of these said celebs. And then who even gives a damn?? Just thinking on paper...

Did Ya Miss Me?

2008-10-01T05:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I know I said the 1st, but I was busy! So get over it lol! I didn't plan on taking a break, but my schedule decided that I was... To say the least, I've been busier than a 1 legged man in a but kicking contest! Juggling 2 jobs, school, and a man has proven to be daunting, but even though the economy has gone to hell in a hand basket, I have sustained life, and even have lived comfortably.

I know I've talked to a few of you on my break.. a whole lot fewer than I would've liked to, but i digress... but yes I've talked to a few of you and I hope all is well with rest of you! Hopefully, the gas prices haven't worn you out too bad!

I know you whores are going to cuss me out because while I was on my break, I kept thinking about this huge re-introduction to my blog, and it was gonna be this whole big thing, and there was going to be a parade with floats, and Beyonce and the Clark Sisters were gonna sing the National Anthem, and I was going to be clad in Michael Kors and Gucci, and my hair would be long flowing down my back, and I would have an assistant named Emily, but alas, I couldn't think to do anything else but be me. Soooo here I am again!

Now I know I said I've been busy, so let me tell you what's been going on in Jared-Ville. I think last time I blogged, I said that I was thinking about going on tour singing backup with Zack Williams, but that was a 3 month tour that would've required me to take off of work or quit all together, plus they would've been paying me the same as I would've been making at work, and then my job is paying for me to go to school, so Zack had to kick rocks.

On top of that, I finished makeup school and now I am licensed! BUSY BUSY BUSY!

And then to top it all off, I've been caught up a tad bit with a man tee hee! Those who are avid readers of my blog may remember Leroy from when I was in high school. Yeah... I'm back with him and I love him : o )

Oh by the way, am I the only one that wants to see this High School Musical 3 movie???

But anyway, this season of my life is full of satisfaction, love, happiness, control, and more, so thank you for taking this ride with me!

I lubb you!

P.S. I have some additions...

First of all this little Feedjit thing be lyin'! Do I really have readers in Africa and Great Britain?

Also Smart Guy used to be my favorite show when I was in elementary school, and then now they're airing it on BET.. yes claude! He may not actually be that smart in real life, but he sure makes up with it in fine!!!!

Is It Just Me,

2008-09-14T18:02:00.001-07:00

...or am I really in love this time? See you in October!

Ok, no for real

2008-09-11T21:16:00.000-07:00

I will be back in action on What's The T on October One... For real

Soooo is it Just Me Or...

2008-09-06T18:36:00.001-07:00

Does my very favorite person in the world look extremely good with short hair??

2008-08-29T06:23:00.000-07:00

Aaaah as summer comes to a close and I think back about the chain of events that led to this point, I'm disappointed in myself.... I didn't do anything I said I was going to do....

Tee Hee.... ummm

2008-08-20T08:25:00.000-07:00

Ok, so after many threats of vicious ass whippings and actually murder (Cocoa), I am back in action on my blog. I do apologize for the long delay but so many things have taken place, and I haven't had the time to actually sit down and write a new post.. well that is, until now. It's hard to believe that it's really only been a month and a half.. It just seems like so much longer and I've missed you guys so much.

But anwyays, let's get started. Since July, I've been busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. Work is still simply work, but I started a special project that has required me to do a lot of travelling around the U.S. I've been to Rochester, L.A., and Tampa since I last posted, aaando I even got a raise (hallelujah! ::shouts like an old woman in church::).

Also, I started school on-line at Art Institutes and I'm studying graphic art..........and my job is paying for it. I am really having a good time. It is really fulfilling. So I'll probably let them whores pay my tuition until I get my degree and then chuck the dueces on them whores. Aaaah paid education. It's a wonderful thing...

Speaking of work, I am going to take a leave of absence really soon, because I may be going on tour with Zack Williams and Byron Cage soon... It's a fall tour that I'm really not supposed to say much about. So I'm not going to lol.

In other news, my mother boought me a Louis Vuitton KeepAll 45 duffel bag when we went to Chevy Chase 3 days ago, so that when I travel for work, I can travel in style... ::shouts again like an old woman in church::

Also, those avid readers of my blog know and remember Marcus well ,and we're actually going to be roommates. Yeah I know it seems crazy and unexpected, but we've actually become really good friends over these last few months, and it's a really good way for both of us to cut costs. We've been looking at some really nice places in Downtown Baltimore around the area where the reunion was. Really nice that place is.

For those of you who wish to get in contact with me, neither my email address nor my Myspace page have changed so hit me up so I can provide you my phone number....

Hey where is my cocoa and my warren boo?

Kick My "Ask"

2008-06-25T13:52:00.001-07:00

So I don't have much to say, but as I usually do on my days off, I was parousing YouTube today and found this funny ass video.. please watch and laugh. I love kids.

I Love Being Gay

2008-06-19T06:44:00.000-07:00

So I know my posts are on this weird ass schedule, but I just keep having these ideas and those of you who blog frequently, know that when you have an idea, you better write it and at least draft it because you'll forget.

Anywho, I just love being gay. I really do. I was on BGC last night looking at some of the Forum Posts, and i just smiled and said to myself "These are my people!". Here is a list that I comprised/am in the process of comprising about why I love being gay.

I love the way gays have this like inate sense of humor and wit. It's just amazing to me.
I love the way we as gays are so creative when it comes to artistic stuff; art, singing, etc
I love the way we (those who are out anyway) can just strut down the street and just pump and not care
I love the fact there is such a dynamic in our community.
I love the fact that when we as gays have family problems, other gays surround them and we have these familial bonds that are closer than blood.
I love the way homos have taken over the fashion industry
I love the way homos have taken over the gospel music industry
I love the way homos have taken over every industry
I love when we dress up in drag, girls are envious
I love the way that even though we will take extreme measures, we are the most image conscious people on earth
I love the way our culture has evolved into something grand and beautiful
I love the way the older gays give the younger gays advice

I don't know, just something that came to mind. I'll be adding more as more comes, but in the meantime, you guys can add on if you like

I Wrote This Today

2008-06-18T20:56:00.000-07:00

I'm over the whole bf thing... when you're by yourself, it's just a whole lot easier not to get hurt, because if someone else hurts you, you cant help it. If your hurt yourself, you can only be mad at YOURSELF.

Atlanta, the Clark Sisters, and some other Bullshit

2008-06-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

So, I'm going to write about my wonderful weekend, parlaying with the Clark Sisters in my soon to be hometown of Atlanta, but first I have some other shit I want to talk about!

First, I've been talking to this guy Black Prose on and off for like almost a year now. Our relationship is interesting because he is a writer, and he's super intelligent and really deep, not to mention, kinda cute. Well, recently, we started talking again after like a 4 month hiatus (due to my recent induction back into the MySpace fam), and here and there we conversed and traded pics, etc. etc. and I was just happy not really getting anything from him but the occasional "howdy." Well, the other day, I got a call from him; or so I thought. It was actually his boyfriend pretending to be BP asking me various questions about how I was, did I think he was sexy, basically trying to get me to tell him what was really going on between me and BP.... he succeeded. I sang like a canary. By accident. Well, at the end of the convo, he says, this is not really BP, this is his boyfriend. I bet you didn't know he had one of those did you. He went on to tell me they had been dating for some time and all this other shit I didn't too much care about... Nonetheless, I contacted him via text saying "Hey, I talked to your boyfriend the other day" and this is the response I received:
"I know... I heard. And I know that I can not talk to you anymore. I never wanted anything from you. The reality is that I wanted everything from my boyfriend. Instead of facing the problem within my relationship, I strayed and ran away else where. My whole problem with me is that I am afraid to face my own demons. I am sorry to hav eled you on because I never wanted anyone but him. So that said, I can't have anything to do with you. And I will not, simply because my bf means too much to me. And right now I am losing him. So goodbye. Please don't call.

His MySpace url is the following: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=43775724

In other news, me and my ex Marcus have been talking alot lately... Now to be 100% honest, I can't say I'm totally over that nigga, but I can function without having a withdrawal breakdown. Well he told me he had sex with this guy that I know and see on a regular basis, and for some reason or another, it bothered me. Even though I've been in relationships and had sex with other people since then, I still can't help but feel some type of way now that this new info has surfaced....

Anyway, on to Atlanta. As you guys all know, 6'4 bought me a ticket to see the Clark Sisters in Atlanta this past weekend and I really enjoyed myself. Prior to me leaving, my grandmother had an emergency and I had to attend to her, so I thought I wouldn't be able to go, but me and some friends bit the bullet and drove from B'more to ATL, and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Atlanta is a beautiful city and I really enojoyed myself being there, and at the concert. Man, those sisters ran and squalled us all into a sick frenzy, and the concert was full of queens. (oh yeah, and I was 7 rows back, so when they sneezed, they could hear me say bless you).... I'm really considering making Atlanta my new home.... Enjoy the pics! I have some more but I can't find the USB cord for my camera... they had pics of me and KiKi Sheard. Now we weren't really allowed to take pics, but I did get a few.

The sisters in all their splendor and glory
Dorinda, Karen, Jacky, Twinkie, KiKi, and Dorinda's Daughter (what's her name??)
Dorinda and Karen
Karen is soooo pretty
Jacky's daughter Angel (backup singer)

Me in prep for the show
Beautiful ATL skyline
Blessed and Highly Favored
Jacky singing "Angels"

Oh yeah and many thanks to Norris for the hotel hookup and making sure I was taken care of.... EAT IT!

Curiosity Killed My Bank Account

2008-06-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

Soooo... this is what i get for being nasty. A couple days ago I was doing a PowerPoint presentation for work and I went online to look for some ClipArt just to make my presentation pop. The ones on my computer already were so old and blah, and I needed something new and fresh. So anyway, I think I googled like "cartoon clips" or something like that and the results page provided me a vast array of free clip art to choose from so that I could jazz my slides up a bit.

Well, one thing that did catch my eye on the result page was somthing that said cartoon porn. Curiosity took over and when I clicked the link, I was completely taken aback by what I saw. Pictures and pictures of cartoons that I grew up watching and loving were depicted performing sexual acts on each other... Cartoons like the Simpsons, Family Guy, the Flinstones, Mulan (wtf??). So what did my dumbass do? I purchased a 3-day trial membership for $3.95.

Now, I'm not a big porn person, so I'm always kinda antsy when I make purchases like this because I'm scared to put my credit card info on there, but this purchase wasn't so much about the porn, it was about the intrigue of cartoons I love having sex with each other!!

So after throuroughly reading the terms and conditions and reading that if I did not cancel my subscription to the site within the 3-day trial, I would be charged as a full member at $39.95. So I browsed a bit more, laughed, sat stunned, and was flabbergasted for about 30 minutes and then clicked the link to cancel my subscription... or so I thought.

I checked my bank statement yesterday and saw that I had a charge for $39.95 as well as a charge for $3.95 from the same person.... So you know I called them people and went off right? Not only are they refunding my 39.95 and the 3.95, but they're also paying my overdraft fee lol.... Now what?

I guess my only question would be, am I the only one oblivious to the fact that there is a world of crazy cartoon porn that is really popular enough to have multiple websites? I'll never watch Cartoon Network again.

P.S. you bitches thought I was lying huh?

How Rum and Vodka Ruined My Life

2008-06-09T07:17:00.000-07:00

So, Friday was my friend JB's birthday and he had this really cute party at his house which is about 10 minutes away from my own, and after getting off of work that night, I made my way to the party.

When I got there, everybody was eating and laughing and talking and just having a really good time. Excitement filled me to the brim until I saw this guy Christian that I've been diggin' for a long time now.. Chris is maybe 6'2", brown skin, perfect cornrows down to his back, and these piercing black eyes that melt me every time I'm in his presence.

Anyhow, we were all just enjoying each others company and then JB suggested that we play a hearty game of Truth or Dare. Well, that put everyone in that kind of "nervous-y" kind of state that everyone gets in when somebody suggest Truth or Dare, so before we began, they brought out the alcohol.... BIG MISTAKE : - / for me anyways..

Everybody began by taking Happy Birthday shots of Bacardi Melon and Absolut and I was right along with them. My only stupid ass mistake was not eating enough before the drinking started, so I paid the consequences later... I'll get to that in a minute though.

So anyway, back to truth or dare. Due to the alcohol in everyone's system, everybody was in this super bold state and were doing all kinds of dares and baring their souls when truth was picked. ::i.e., one of the dares for me was to have my friend Darien take his ass out and then have me lick a line of cake icing out of his ass...... yeah, so you get the gist of how the tone of the game went.::

The game lasted about an hour and a half and then everybody just was over it and people began to pass out wherever they were. The floor, their chairs, the sofa, the kitchen, etc. Me and Chris were outside on the deck talking and holding hands and giggling and telling jokes and doing the Barack Michelle Fist Pound (mind you I'm like 96.8% drunk at this point) until got really nauceous.... and threw up over the deck..... TWICE. 4 WORDS... IMM BEAR ASS ING! I remember getting really hot, so Chris ran in and got a cold wet towel to wipe my face and mouth, and then he carried my drunk ass to JB's bed. He sat with me and was just talking to me and making sure I wasn't too hot

.::SideBar.... let me tell you what Chris had on... Clean white V-neck tee, Calvin Klein Blazer, True Religion jeans, silver metallic gucci loafers.... yeah he has $$ and can dress his @$$ off....

I suppose I fell asleep for about 10 or 20 minutes, but then woke up and threw up all over JB's bed... Embarrassed again

So Chris picked me up and walked me to the bathroom like in a hug style so that if I had to throw up, the toilet would be within a reasonable distance... unfortunately....I didn't quite make the toilet..... and threw up all of Chris and his nice clothing...

Needless to say, he said he would call me and I haven't received a call yet.

: (

Moral of Story: never date I guy that wears nice clothing so that way when you throw up on him, you won't feel so bad....

In other T, the weather is getting to the scorching level and I'm going to the beach for the 4th of July (VA Beach)... 1) who's coming with? 2) Do you like this bathing suit for me?

FlashBack

2008-06-05T10:55:00.001-07:00

Sooo, I do sincerely thank and appreciate everyone for the concern, but White Jesus has delivered me from this smokin demon! Actually, it was never really that intense. It wasnt like I was chain smoking 3 packs a day, it was a more here a smoke, there a smoke, everywhere a smoke, smoke type of thing. Just a few. There were 2 things that stopped me for sure though.... My cousin works for American Outfitters, and for my birthday, he bought me a Michael Kors safari jacket which was absolutely amazing til when I was driving home smokin me a 100, I sneezed and dropped the cigarette on my jacket and now there is a cigarette burn on it.... :-(. Not too happy. Secondly, the cigarettes were making my mouth really dry, and for those who have seen me in person, know that these lips must stay lucious and moist because they are one of my $$$$ makers. I guess I say all of that to say, that the tobacco devil is dealt with and put to rest.

In other T, the reason I haven't posted a lot lately is cuz I haven't really had anything significant happen in my life. Things have been good, but they've been bLaH, so there hasn't been too much interesting stuff going down. I've been wracking my brain for things to write about, but I've just been drawing blanks over and over again. It's ok though, I have a fLaShBaCk for y'all.... Thoughts of Jared in red

Sooo, when I was like 17, I was on this whole "I'm 17, and I love older guys tip"....now don't get me wrong, I still gets life over an aged distinguished gentleman, but it was really bad back then. But anywho, I was working at Gap at the time, and this guy (about 36, 6'1, coffee with cream complected with a low fade, super duperly attractive) walks in and is like, "Hey uhhh, I'm going to a conference for my job, and I need a few outfits to go because it's going to be in Miami and I don't have any summer clothes. You look like you know what you're doing in the fashion department, so could you hook me up?"

ok....ummm... Am I a personal shopper or a sales associate?

So I get him a few polo style golf shirts and some nice linen pants to try on. He takes them and goes to the dressing room and requests that I go back there with him so I can critique each outfit. After coming out of the dressing room with a few of the outfits and getting the JS stamp of approval, he asks me to get him some underwear.....

Wha.. huh?? Ummm ok...

I asked him what kind he liked and he just said that he wanted me to choose....

Fast Azz Jared enter stage right

Now this man's waist had to be about a 35" or 36", but I went and got the smallest pair of boxer briefs Gap has ever sold and went back to the dressing room and was like.. "Ummm, I hope these are the right size" in a coy and shy manner... He put them on and modeled them for me.... I had an orgasm then, and I'm having one right now....

So anyway, after all was said and done, I took his clothing items to the register (he purchased the boxers, hell he had no choice, he put them on)... and rang up his purchase. He gave me his Visa... DECLINED. He gave me his bank card... DECLINED. He gave me is MasterCard....wait for it, wait for it, wait for it... DE-DAMN-CLINED. So after all the shame and embarrassment was wiped off of his face, he finally gave me cash, and his business card, and told me to call him so he could take me on a date after he got back from his trip. Now all of the aforementioned events should've Red Flags, but I was stupider then....

So I got off of work and called... let's call him Broke Business Professional - BBP for short. I called BBP and we spoke for a couple minutes and set up our date which was set to be at Phillip's Seafood Restaurant downtown, one of my favorite restaurants in el Mundo!

FF a week and a half.

We met at the restaurant, I in my best date outfit, he in his....he smelled really good that night too.... Anywho, we laughed, giggled, talked about our families, such and such, blah blah blah, you know, stupid date talk, when all of a sudden as the food was clearing off our plates, and cups were being emptied he got a call on his blackberry that he answered and put the index finger up to signify just a minute.

He stands up and goes to the sitting area and I just sit there finishing the last of the shitload of food I had ordered. Hell, I wasn't paying for it... or so i thought. Do you know that nigga up and left me at the restaurant to pay the bill????

I guess it wouldn't have been so bad if I had money but I didn't, so I had to call my sister and have her bring the money, and what made it worse was I had to tell her how stupid I was.... I still get clowned on for that by her.

I saw BBP at an event my job was doing at the Marriott a couple weeks ago. I look of utter shock and embarrassment controlled his face as I pumped over to him, shook his hand, and kep' it movin'.....lol

Oh yeah, one more thing, I just joined the MySpace family again, so if you have a page, add me!! You can find me by my email, j_shanlin@yahoo.com

Updates

2008-05-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

No people, I am not dead, just been kind of taking up space. I don't know how to explain it, but I've felt kind of purposeless these last few days. I feel like I've sold my soul to my job, and I don't have me time. Granted, I'm off for the next few days, but I don't even know what to do with myself when I do have me time. But anyways, here goes.

Work has been busting my ass, so I've taken up a new hobby.... smoking.. I don't know
why I even started smoking, because previously, I think I've only smoked like 2 cigarettes, and even while smoking these tobacco sticks, I don't know if I feel any different or "de-stressed" if you will. Maybe all psychological. Everybody keeps telling me, "stop smoking those goddamn cigarettes and get some weed", but 1)I've never smoked weed and don't have the desire to do so 2) I'm too scared that my job will do some random ass drug screening and ill come up positive for MaryJane and then get fired... mmmm. Plus, at this point, I'm not too fond of addictions.

*I went to the studio Friday and let have.... I noticed that when I smoke a cigarette before I sing, it gives me this Dorinda, Jon Legend-esque rasp that I absolutely adore, so I think before I sing in the studio again, I'll smoke a cigarette.

*I went to the club Saturday and had a really good time... that is until I saw 6'4. He had an attitude that I was dancing with this guy that he knows... childishness will not be tolerated in the latter half of 2008.

*Speaking of latter half of 2008, can you believe that this year is like almost halfway over? New Years' resolutions have not been at all honored.

*YouTube has been like my saving grace. Yesterday, I browsed YouTube for like 3 hours after I got off of work....

*I've been thinking about my life and my future, and I realized that I want to have a family, and possibly some kids. Like 6 months ago, the mere thought of having kids made me vomit in my mouth, but I think I'm softening up .

*DC Pride is this weekend, but the way I hear it, everything's gonna be dead because everybody is going to be in Miami... I may be partaking in some Pride events, so I'll post about it, if I do go.

*I like the question posts that Darius and Fuzzy posted, and I might do one later, but I think I'm going to put some rules up too, because y'all bitches are nosy lol!

My Birthday and A Few other things...

2008-05-10T06:21:00.000-07:00

Sooo, to say the least, my birthday was a lot of fun. I didn't do much (as I had planned) but it was a day of love and reflection. Thursday, I had a dinner with some of my closest friends which of course include Mr. Joey Bahamas. I would say that was a success, because I got to do 2 things that I really enjoy.... that is eat and eat.

Friday (my actual birthday), I tried to sleep in, but I got all these "Happy Birthday" calls that woke me up, so I didn't get that opportunity. Oh well. I got up, went to get a haircut and chilled at my mom's for a little bit. My family sang happy birthday for like the 30th time this week and then I went to my sisters house. I guess I could say that was a mistake... she was kinda pissed. Her and her boyfriend are going through a nasty break up and she wasn't taking it too well.

After I left there, Albert took me out to lunch. Now mind you it was 2 o'clock and I wasn't really hungry, but he was supposed to be "surprising" me. This nigga took me to Outback... at 2 o'clock....CLOSED! lol. He felt really bad about that, but I told him not to worry about it since "it was thought that counts"... we ended up going to this crab joint and he bought like 3 lbs of crab legs, and then we hit the liquor store and I drank a whole bottle of Alize and then half the bottle of Moscato that Joey bought me for my birthday... thanks Joey : )

After that me and Al watched a few movies, and then he gave me my present. He picked me up a few things from American Eagle... A sweater vest, a few T's, some jeans that I really like, and some shoes. After that, I was too drunk to stay awake, so I passed out and didn't wake up til about 9:30.

When I finally woke up, I just did my usual YouTube parouse and commented on some blogs and IMd a few people, then I was knocked out!

Ladies and Gentlemen, my 19th birthday!

In other news, I have a crush on a blogger. (lol don't click the link because you will be disappointed) (lol I told you!)

But anyway, yeah. I have a crush on a blogger. Yesterday, we texted like all day, and he's really sweet. In the past, I've been compared to Gabrielle Union in 'Deliver Us From Eva' so that means, the word "crush" is really not in my vocabulary.... well unless it's in the context of "crush"-ing somebody's head, or self esteem, etc. etc. Nonetheless, if distance and money weren't an issue, I'm pretty sure I'd either be where he's at, or he'd be where I'm at right now....

Next month, I'm going to see the Clark Sisters in Atlanta. I'll be there from the 12th to the morning of the 15th. All the logistics of the trip aren't 100% but I'll have it together. I'm really excited about this trip. Any ATL bloggers wanna meet up? Let me know!

Also, speaking of ATL bloggers, I feel Mr. Norris from GettingMyselfTogether, really tried it with that YouTube video of that FOINE man. I swear Norris, anything to get readers and comments! Damn! Now, while that man was clearly delicious, light skin has never been my cup of tea.... how about this guy??? Ladies and Gentlemen, Ryan Gentles. And let THAT be the reason!

Go Jared!

2008-05-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

Go Jared! It's your birthday. And your're gonna party like it's your birthday.

Hey people. Today is my birthday! Please come back later to find out exactly what I did because at this point, I don't even know!

Random Musings - May 6, 2008

2008-05-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

So, I was going to write a post strictly about Kim Burrell because I met her at a concert she did in Baltimore last week, but the camera that I recorded the videos with is nowhere to be found, and I really don't want to half ass a blog on someone so wonderful...

Things have been pretty good around here lately. Today I finished paying the majority of my bills so I have the man off my back until this time next month.

The hair that I shaved off of my face in an effort to change myself is rapidly growing back and causing hair bumps... damn

Is everyone in the gospel music industry gay?

Is it bad that even though we're not together anymore, me and 6'4 are still having "relations"?

Fantasia is going to be in Baltimore Sunday, and I am soooo going to see her.

I finished watching Elizabeth, The Golden Age starring Cate Blanchett. It was really good!

Sooo why are they shutting down the Krispy Kreme by my house, and the closest one other than that one is 45 minutes away... I'm writing a letter. Pissed.

My birthday is Friday, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. hmmmmmm......

Sooooo....

2008-04-27T11:50:00.000-07:00

FREAKUM DRESS - UM DRESS = ME THIS PAST WEEKEND ; )

So I know this is going to be a little intense, so I'm warning you ahead of time, but I had sex with this versatile top last night and I was really impressed.

Now, I've always considered myself vers, but I never got too much practice... well yeah pracitce in sex with vers people. I guess considering my size, mannerisms, style, etc, etc, people can't really see me topping anyone. Well, I take that back, I do get quite a bit of "hit-ups" on my BGC page from bottoms wanting a piece of well done Jared meat, but none that I've ever taken seriously. But anyway, me and VG (vers guy) had a date last night after I got off of work. What started off as an innocent movie night, became a make your own movie night.

I won't go into all the details of the sex part, but suffice to say that I plan on taking a trip into VGWorld sometime soon.

Albert who?

In other T, my mother (a very stylish woman, might I add) wore a melon colored short sleeved button up shirt, a black pencil skirt, white opaque tights, and camel colored peep toe 9West pumps to church Sunday. Somebody call the Fashion Police, the Fab5, or Jesus, and get her arrested.

Also, I downloaded Yahoo! Messenger finally, so hit me up! j_shanlin is my screen name!

Is it just me, or does anyone still feel high from the blogger reunion?

I think that's it for me. How do I look in my dress?

Me and 6'4 = No More

2008-04-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

EDIT: And anyway, who needs a 6'4 when you can jack off to this with no strings attached??? tee hee.. can I even say that? I swear, if Idris ever reads my blog, I am getting my ass whooped..... I'll take it though..

As I alluded to yesterday, me and 6'4 are finally done. Before the reunion, everything was grand. I purchased a subscription of Today's Bride magazine, and I was choosing a list of bride's maids (which would've included everyone who attended the Reunion).

I digress. Soooo, I told 6'4, whose real name is Albert (I have no need to protect his identity anymore because we are no longer together, and I don't care)... Sooo, I told Albert that I would be going to the reunion and I wouln't be able to spend a lot of time with him . we had this conversation like 2 weeks ago. He wanted to go to some of the events, but I told him no, because it was a BLOGGER FAMILY REUNION!! 2 MySpace blogs don't count sir!

So, Sunday, after the NJ kids left (and btw, Ty, I know you wrote a fabulous post, but your blog doesn't show up on my phone + I'm computer-less at this point in time. no shade. lotsa love ; ).. So, Sunday, after the NJ kids left, I showered, took a quick nap, and headed over to Al's house. He was acting some kinda way. Very quiet, distant, attitude-y. I asked him what was wrong. "Nothin". I asked him if I had done something "No." I asked him if he was hungry. "No." So then he says "I'm going to my friend's house. I'll just see you whenever."

WOW.

So after that, I went to my sister's and just chilled, laughed, talked to her about my weekend, but then I got bothered by Albert's attitude. I texted him saying "Babe, I haven't seen you all weekend and I miss you." to which he responded, "So when your friends are here, I'm not good enough for you, but when they're gone, you wanna be in my face? Are you ashamed of me?"

Did he just take it to another dimension? Oh but I thank God hunny.

So I told him of course not and I love him and nobody else had their bfs and stop trippin', etc etc.

So then he reverted to this I want to be left alone mode where he claimed he wanted to be left alone but yet he went to the club, and was full of life at work.... but you want to be left alone right?

So finally, OJ (Old Jared)came out and he said, "Fuck It" : )

Yesterday he texted me and asked me when he could come get his things because our relationship was built on a lie and he couldn't do it any more, so I promptly packed his toothbrush, his hair brush, and his towels and his cologne and his bball shorts and dangled them over the balcony of my apartment. He's tall. He'll get it.

So, as is standard after every breakup that I have, I did something crazy. I cut all the hair off of my face, cut my mohawk, and enrolled myself in bartending school. Since he has so much time now, maybe he'll see me slingin' drinks shirtless ; )

I'm doing a whole lot bebtter than I thought I would be, and actually, I fell happy and free.

Today I got my FrEaKuM dReSs out of the cleaners too!

..::Sidebar::.. Do you guys remember that "All the pork you can eat diet" thing from the Klumps? I am still getting my life on that from the reunion...LMFAO!

; )

Blogger Family Reunion

2008-04-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

Sooo, to say I had an absolute BLAST this past weekend at the First Annual Blogger Family Reunion would be the understatement of the year hunny!

By the way. sorry for the delay on this particular posting. I haven't really been feeling too hot and I think I may have pink eye. : (

I digress. I had a fuckin ball this past weekend. I have never had so much anticipation for one weekend, and with the anticipation, came no disappointments.

I really don't want to go too much into detail about the weekends events because 1) my fellow bloggers have for the most part touched on everything, and 2) I was shit-faced the majority of the weekend, so I don't really remember too much anyway.

Friday night, I got off of work and trekked to DC to pick up fellow blogger and close friend Joey (joeybahamas.blogspot.com). and from there, came the suite, and from there came the introductions and from there came the alcohol, and then everything was a blur after that.

Much love to EVERYONE in attendance. I really enjoyed myself.

SEE YOU IN SAN JUAN WHORES.

Oh and by the way, I am currently seeking a new boyfriend. If anyone is or knows someone who is interested, give them my email address : )

My Week In Short...

2008-04-08T10:27:00.000-07:00

So far, this week has been grand. I cleaned up my dirty ass apartment and had a nice little dinner party with a few of my coworkers... well... it started out as a nice little dinner party, but it transformed into a drunken game of Truth or Dare lol. Who knew such a sweet drink like Moscato would tear ur ass up sooo bad?!?!

I also started painting this week as well. My theme and color scheme changed from the ever classic black and white, to chocolate and cherry red, to tan and brown, to not giving a damn anymore and deciding not to paint, to finally settling on a cute combination of "true walnut", "pear green", and "flamingo melon". I finally got my Blockbuster card so as I painted, I watched Wanda Sykes and Margaret Cho stand up.

It feels so good to have all my bills paid.The rent is paid, BGE is paid, cell phone is paid, car is full of gas, fridge full of food.... Wonderful feeling it is.

::sidebar:: this bank teller Carlos is fine as shit!

Me and 6'4 went to dinner last night... : ) sigh....

This Friday, me and the group I sing with are opening for the concert I was telling you guys about a few weeks ago. The Dorinda Clark, Tye Tribbett, and Richard Smallwood.... SUPER EXCITED!

Can you believe that I'll meet all my blogger pals in almost a week????

Soooo......

2008-04-03T08:30:00.000-07:00

...these last few days have been so "Blah". I guess if I could sum them up in a few emotions/feelings, I would say boredom, contenedness, hunger, business, and boredom again.

At work, I took a new 4x10 schedule which basicaly means as opposed to me working my regular 5 day a week, 8 hours a day shift, I'm working 4 days a week and 10 hours a day. It seemed really great at first, but now I'm beginning to think it was a hasty decision that I should've thought through a little more. Granted, I do get 3 consecutive days off, but that's overshadowed by the fact that I really don't have shit to do those 3 days, I don't get shift differential anymore, and these 10 hour days are beginning to whip my ass. I guess the determining factor of whether or not I keep the schedule is when I see my April 18th paycheck.

In other news, me and 6'4 finally got something together. I'm not quite sure what that something is, but it is what it is. After not speaking to him and not so much as even nod in his direction when I saw him at work for a few days proved to him that I was not playing with his ass. He finally got the nerve to call me and we had a lovely dinner and conversation about our future as a couple. I guess suffice to say, something is there, just not too sure what it is yet, but whatever it is makes me feel good.

I've decied that before I get the rest of my furniture in my apartment, I'd like to paint. I'm noy sure what color scheme or theme I want to go with, but right now I'm working with a blank canvas, so the sky is the limit. I just purchased a signed picture of the queen herself, Ms. Knowles-Carter, but I'm not too sure where I want it to be on my walls.

Last night, I went to Blockbuster at around 10ish because I was bored and frankly, I'M tired of watching the same DVDs that I own. I guerss I forgot that I would have to have some sort of membership card to rent, and because of the late hour, I wouldn't be able to partake in anything they had to offer. I just went to the "Adult video store" across the street and ate shrimp all night with 6'4 and watched porn. How bout them apples Blockbuster?

Is anyone else like totally shocked that the reunion is like in 2 weeks??

100th Post!

2008-03-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

Yaaaaay for me!! This is my One Hundredth post!!

Now, I know this may be chicken ass for some, but it's awesome to me!

What's The T has been an outlet for me to say whatever the hell I want to say. It's been a journal for me to write in, and it's been a shoulder for me to cry on.

On top of all that, I've made a family that is absolutely the best thing that's happened to me. A core group of friends that I can share experience with, get advice from, or just have a grand ol' keke session with. For that fam, I thank you.

Aaaand what better way to celebrate my 100th post then getting a call from my doctor saying that I'm negative for all STDs!!! : )

Here's to my first 100 and 100 more!

Much love,
Jared

Give Me A Reason

2008-03-25T08:10:00.000-07:00

"As a warning, I'd just like to say that this post was conceived from a threesome that was had by myself, anger, and that bitch bitterness. I don't rally know where I'm going with this, so bear with me.

I'm sooo sick of having my fuckin feelings hurt. It's like I'm just a tarhge for that shit. It's like this beautiful man comes in on his white horse and his iron suit of armor, but in the end the iron turns out be aluminum foil.

In the beginning, you get all these "baby, I want to be with you forever" and "baby I will never hurt you" statements that aren't even worth shit.

To me it's like a used car salesman. He gels that hair back and puts on that brand new suit and coaxes you into buying a piece of shit car, and then when you drive it off the lot, the engine fails and the tranmission falls out!

And the part the sucks the most is, I'm always the one that holds up my end of the bargain. i'm always the one that communicates, shares emotions/feelings, take care of my significant other, etc. and I never get it back, and then my feelings are hurt.

Oh well, the freakum dress is comin out tonite.

Where Am I Now??

2008-03-20T10:17:00.001-07:00

So, here lately, I've been busier than a one legged man in a but kicking contest, but all good things though.

I finally got 6'4 the hell outta my house long enough to get some kind of cleanliness, orderliness, and semblance in my home. I ordered some furniture, and now i'm just waiting to see that BGE bill lol. To be totally honest, I spent a little bit more than I should've this month, but it's all good because I have enough for rent (lol, I think).

The last few days have been the busiest yet though; but it's ok because I got to cross a few items off of my Life To Do List (which by the way includes making love to Idris Elba, skydiving, going on tour with Fantasia, Beyonce, and the Clark Sisters, etc.)

Yet I digress lol. Anywho, one of my good friends, T who is extremely gifted in the field of music asked me if I would consider singing with him and a group of other talented musicians for a studio recording. of course I obliged, and let me just say, those people are the most talented group of people I've ever had the pleasure of working with, and I don't even regret using my second to last sick day to be apart of this effort.

Now, this is not my first studio experience, it's actually my 6th or 7th, but the professionalism and the sound that was produced by our sound tech/engineer was absolutely amazing.

In 2 days we banged 6 songs out, and for anybody that is familiar with studio recording, or just music in general, that's a lot of ground to cover with singing, breaks, solos, redos, bathroom time, jokin around, etc.

Anyhow,I can't wait til our next session and i'll definitely let you know when our "album" cuts...

The above pictures are of me and the group and them tramps sang me into a filthy dirty frenzy you hear?

Random Update

2008-03-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

Soooo, I know I haven't been around "Blogifornia" lately, but things have been a little crazy around here. I between work, cooking, "christening" my apartment with 6'4, and doing any and everything else, I haven't really had time for much else. But no fear, Jared is here to stay!

Basically, the pictures I posted of my crib are pretty much identical to what it looks like now. Boxes and dirty laundry have taken over lol, but it'll be taken care of soon enough.

Communication with my parents has been minimal, but good nonetheless. I think I miss them, but not enough to be home sick...yet. It's only been a week.

I had to call maintenance already because my toilet is backed up and my oven started smoking when I turned it on : (. lol... a mess.

Last night I went to Club Bunns in Baltimore. I am not a big go out, clubby person,so when I go, I do it big. Yes, it was chilly, but No, I didn't let the temperature control my wardrobe choices. I had on some charcoal and white cuffed mid thigh shorts and my Steve Madden knee hi gold cowboy boots and a little seafoam green t-shirt and a big locket and my Marc Jacobs sunglasses.
The night was fun I suppose. I guess as fun as one can imagine. A bunch of alcohol ridden dudes rubbing their hard ons into my back and whispering what they wanted to do to me in the privacy of their homes... yeah, it was alright.

But that's what I've been up to here lately. How've you guys been?

2008-03-10T07:48:00.000-07:00

So, It'S finally over and I'm so happy it is. The move is complete! Earlier last week, me and my parents had a little clash of wills, so I ended up staying in an empty apartment. : (, but after a few apologies on both ends, all issues were resolved. Yesterday, my fam and I carted all my earthly possessions to [insert address] and I now live here. As you can probably see in the pictures, things are kinda messy of course (boxes and newspaper everywhere; matress in the living room; etc.), but they more than likely will be that way for the next few weeks.

Oh and by the way, yes that's Beyonce on my refrigerator, and yes that's 6'4 laying on my mattress lol!

Have a good day!

Blessed and Highly Favored

2008-03-05T05:18:00.000-08:00

So, those of you read the blog or know anything about me, you know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Clark Sisters (lol funny how I go from talking about butt plugs to an internationally reknown gospel quartet right?) But anyway I LOVE them sangin' heffas and have as far back as I can remember.

Well, to my surprise, I found out that my FAVORITE sister Dorinda, will be in Baltimore on April 11, and you already know I bought my floor seat!

Her along with Richard Smallwood and Tye Tribbett are gonna lay me out All Nite!

Well, my current beau, who I previously spoke about (6'4), knows of my obsession with these Divine Divas, and he also knows that I missed them when they came to Baltimore, so this wonderful piece of chocolate man bought me a ticket to see them in their concert in Atlanta in June(the one with the meet and greet reception following) aaaand the hotel room and the roundtrip airfare.....

Aaaaaaaah, I think I'm in love.

I Asked But Nobody Responded

2008-02-29T08:40:00.000-08:00

So last post I asked if I could do a sex post but noone except for my girl Jasmin from "Divalicious Opinions" said yes, so she bought the farm for everyone and I'm writing it. To be totally honest, I would've written it anyway because of 2 reasons. 1)because everyone should know about this 2)I haven't written a sex post in a long time 3)this is my blog :) (ok I changed it. 3 reasons)

So of course before I begin, I throw a disclosure out there before I write something of a explicit subject matter. If you are uncomfortable with anything of homosexual sex or sex in general stop reading now..... ok now................... ok for real now.................. aight. I warned yo asses.

So I was a little antsy about writing this, but I figured if it was out of line one of my peers would tell me how wrong I am and I'll write a public apology.

Anyway, as some or all of you may know, Jared has a problem with being on the receiving end of anal sex. This isn't the first time that I've written something about it but it surely won't be the last. Now, despite all the problems that I have, it still never fails that I either have the urge to do it, ot someone has the urge to do it with me. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if those people didn't have like Goliath-esque penises : (.

Currently, the "penis" that I'm trying to "conquer" is that of 6'4. I talked about him like a couple weeks ago, and yes we're still communicating, but instead of us being in a boyfriend/boyfriend relationship, it's more of a "I'll call you when I want my ass ate out, you call me when you want your dick sucked" type thing. I guess the good thing about it though is that neither one of us feel pressured to do anything or make the relationship something that it's not. Also, neither one of us are involved with anybody else.

So just as a clarification.. his dick is really big, and my asshole is, well, really not.

I tried everything to "warm myself up" if you will for that big ass piece of meat. Dildos, lube, "anal exercises", etc etc. None of which worked.

So I went to a LOVE ONES store in my area and got some help from Dottie (I doubt that was her real name). I told her about my little issue and she introduced me to the world of butt plugs. But plugs are these cone shaped objects that are meant to give pleasure anally and to stretch the anus (there's actually a whole article about them on Wikipedia... who knew?)

So Anyway there these "anal stimulants" in all shapes, sizes, and colors as you can probably guess if you're in a sex toy store.

I just bought a plain one that was not super big and not super small and of course a coniderable amount of lubrication (WET Platinum).

All I'm going to say is, if you have anal sex and haven't used a butt plug, please purchase one.

I had the BEST orgasm that I have ever had (by myself or with someone else) and I even think I'm ready to face the giant. : )

Fine Liqeour

2008-02-28T05:47:00.000-08:00

Ok so last night at around 1130 I was driving home and when I was trying to enter my neighborhood, this guy was walking through the entrance so I couldn't drive through.

At first, I didn't pay ol' dude any mind, but then I realized that this wasn't just any dude. He was a very well dressed, handsome, COLD dude (it was 24 degreeslast night). Anyway, I just drove on past and minded my own business as I turned on to my street.... but then I felt bad. So I whipped around and rolled down the window and was like "Dude, are you ok?" He turned around and was like "My car broke down and I'm walking to the gas station" so I responded "Get in, I'll take you."

::Ok I know what you're thinking, he coulda been a serial killer or a rapist, but hey he had a nice face::

So, anywho, dude gets in, and I'm driving to the gas station and rapping each other up: What's your name? Where you comin from? You don't have a bigger coat? You were going to try to make it all the way to Baltimore with no gas?? You're 21? etc etc

So we get to the closest gas station which is literally 1 minute driving from my house. We get there, but sadly the gas station was closed, so we had to go to the gas station that's like 7 minutes driving (imagine if he had to walk that far right?) Let's call him FL (Fine Liqueor).

FL got a gas canister and filled it up and on the way back to his car he couldn't be more thankful, and when we got to his car and filled his tank up with the gas he just bought, he even tried to take me to an ATM machine to take his damn money. Of course I declined, but then he asked me if I'd setle for dinner.

Hell yeah! I LOVE free food. Me and FL have a date! Is that wrong?

::Question of the Day::
Can I write a sex post in a couple days?? My eyes were opened to something last night... : )

A Brief Update

2008-02-25T06:40:00.000-08:00

Ok, first of all, special and many thanks go out to everyone who was thinking about and praying for my family the last couple days. My dad is out of the hospital and is doing well... ummm a little too well actually. It's like the man never learns. The doctor told him he could come home but some diet changes would definitely be in order as well as regular exercise. Yeah ummmm.. Last night he snuck out to get Popeye's.... I'm over it.

With all the foolishness regarding my dad's health on Saturday night/Sunday morning, I felt the best way to cope was to treat myself to a little retail therapy. And that I did. I bought a few pairs of cute work slacks and a melon colored cardigan from Express and a couple Oxford style ties. I also had a field day at Wal*Mart and bought some little important things that I'll need for my crib (paper towels, Windex, broom, candles, shower liner, etc...).

Then, me and my mom's friend went to Ikea and I bought a cute dining room table and some other little decorative items that will spice my place up a little bit. I had a really good time doing that cuz it gave me a lot of really good ideas on how I wanted to decorate and what color schemes I wanted to use... And I bought a cart-load of stuff but I only spent $76 (including my table).... Only thing is, I have to find some nigga to putt it together for me, because I simply just will not, ok?!

I went to the apartment Saturday afternoon and got to take a look at my actual unit. Maintenance had pretty much finished cleaning up after the previous tenant, so I finaly got the key to MY unit. As soon as I got in, the clothes INSTANTLY came off and I danced naked for 15 minutes... then of course, I walked out that bitch like nothing happened.

Things are shaping up nicely, and my countdown is getting shorter and shorter. I wish March would hurry up and come...

Oh and by the way. Thanks so much to everyone that bought me something on the registry... Greatly Appreciative ok!? Expect to get some kind of correspondence from me within the next few weeks.

Question of the Day ::drumroll::
Who's buying Janet's CD "Discipline" tomorrow?... not me!

I Won't Complain

2008-02-23T21:15:00.001-08:00

So, I was gonna write a complaint post about some bullshit service I got at Jiffy Lube earlier and the long ass time I spent at the DMV, but I won't.

I'm in a hospital waiting room right now, and I just wish I wasn't.

After a long day, I am totally spent. About 2 hours ago, I was lying in the bed preparing for at least 9 or 10 hours of deep sleep and textin Darius about grocery shopping I did earlier until I heard my dad scream out in pain.... Chills just shot down my fuckin back.

He was in the bathroom throwing up, so I threw my phone down and ran down to the bathroom and opened the door and when he looked up, I was in utter shock. I have never seen such a dark skinned man look so pale.

I ran and got my mom and we immediately called 911. In the 15 minutes it took for the ambulance to get to our house, it was like a nonstop vomitfest for my dad. He just kept saying "my side feels like it's on fire. my side feels like it's on fire."

I didn't cry cuz I had to be strong for moms.... we were the only ones in the house coincidentally.

Finally, the ambulance got to our house, and they got Pops on a stretcher and sped off to the hospital. I followed.

Now, I'm in the waiting room. All my siblings are all here (my one sister came from the club... needless to say, if Daddy saw her, he would het out of the bed and whip her ass... I just wanted to be like "Well I see the ho train has arrived"lol.

We have some information but not all. Dad has 2 kidney stones and him vomiting was his body's way of breaking them up. All the vomiting caused such a strain on him that he had a very very minor heart attack.

As many problems or differences me and old pops have, I love him. I really do. As more info comes, I'll provide it. In the meantime fam, pray to whoever you call God and get my dad out of this hell

-Jared

Movin' On Out

2008-02-21T13:01:00.000-08:00

Hey good people!

Sorry about the little break I took. Things have been a little bit hectic this last week or so with my move and everything. My thoughts are going all over the place as I write this, and I just can't help but smile.

This time last year, moving out was just a whim of my ever active imagination, and now, it's an ever present, forthcoming reality. It's reall kinda crazy.

Here's a brief little update.

The one apartment that I wrote about previously; the one I was supposed to move into with super cheap rent didn't actually come through for me. I can't quite remember what it's called, but it was one of those apartment complexes that the government runs, and the people that live there can't make above a certain amount of money... Well I didn't know that, and sadly... I make too much money to live there... That's ok, fuck them! lol

So after I found out that apartment wasn't for me, I didn't get too discouraged, I just kept on pressing.

I looked for apartments in Howard County (too expensive, but also too small) Baltimore City (real cheap, real dangerous ::no shade::), Montgomery County (cute area, but too far from home and work), Anne Arundel County (where I live now, but about $200 more dollars than I was willing to pay).

I was running out of choices, that is until I went to Baltimore County. Baltimore County is a pretty good mix of bustling city life and the quietness of the 'burbs. There're enough Blacks to feel at home, but not so many that one would feel uncomfortable. And, the White population is pretty visible.

After thorough examination at some of the apartments in the area, I realized I wasn't getting far. Either the apartment was too close to the the highway or too far. Either it was right on the street or too secluded in the forest. Either the rent was too high and no utilities were paid (not even water) or the rent was just right and everything was paid, but the WHOLE APARTMENT was the size of my bedroom at home... : (

Well, I finally found one! Woodridge Apartments! They had a mixture of everything I was looking for. It's literally down the street from restaurants, carry out places, grocery stores, barber shops, the mall, video rental stores, etc, etc AND they pay my water and gas... all that + the amazing walk-in closet (which is just big enough to house my 3' tall picture of Audrey Hepburn) = a very happy Jared!

So it's settled... I paid my security deposit yesterday and my move is on the 1st (cuz I get the first month free)...yaaay free first month!

Now that's all the good and dandy stuff, but there is the other side of course. Ok, like my budget is alloted out to the last brown cent, but I'm a little nervous. What if God forbid an emergency arises and I can't pay my bills. What if I get laid off? I'm moving from a full home to an empty house, and what if I get lonely? IDK, all negative thoughts, but valid ones I suppose.

So anyway 93.4685946276497% of me is super excited about the move, so now all I have to do is get furnishings and different lil things for my lil place!.... Speaking of which, with the help of my most favoritest uncle, Uncle Cocoa (http://notshady.blogspot.com) I finally completed my Housewarming registry on www.walmart.com!!! Yaaaay me! Now I don't know exactly when my housewarming party will be, but I figured when everyone comes for the blogger reunion, we may be able to meet at my new pad for a few drinks or somethin'... the fridge will be full of Grey Goose! yaaaaay Grey Goose!

So anyway back to the registry (hint hint)... If you go to www.walmart.com and click on the wishlist link, and type in my name (Jared Shanklin ::with a k::) you'll see my wishlist for like April 10th. There's another one for a Jared Shanklin but I don't even know who that is, cuz I didn't make that one. Everything on the list is under $30, so if you find it in your heart to buy me something, please please please please please email me with your name and what u bought and your mailing address so I can send you a personalized thank you card.

I guess that's it for me.
Love you lots!

Do You Take This Man

2008-02-13T06:11:00.000-08:00

So, I know I left you guys hangin' yesterday without much detail about the whole doing something with married men thing, but I'm here to clear that up.

I've had 2 experiences with married men. One of them I'll talk about today, and the other one I'll talk about at a later time because I'm not too sure how I'm going to do it yet... bear with me.

Experience number one... This guy I work with (married, 23, 2 kids) named "David" is real cool. We met when I first began working at my current job. We don't have really anything in common (except the fact that we're both cute and that we both have a Clark Sisters obssession).

Sooo, David (allegedly) had a crush on my best friend Tiffany and he was always talking to me about her, and saying all the stuff he would do to her. NOw I know what you're thinking... "Hey wait! I thought he was married!" Yeah well he can blow that out of his asshole... Apparantly him and his wife are separated. Something about them getting married at 18 and making decisions too fast.

A couple months later, we still haven't had much conversation... just the exchange of the occasional pleasantry and a few words here and there about gospel music... That is until Tiffany calls me and is like "David asked me for your number and I gave it to him." WTF!!?? why would you do that?

So sure enough David texts me within the hour saying the ever intelligent greeting: "Sup"... I respond back.. "who the fuck is this?"... to which he responds "such dirty words coming from such a pretty mouth"... to which I respond "fuck that. who in the hell even is this?". Finally, he tells me who he is, and we embark on some kind of convo that I was actually very bored with until he was like "you have a sexy ass, Tiffany showed me".

EMERGENCY!! EMERGENCY!!

A few weeks before, I sent a picture of my ass to Tiffany telling her to pucker up and kiss it... She had said somethin' smart. That picture was for her to kiss, and discard, not to show all my co-workers. WTF!?

So anyway.. FF>> about a week. Me and David had become a litle more friendly... Pictures had been sent. Gropes in the work washroom had been executed, promises of sexual pleasure had been exchanged, and it was kinda cool, cuz I knew in the end, no feelings would be involved, and no strings would be attached (at least on my end anyway)because after all, he was married...

Well, these intimate exchanges went on for about 5 days, and I was all set to just let him "blow my back out", that is until he sent me a 2 page e-mail (over the work e-mail) about how he couldn't do anything with me because God would not be pleased, and if he continued down this "destructive road" he would "be cast into the lake of fire" and it would be disrespectful to his wife, and how he is not nor has he ever been gay, and how he is sorry to lead me on... BLAH BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH!!!

Yeah well needless to say, that's over. Now, I will say, as dirty as it may be, had sir David not went on his holiness trip, I still probably would've fucked him, but because that page of my history is closed, I will let my vibrator do all the work... he treats me better anyway.

The funniest thing off all though, is when I changed shifts at work, we got the same supervisor, so now we sit right next to each other. Can you say awkward?? Well not for me, because I continue to wear tight pants to work, and I STILL switch up and down the aisles, more than likely better than his wife ever could...

QUESTION OF THE DAY: (drumroll)
Would you do anything, relationship or sex with a married person? If so, what situations are and are not kosher? If not, why wouldn't you?(cuz I bet the farm, if Dwayne Wade's ass wanted some, drawers would be dropped all over the nation:: wait isn't he getting a divorce too? oh well)...

So ummm...

2008-02-12T10:56:00.000-08:00

So ummmm yeah ::clears throat::.... is it bad to have sex with a married man? lol.. Just asking...

BTW, does anyone have a valentine this year? I have a position available for anyone who wants to apply...

Aaaaah Friday....

2008-02-08T07:18:00.000-08:00

So it's Friday at last and I'm so very excited that it is. Today is PayDay as well, which is also an excellent. Now the majority of this check is going to my security deposit and my first month's rent and cookware and some other odds and ends (my move date is officially April 1st by the way), but I'm still super happy that I'm on the fast track to being on my own.

Today, I'm also graduating from my transition class at work. Transition is like the time that you're really on the phones all day, but you're still being monitored kinda heavily (I'ma customer service rep for a big cell phone company. I'm the one that listens to customer complaints about their bill, phones, service, etc... all day long).

Well after today, I'l be officially embedded in the company, which also means, that I'll be eligible for that great overtime that my company offers. I've already signed up for Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday! (What?! A bitch has to get some furniture and shit!)

Aaaah Friday! I hope everyonr enjoys their weekend... I know I will be. Have fun skiing without me Uncle Cocoa. Hey Fuzz! QueerKid, answer yor damn phone! What's going on Branden?

Karma is the Bitch of all Bitches

2008-02-05T08:21:00.001-08:00

So... It's like the circle never ends; You do something wrong to somebody and that shit comes back on your ass. The fucked up part about it though is that, when the proverbial "shit comes back on your ass" you don't even know what it's for.

I guess I should begin the story, so ladies and gents, here goes.

About a month and a half ago, this guy hit me up on BGC with like all these private pictures, and he was just the typical internet scrubs that they can make it in this male-dominant, visually stimulated community without showing face. So anyway, dude is like "wassup shawty, u real sexy blahzay blahzay blah... I'll see you at work tomorrow"...WHOA WHOA WHOA! HUH? I'll see you at work tomorrow? HWHAT?

So at this point my mind was racing trying to figure out who this dude was... I responded to him saying "ohawright, that's cool... have I ever seen you before?" to which he reponded "probably not, I work on the other side of the building".

Basically, our conversation went like that until finally, he opened his private pictures. Now, he was correct, I had never seen him before, but oh was he fine.

Next day, dude(let's call him 6'4).. walks by my cube and winks at me... oh, to relive that moment. I felt like a stupid school with her first crush. That's kinda how I've been feeling with every new guy I deal with after my bounce back from Leroy.

So anyway, we start talking on the regular for a few weeks, and before you know it, I was actually starting to like this 27 year old, 6 foot 4, bald, dark chocolate piece of testosterone charged and infused man. Yeah, I said it: 27. Moving right along.

6'4 called me about 3 weeks in to our cute little situation and was like "Look, I'm really starting to get attached to you. I like your personality your wit blah blah blah... The only thing is, you're young. You're almost 10 years younger than me, and I've never dated this young. If we start dating, I want you to be straightforward and honest with me. I wanna be with you for the long run. I don't want you to play games with me because I'm too old for that and blah blah fuckin blah...

I agreed to all his terms and conditions and was very happy that somebody else finally understood what I was looking for and mirrored it. Somebody Gets It!

After that, I was kinda sprung. I have to admit. I was thinkin' about all this cute stuff we could do on Valentine's Day and his birthday and all this other cutesy shit (by the way, this is sooo rare because I am by no stretch of the imagination romantic or "lovey dovey").

So then the inevitable happened.... I spent the night. Yes it was the inevitable. I went over there on a Friday night, and that was one of the best Fridays ever. I left work at 7 and when I got to the door, he was already cookin... This man can burn. He made salmon steaks with greens and brown rice... the hungry bitch within came out really fast! We just ate and watched movies all night and laughed and talked and hugged and cuddled and shared. It was wonderful. (oh yeah and we had sex too. the sex was good too. I mean good. Like real good. A little painful, but good.)

Saturday morning, he cooked again. Morning after sex breakfast is always the best breakfast, cuz the munchies are bad as a muhfucka. He made bacon and eggs and biscuits and potatoes and we ate these popsicles that I called 'liquid crax' because they were so damn addictive.

That day we watched some more movies and had some more great conversation, and I was just content that this was the best weekend I had had in a long while. We talked about everything, including the problems me and my parents were having and stories about my car and even that I didn't go to my prom.

After that, I fell asleep, and when I woke up, 6'4 had on a long sleeved button up and some dress pants (I'm still in my tank top and boxer briefs mind you), so I asked him where he was going. Get this guys. He told me he wasn't going anywhere, but he was taking me to the prom I never had. He put on some slow jamz and we just danced the entire night away and I just cried and cried(and then I "lost my virginity on my prom night" lol)

This guy is great right? And that's not even all. Because my car is new and I hadn't received my registration, I didn't have my validation stickers on my license plates, therefore my car got towed. Now this happened that Friday night but i didn't realize it until Saturday night when I was getting ready to leave. To get my car out of the tow lot, it cost $220, but I only had $100 at the time. 6'4 gave me the remaining $120 and even told me I didn't have to give it back to him! Like, where did this guy come from??

I got home and went to sleep really happy about my weekend and when I woke up Sunday, I called him up to tell him so. We didn't talk much Sunday though, because he was working some overtime so he was busy, but then came Monday.

Monday 6'4 called me and was like "We need to talk". So I'm like "about what?". Then he proceeded to go into how he was still feelin his ex and how I reminded him of his ex but I was no substitute and he was trying to make me one, and how he was reaally sorry and all this other stuff.....

So now I'm pissed and I'm ready to put on my silver wig and my white contacts and go Storm on his ass.

But then I got to thinkin'. I can't be mad at him because of how he feels, cuz that's how he feels. I'm just mad that he had this whole conversation with me about being mature and not playing games and not leading him on, but then he turned right around and did everything that he asked me not to do... which is also why I was thinking "is this karma coming back on me for something? what the hell did I do?"

This is also why I posted that "Don't YOu Hate It When..." post. But ultimately the funny part is... he's still calling me asking me to hang out and fuck...I'm like bitch, ask you're ex! Like what the fuck? Am I like some blowup doll or something that you just call when you need to bust?? Aaaabsolutely not. At this point, I wouldn't even piss on him of he was on fire, and the wrath of Jared Abraham Shanklin scorned is second to noone's.

I think I'm going to become a lesbian....

Tee Hee, Giggle Giggle....

2008-02-04T09:49:00.000-08:00

Sooo, that's how I'm feeling right now, and I've actually been feelin' that way for the entire weekend.

First, Friday was absolutely wonderful because I signed the lease for my first apartment! Ever since I've been back home from my brief kickout last year, I've felt like a caged bird, and trust, this bird ain't been singin'. So, about 3 and a half weeks ago, I began my apartment search, scouring any apartment books, websites, Pennysavers, and college roommate ads for something I could call my own. I visited apartments, townhomes, and even student apartment complexes within the county, Baltimore city, and even so far as Randallstown, and Prince George's county (I know my out-of-state readers are lost as hell... just know these places are kinda far).

Last Thursday, I was looking at this nice ass complex called "The Forest" in the county (aka the suburbs), but those evil whores wanted $876 for a studio apartment which is not only out of my price range, but also totally unacceptable considering the apartment was the size of a toddler's penis with NO utilities included AND no central heating or air conditioning.... a mess.... Sad thing is, this was pretty much the going rate at all the complexes I had visited within the last 2 weeks, so discouragement began to set in like gangrene.

That is until I was on my way home from "The Forest" and I saw a complex called "The Villages". Aaaah the Villages, what a breath of fresh air... I walked into the leasing office and sat in the office (a process that was really beginning to piss me off...) and I spoke with Ms. Barbara. Ms. Barbara was this middle aged, heavy set, kinda earthy woman with this cool ass orange lipstick with finger nail polish to match (tackiness at is finest : )... sorry ms b.), with these beautiful long locks. She greeted me and I told her that I was looking for an affordable, quaint studio apartment with a window or two. She had me fill out a welcome card and asked to see my ID (another mundane process that was making me nauseous), and we were on our way.

Ok, so she takes me to the door of my soon to be dream studio and when she opens the door, I asked for a broom and dustpan so I can pick up as many broken pieces of my face as possible. If the other apartment was the size of a toddler's penis, then this apartment was the size of a mosquito's penis (and that's when it's on soft.) As soon as I walked in, I was in the kitchen, bathroom, and closet; all at the same time... no shade.

I took a look at Ms. Barbara and I suppose my face said it all because those lips with that orange lipstick cracked into a smile and she said "I thought you would feel this way; Let's see if we can find you something bigger"... uh duh!

Let me reiterate: I am just south of 6' and my collection of size 11.5 Nike Dunks wouldn't even fit in this apartment, let alone my tall ass...

So next, Ms. B takes me to this absolutely gorgeous 1 bedroom place on the second floor and I instantly fell on love. It has a nice living room (so Uncle Cocoa can do his coochie coochie dance), an eat-in kitchen (where Darius can make me fat) and a spacious bedroom (where all the magic and wonder that is me and Idris Elba naked happens)... I was already sold... ::record scratches; back 2 life and reality:: I'm like "Uhhh yeah Barb, this is all nice and good, but bitch, how much is this muhfucka gonna cost me??" and she's like "$644 with water paid for. All you have to worry about is rent, electric, and gas"

So yeah, ummmmmm.... when I woke up from the shock of it all, I snatched that damn pen out of her hand so fast that like 4 of her dreads fell out and I don't even think I've ever signed my name that fast...

It's done!! So my tentative move date is somewhere between March 1-15th.... so I should be moved in and comfy by the time the blogger reunion rolls around... teehee.. the excitement of both my move and the reunion is making my arm twitch lol...

And shit! That was only Friday! So you know that set the tone for the rest of the weekend!

I spent some of Saturday with Leroy, and I felt really good and warm... I couldn't help but reminisce on days gone by. We went out to eat and I don't think I've ever eaten like a fatter bitch in front of him than that night lol. "Truth Is" by Fantsia flooded my mind as we kissed and departed, and on my way home, I just sang it and cried a little bit... "Truth is, I never got over you. Truth is, wish I had a new pair of shoes, and when it's all said and done, yes I'm still in love with you...."

Yeah, it was nice to put my "Niggas ain't shit!" attitude on the backburner and show some emotion and vulnerability.. Leroy if you're reading this, you already know...

Anyway, Sunday was cool... I ate ALL DAY! (somebody get me an EPT)... Church was cool. Target was cool. The game was cool. Everything was just cool.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

I guess that's it for me... Shout outs to Darius (hows LA boo?) and Fuzzy (another church boy that I adore)

L8r!

P.S. how bout them Giantz huh? and that damn halftime show was absolutely terrible... ever since Janet flashed her damn titty, the halftime ain't been right.... Thanks Janet. : (

Sorry Darian.....

2008-01-30T13:40:00.000-08:00

But Alabama is for the birds, and I'm ready to go home! I work for a call center for a certain cell phone company (who shall remain nameless) that said to me and a few of my other co-workers, "Look, we're having problems at the Alabama and Kentucky call centers, and we need you guys's help. We'll pay for your flight, hotel, transportation, and dining expenses.... aaaand you'll have a great time in another state, meeting other ***** employees and networking with management in both of those call centers."

So I thought to myself... "hmmm this could be interesting... I could use a work paid vacation, and maybe I'll meet some cute thick country ass corn fed dudes in Alabama plus I might even get some good fried chicken in Kentucky... it sucks up here... ever since the colonel died KFC ain't been right.. so what the hell, right?"

Saturday, after I did dinner with Joseph, I got home and packed a few things in my LV overnight bag and slept... Sunday, I kinda took it easy and finished my packing and relaxed.. Monday, my flight took off at 2, me and a couple coworkers met up at 12 and carpooled so we could save on gas and parking.

The plane ride was nice and smooth... I just chilled, listened to the Clark Sisters and Tye Tribbett and Beyonce while I read the Teen Vougue with Chanel Iman on the cover... I couldn't really sleep because the flight was only 2 hours. When we got to the airport, we took a cab to the hotel (I'm rooming with this guy... let's call him Shaggy)...and that's when all the drama began. There was a total of 11 of us on this trip so before we got our room keys and went to our rooms, we agreed to meet up at 6 to grab a quick bite to eat because we had to work that day from 6 to midnight. So me and shaggy (Shaggy is this other cool gay guy that I work with and since we were both going we decided to room together... BIG EFFIN MISTAKE...) checked into our room where the first problem reared its ugly little head. Instead of 2 twin sized beds, there was only 1 queen sized bed... Now I was pissed, but it was already 5:50 so we had to meet up with our co-workers for a late lunch, so I really didn't have time to queen out like I wanted to...

So, we ate lunch at the in-hotel restaurant and then got in the cab to go to the call center. The Alabama call center was NOTHING like the call center at home... The call center at home is like a mega church to Alabama's store front church if you will... and while my home call center is predominantly afro-american, the Alabama call center is mostly white...uhhh... yeah... no thick dark skin rick ross lookin muhfuckas in this bitch... : (.. Then, our temporary supervisor told us that it was a privilege for us to be there and that if we weren't performing, he would have no problem sending us back home.. the audacity of that fat greasy muhfucka!
We worked til midnight, and by the time I got back to the hotel, I was so spent, pissed, and hungry that I forgot that there was only one bed in my room... there wasn't too much nightlife in the area so Shaggy was home right on time as well... Bed time was ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS... he kept talking and snoring and htting me and shit.... and then this nigga is triflin as hell! There was a ring of dirt around the tub and his draws and shit are fuckin everywhere!

Then if that wasn't enough, when we got ready for work ther cab wasn't there, so we had to walk 3 miles to the call center today.

Needless to say,I contacted my immediate supervisor and told him that I wanted to be flown out on the first thing smoking out of Alabama and I will not be traveling to Kentucky, but I still am demanding my traveling bonus and I want tomorrow off. If my demands are not met, I will be having a beautiful meeting with my associate director upon my return.

My flight is at 11....

2008-01-28T10:32:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys!!! Howzit Goin'? My weekend was absolutely wonderful. It was full of good television, good food, good conversation, and great company.

Friday really began for me when I got off work. I went to the grocery store and got all kinds of snack/junk food and when I got home, I crashed in front of the television and my Wire-A-Thon officially began. The Wire is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! And as Uncle Cocoa alluded to in my previous post, everything is right around the corner. I knew the show was set in Baltimore, but I was still amazed when they talked about Cold Spring Lane, or Eager Street (home of Baltimore Gay pride), or Edmonson Avenue…. All places that I frequent and are familiar with. Never have I watched a show (besides Noah’s Arc) that has evoked every emotion that I have. Happiness, sadness, pride, laughter, etc. And if that isn’t enough to get you hooked, the damn men on this show are FOINE!!! Idris Elba, Wood Harris, Fredro Starr…..WHAT?! You betta ask somebody!

Saturday, I woke up, ate a little bit of Cap’n Crunch, and then it was back to my Wire-A-Thon. I didn’t even finish Season 1, but I will in the near future, because I’m as hooked on the show as the dope fiends on the show are hooked to crack. I’ve even already purchased Season 3 on Ebay, and I’m waiting by the mailbox to get that so I can further get my life. But, even more special than the time I spent in front of the TV, was the time I got to spend with my fellow blogger, mentor, friend, and “big sis”, Joey Bahamas. Now, Joey only lives right up the way from Baltimore’s sister city DC, but every time we set a date or time to hook up, something always came up and we couldn’t meet. Not to mention that me and Joey have been having phone conversation for almost a year now.

So... I called Joey Saturday morning and I just told him that it was about time we hooked up and today should be the day. He so graciously agreed, and we had a dinner date for that night. At this point, I was soooo excited, and I just knew I was in for a kee session. After about a few more hours of the Wire and then a short nap and a shower, it was already 7 and it was time for me to go down to the District!! I got in the Cobalt, and took off down 295 with the Clark Sisters blaring, excited about the evening I was going to have.

As I drove down Joey's block looking at each address number, I was excited when I finally saw his, so I parked around the corner, and called when I was right outside his apartment. When he came out, I was mesmerized by this 6'1, caramel complected, Bahamian (pronounced Ba hay me an *no shade*) GOD that was standing before me lol. We stepped back in his place, and after the brief awkwardness of the first meeting and hug was over, I took in my surroundings. I thought to myself "this guy's got some taste". Now mind you, as I said before, me and Joey for almost a year now, so I knew the guy was fly, but it's nothing like seeing it for yourself, you know? JB gave me a quick tour of his place and gave me a brief rundown of his future plans for his cute lil eclectic pad, and then we suited up and took to the street.

As we walked the streets and the crosswalks, I was really amazed at how quiet and clean the city actually was. I think my view of city life has been jaded because of Baltimore and too many episodes of the Wire. There were no helicoptors or 5-0 lurking in unmarked cars or blue police lights at every corner (whatchu know about that Mr. Jones?? lol). I made this comment to Joey and he replied that his neighborhood was a "white lady neighborhood". I knew from that point we were gonna have a great night. As we walked some more, I was just glad to get some of that DC brisk air in my lungs and some witty conversation in my ear. We just giggled and laughed like we were in the 3rd grade again as we talked shit about any and everything we wanted.

Soon enough, we were there... this cute little artsy restaurant called Logan Tavern. I have never been to Logan Tavern before, but I will most definitely be going back and am seriously considering having my birthday party there. When we first got there, I was happy for a little heat, and me and JB just enjoyed each others company while we waited....btw the 25 minute wait turned into almost an hour wait, and we were 2 hungry bitches, so uhh...yeah you know what was next... But before things got nasty, we were seated in a quaint little booth, and as I surveyed the menu, I was just so thrilled at how many options there werre to choose from. They had everything from meatloaf to grilled fish, and I was just too ecstatic. I ordered buffalo wings and shrimp and crab mac and cheese (as an appetizer), then came the salad (that I didn't touch), then came the entree of country fried chicken and garlic mashed potatoes and gravy (that didn't even stand a chance), and then for dessert we shared an apple crisp with vanilla ice cream, all the while guzzling gallons of Ginger-Ale....just shameful... A bitch had to be rolled out of that restaurant like Violet Beauregard from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory...

During dinner, we talked about everything from boys, to blogs, to homosexual/drag Disney villains(lol), to Fantasia, to Carrie Underwood (bitch Jesus doesn't have a license, so how the hell is he gonna take the wheel??), to knockin bitches off their bikes (sorry JB, I had to do it), to coming out, to life in the Carribean, to food, to SeX, to just life in general, and the whole while, I just cheesed from ear to ear.

As we suited up again and were on our way out of the restaurant, I was kinda sad that the evening was coming to a close and I wished that we could do it all over again (partly because I wished I could eat again and partly because I didn't want to stop hangin' out with my Joey). As we walked I just couldn't stop laughing at his stories about these crazy Etheopian boys trying it with his mother and his trifling ass roommate, and before I knew it, I was already back to my car... we hugged and took quick picture for the blog and for our personal memories, and I was on my way, content and satisfied at the evening I had just had the pleasure of partaking in. So content and satisfied, that I stopped and bought a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream from Ben and Jerry's and ate that and any remnants left over from dinner as I watched a couple more episodes from the Wire...(don't judge me, I am with child)

Sunday was also a great surprise!! I woke up to more Cap'n Crunch and Wire, when I began texting my other good friend Uncle Cocoa!!! The texting then upgraded to a phone conversation, and I was super excited to have 2 great meet and greets in 1 weekend. Me and Unc talked about the Baltimore Blogger reunion, and boys, and casual sex, and the older/newer gay generations, and I was eating all that shit up! He is such a nice man (but don't let the niceness fool you...this man reads DOWN and he sounds like a hot NY thug...thats what I'm talking about!!). We had an excellent conversation, and I can just say I'm blessed and honor to be in the company of 2 great men!

After all was said and done, this was a weekend to remember, and hopefully there will be more like this to come! .

As a forecast for the coming week, I'll be in Alabama this entire week and then in Kentucky for the following week...both for work, so I'll be posting from the "Dirty South".... don't be surprised if I come back 15 lbs bigger and with a cute lil southern drawl.!

I love you guys... Peace!

WeekEnd

2008-01-26T08:06:00.000-08:00

Happy Weekend Everybody! This weekend I bought The Wire seasons 1 and 2 so I'll be having a Wire-A-Thon. Look for me Monday! Later gator!

Tattoos, Tattoos, Tattoos

2008-01-23T09:02:00.001-08:00

The post that my Uncle Cocoa posted yesterday on his blog (http://notshady.blogspot.com) really made me smile, and I haven't stopped since. That damn Cocoa, that's my nucca! His picture really inspired me to write about my own tattoos and piercings and I would've posted it sooner, but I was holding out because today is actually the birthday of my first tattoo (my treble cleft)and a week from today will mark the anniversary of my second (my Chinese characters).

Let me first just say that getting tattoos is one of the most fulfilling decisions I've ever made. I LOVE my body art and I hope to keep building on my collection in the years to come.

Now, a lot of people ask me various things about my tats and piercings (i.e., why did you get that?; how much was it?; ooooh did it hurt?; etc.) and I'm here to answer all of that for you. Let me just start with a little bit of education though...

Tattoos are made by a needle or multiple needles penetrating your epidermis and planting ink into your dermis... that pretty much means the ink is not going anywhere. That also means since it's going so deep into the layers of your skin, it's no joy ride on the pain side.

Getting a tat usually starts off with you picking a design, graphic, etc of what you want (i.e. a star, pookie's name, a cross) and these designs can be anywhere: the internet, a drawing, in your head. Now I know everybody has seen those tattoos that are just like wtf?! Why would she get that tattoed on her? What is she going to tel her grandkids? Folks, just be wise in your tattoo choices... if you don't plan on being in the House of Whatever, don't get it tattoed on you...

Then comes step 2, picking the place you want it. Theres the arm, leg, chest, and the ever popular lower back. Now of course different places wield different levels of pain, but it's all good.

Step 3 is finding out who's gonna do the honors and finding the venue you want to have your PERMANENT piece of art done (parlor, your house, tattoo party, 7-11). THIS IS A CRUCIAL STEP... Do your research. If you've heard that the person that is doing your tattoo or the place that you're getting it done at is nasty, please don't go because it's probably true. Last thing you want are diseases and shit because you wanted a tattoo soooo bad that you couldn't make sure that the place is clean.... Also, another big thing is, find out if the artist has tattooed and is comfortable with tattooing people of color. This may sound minute, but its big, especially if you're getting a color piece done. Certain colors don't look good/show up on darker skinned people. Take my star piece for example: that tattoo is emerald green and turqoise, but if your just glancing at it, it looks dark blue and light blue... make sure that the colors you decide to use are going to look good on you(cuz uhhh... newsflash... it's permanent)

Step 4 is HAVE FUN! ummm... this is your body we're talking about! Yes, the tattoo is gonna hurt.... like hell... but it all depends on 3 things: where you're getting it, the size, and your pain threshold... Certain people say different things about the feeling. Some say it tickles, some say it itches, some say it's an annoying sensation; I say it hurts...but is the pain worth it? Absolutely, and that's evident in me still wanting more... But anyway, take a magazine, your iPod, your best friend... all of the above make the tattoo go faster and take your mind off the pain...

Last, but most certainly not least, please take care of your investment. Depending on the size/detail of your tat, it can be a pricy lil endeavor, so take care of it! During that first week, A&D ointment will be your best friend. USE IT! During the initial stages of healing, it's natural for your tattoo to peel, itch and be ugly... just bear with it because it'll be over soon enough....

If you're kinda sorta thinking about getting tat tat tatted up, I hope these little nuggets of info helped.

Now to my tattoos:
My first one was my treble cleft. I got it because I love music... I just love it... I sing, I listen, my family is musical.. it's my first love. It was $60. All black. It took about an hour, and I don't quite remember if it hurt all that bad.

My second was the chinese characters on my back that stand for love, happiness, peace, and blessings. That was also $60. That shit took like only 10 minutes, but it hurt like the dickens :(....

My third and favorite are my stars. It's my favorite because I actually drew this one freehand... this one was $250. It took about 2 hours and I was physically and emotionally drained after it was over lmao.. It hurt pretty bad (especially at the ribs) but it was worth it cuz I was definitely showing it off at beaches, pools, the bedroom, etc...

And my fourth one was just my initials: JS... that was $90 and it took 45 minutes... not too painful.

There will be more to come in the future and I can't wait to share them with you guys, but for now............

That's it for me....
Later gator!

Don't You Hate It When.....

2008-01-21T19:12:00.000-08:00

Don't you hate it when u give up the ass to a nigga (and u already know how I feel about that)that u think is gonna work, but in the end, it doesn't and you feel like a whore?! That's what I'm feeling like right now....

Untitled

2008-01-17T12:52:00.000-08:00

Soooo.... I titled this one "Untitled" because I'm not quite sure what to call it at this time.(by the way this post is going to be explicit and sexual in nature, so those who can't handle that, please don't continue to read).

So anywho, I wrote a post similar to this one about a year ago. I was having some issues with sexual roles, and to be perfectly honest, I still am. Here's my take on sex. On paper, it's great! In my mind, it's great! But, in the bedroom, I don't know how I feel.... Now don't get me wrong, I love sex! I love sensuality, I love touching, feeling, kissing, cuddling, etc., but when I comes to penetration, let's just say the record scratches and the music stops.
Now in my last post, I talked about the same thing. Bottoming is such a chore for me, and I'm not sure I like this chore for which I am not receiving an allowance. Now, I have tried topping before, but I just didn't enjoy it as much. I felt like something was missing.

Bottoming to me is just a whole lot of work that I'm not sure that I really want to put in (lol no pun intended). Ok, not only do bottoms have to make sure their "insides" are clean, which in some cases means not eating the entire day... but we also have psychologically wrap our minds around the fac that someone's penis is going to be in our ass.... it's a lot to handle.

Now I know and can admit to the fact that I'm not the most versed or edjucated in the sex department, but I do know a little somethin somethin, but what I don't understand is, why does there have to be penetration anyway? The thing I love about being gay, is the fact that I don't have to "act straight" or do "straight things". Penetration is such a straight thing to me, so, I don't know why I should take part in it.

Am I totally on this plane by myself??

Clarification.....

2008-01-11T11:07:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!! What's really going on today? It's already Friday and payday has arrived! *Hallelujah!* This week has gone by so fast and as week 2 of the new year comes to a close,I'm laughing at all the New Year's Resolutions that I've already broken. I.E. not cursing (I just like it too much), keeping my car clean (shit is already piling up in Coby), eating healthier (yeah right).... Resolution my ass...

Today was a kinda somber day in my 'hood. Somebody got shot. Now while this may be common place for some (no shade), this is not at all common place for me and my family. In my parents' attempts to shelter me and my siblings, I have always lived in middle-class suburban homes. Soooo you can only imagine my shock when I saw police vans and unmarked cars and yellow police tape everywhere when I tried to roll up in my neighborhood at 12 am... Nobody seems to know what happened, bit all I saw was a red pickup truck with a bullet hole in the windshield, a white sheet, and tons of maylay... not pretty at all... My younger siblings are so scared that they're laying in my bed as Iiep on the floor (how unfair is that? I didn't shoot anybody!)... I'm not too scared.. I think I'm just more amazed that as I stated a minute ago, it's only 2 weels into 08 and crzy shit is already goin down...

I Am Sooooooo Not Dateable

2008-01-08T13:47:00.000-08:00

This blog is going to be all over the damn place, but that's what I love about blogging... you can talk about whatever, but in the end, it all makes sense. This blog is supposed to be about relationships, but if I get off topic for a minute, just keep reading, and I'll bring it back.

First, before I do that though, I just wanted to take the time to say that I am loving being back on the blog scene! You remember back in school when you would take summer vacation and when you came back, you would see all your old friends and see what's changed (joey, steven, norris, cocoa rican, etc.) and you meet all these amazing new people (rocafella 07, mr. jones) and you would just be happy to see what the new year would bring. That's how I feel!

So anyways, back to this relationship business... I feel like I'm too picky and shallow to actually be dateable... lol, I know it sounds crazy, but of course I'm going to clarify! I have come in contact with all your basic types in the past... THE THUG who is usually the cream of the crop when it comes to the fine department, but either lacks common sense or communication skills.
THE BI GUY who doesn't know if he wants you or sister.
THE PLAYA who thinks it's ok to cheat on you because he's just that great
THE PUSSY who in his efforts to please you, loses his spine in the process.

And the list goes on... I just feel like I'm so complex, that I need an equally complex, multi-faceted guy. I need somebody who will balance me out. I need a guy that's masculine, but at the same time in touch with his feminine side. I need a guy who's cool calm, and collected, but at the same time outgoing. I need a who's physically attractive, but at the same time kinda rugged. I need a guy that that's touchy feely, but at the same time someone that will give me my space...

I feel like I need so much, that my ideal man is unrealistic and unattainable... IDK... one day I'll find him, and when I do, what a day of rejoicing that will be!

Tomorrow

2008-01-07T21:47:00.000-08:00

I'm lying in the bed watching an infommercial... I really don't want to watch it, but I'm too lazy to get up and change the channel. My head is spinning and I don't know whether I should thank God for the grace and mercy I get everyday, or, if I should cry in complaint because I'm so confused.

I'm confused, but I'm not quite sure what I'm confused about... maybe that's half of the confusion.

I wish the man of my dreams was lying here next to me, holding me and letting me vent about absolutely nothing.

I wish my best friend was sitting in my bed indian style so we could talk about Beyonce or Victoria Beckham's ELLE cover.

I wish my dad understood the life I'm living so I could talk to him about what I'm going through so he can just relate... and hug me.

To that guy that I hurt:
I'm really sorry that I didn't consider your feelings when I did what I did... I know I can't control your feelings, but I'm sorry that I disregarded how you feel/felt about me. Now you see me as a whore, but I really don't get down like that. I think you kniw that, but you're trying to send me on a vacation on the Guilt Xpress. I'm sorry...

Hmmmmmmmm..... I guess that's it... Tomorrow will be better... yeah, tomorrow...

Happy New Year!!!

2008-01-06T16:30:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone from Jared! God I know it's been forever since my last post (almost a year now), but I'm so glad to be home! I feel like a prodigal son that's returned after a time in the wilderness. I'm expecting a lot of great things this year from me and for me and I absolutely can't wait to share it with you guys! God, writing this brings back so many memories....
I just want to thank every single person that has checked up on me since my MIA status became in effect to the blog scene... Joey, Steven, Trent, Norris...thank you guys... I love you!
I also wanna thank everybody that has flooded my inbox with love, whether it has been on myspace, bgc (yes bitches I am a member), and any other venue that I can be sent messages on... I am overwhelmed that almost a year later people are still asking about me...
As a brief update: I am no longer with Leroy.. long story, but I'm ok and I'm single (praise God). I graduated from high school (again, praise God). I am not in school, but I work for Verizon Wireless and they're gonna pay for me to go to school (praise him)... and im just enjoying life!
I'm so glad to be back!!!! You guys just don't know! I've grown up, loved, learned, and laughed and I can't wait to share my experiences with my online family... Look for the same ol wit and scandalosity (so?! I can make up words) that you always get from "what's the T", and by all means hit me up! And on top of all that, please please please enjoy yourself!
I love you! I love you all! lol
Love,
Jared (the one and mothafu**kin only)

p.s. kid creole, hey boo! Darian, whatchu up to? Shawn, Fuzzy, are y'all still like my fave power couple? Y'all betta be! Cocoa Rican? my hubby... nuff said.. Charles, r u still making hisstory? I always liked you.
Peace my nigs!

I Was Addicted To It, But I Didn't Know It Was Toxic

2007-03-22T08:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, was a good day for me surprisingly enough...that is until I went to Popeye's. Now first let me say, I LOVE POPEYE'S!!!!! I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!!!!!! I was so excited when I got a coupon book from them, I didn't know what to do. So anyways, I got a coupon for a free 3 piece meal and I hopped on it! I wouldn't dare let it go to waste. So I get to Popeye's (this is at like 3:00 pm mind you) and I order my 3 piece and give the girl the coupon, and get my food, and push. No sooner did I get out of the parking lot did I start destroying what was once a beautiful piece of golden-brown greasy chicken....hmmm.....

At about 7, I was running to the bathroom nonstop doing some very "unlady-like" things, which I won't go into. I am convinced that I have food poisoning....that DAMN POPEYE'S....They are gonna pay for this. You BETTER believe that when I feel like getting up long enough to do anything besides use the bathroom, I am calling their 1800 number to complain. Now of course all they're gonna do is send me a letter of apology, and of course some more coupons (which would just start the whole cycle over again) but I just won't go to that one next time lol!

How about that American Idol last night?! Hmm....it seems like Sanjaya's little rocked out performance kept him above par, and he's on for another week. Oh yeah and at Cocoa Rican..I will not take the bait on that little snide remark you left on my last post....I know Sanjaya's beautiful, but American Idol is not a beauty pageant now is it? If that was the case, Lakisha, Melinda, and Chris would be gone and the very gorgeous Stephanie would still be gracing my television with her well permed hair! But yeah, Sanjaya is hot. We all know it. We all want him...well maybe not as much as you, cuz I don't turn the TV down and jack off when I see him. American Idol is a family show!!!!

Joey B...get in contact with me...we need to paint the town pink on my birthday you hear?! (j_shanlin@yahoo.com)!

Later people,
I love you...time to get back to my post, which at the current time is leaning over the toilet! Muah!

Morgan State University

2007-03-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

I went to Morgan State University today to pay my application fee and speak with an admissions advisor. I was really excited because, despite all of these acceptance letters that I'm getting, Morgan is really want to go. So anyway, I was talking to Mrs. Donovan and she was telling me about how their school was one of the premier schools in Maryland because their computer labs were super updated, their dorms were spacious, their student-teacher ratio was 17:1, and their cafe was ran by a chef that graduated from Le Cordon Bleu...blah blah blah...

Ok so why did I see my friend Amanda in the admissions lobby withdrawing herself from Morgan? First of all, I haven't seen her since last year's graduation, and I didn't even know she was going to Morgan...so this was a pleasant surprise. When I asked her what she was doing, and she told me that she was withdrawing herself, I was even more surprised at her reason...and this surprise wasn't pleasant.

She said that the American Red Cross came to Morgan last week and did a blood drive, and she was on the committee. She said that one of the representatives from the Red Cross said that they never wanted to come back to Morgan because out of all of the people that signed up to give blood, 36% of them tested positive for HIV....and more than half of the people that signed up were male....As Maya from Girlfriends would say..."OH HELL NO!!!!!"

Ok so that's really triflin', but what's more triflin' than that is the fact that I still want to go there LMAO!!!! And anyways, I don't have nothin' to worry about. I'm not gonna be bonin' anybody on campus....I love Leroy too much for that lol...."shameless plug"!

But so anyway, I'ma go now cuz that sorry ass Sanjaya is bout to sing...LATA GIR!!!

Hey Guys

2007-03-19T14:58:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! How's everything?! Let me first just say I have become the master of deleting histories and cookies lol. But anyway, what's goin on? Things on this end of the world are really lookin up! I finally payed that damn $900 cell phone bill, and it's finally starting to hit me that my time in this house is finally coming to a close. While my parents are walking on eggshells and having "nervous breakdowns" about what I'm gonna do once I turn grown and sexy, and I'm laughin' all the way to the graduation stage! But anyways...

Why in the FUCK did this girl yell out faggot in the hallway this morning and get cussed out?! Ok so, school starts at 7:15 so naturally I'm tired. And when I'm tired, I hear things lol, but I KNOW I wasn't hearing shit when I heard faggot just tumble out of her damn mouth! So me being the queeny girl I am in the morning, I turned the hell around and was like, "girl, what you say?" and she was like "I just said faggot, what's the problem, are you one?" I was like "HELL YEAH and you might just get your shit broken off for tryin' it with me hunny!" and then she was like "Yeah, whatever, I'll whoop your ass and then get my brother to whoop your ass!" OOOHHH GIRL WHAT!?!? I was like "Girl, when I fuck you up, it's gonna be really sad, and you can get your damn brother, I don't give a fuck. And when I fight, I don't fight clean, I fight DIRTY. SOOO expect to get cut and tazed...bitch!" By this time, a crowd had ensued, and they was all shocked that it was only 7:20 and somebody had already gotten cussed out....DAMN!!! This is why I don't deal with people...shit. But come June 10, 2007. I will be giving Meade Senior High School the deuces...eternally!

Why the hell am I just now watching I Love New York? Let me tell you, I do not love New York. She looks like a sick drag queen and her makeup is horrible. And did you see her mother?! Damn! She looks like Satan from "The Passion of the Christ"!! But that nig Real...he could get it!!!

If Sanjaya lasts another week, I'll murder myself.

That lady Robin Antin from that PussyCat Dolls show is FRESH out of the Botox Factory!

I'm done now I think, but I just want to let you guys know that when I come back blogging on the regular tip, I am re-vamping this whole shit. Be prepared to see Jared in rare form!

Peace and Hair Grease!

It's Friday

2007-03-16T19:35:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,
It's Friday, and as another week comes to a close, I look back on my 17th year of life in bittersweetness. I wish that life didn't have to be like this, but it is what it is.

But anyway, enough of that foolishness. I got accepted to Coppin State University today!!! I'm like super ecstatic!!! I don't even know what else to say today! Except, I'm doing really well. My parents are really excited that I'm getting into all of these schools. We're kinda sorta making ground.

Hmm...Prom is on its way and I'm super excited about it!!!

Oh yeah and Cocoa Rican, you are nasty as hell for that comment you left on my last post lol. I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one that uses KY heating gel!!! Let me know when you get to the district!!!

HEY!!!!

2007-03-14T19:34:00.000-07:00

Hey you guys! I guess I'm doing alright considering the circumstances. I'm sitting here at the computer at home and I'm supposed to be writing my 1000 word verisimilitude (look it up hoes) on the 1994 Rwandan genocide that killed more that half a million people, when in all actuality I'm writing a post..tahdah bitches! I told you I wouldn't be a stranger.

Anyways, I just got done watching American Idol and the good news is, I'll get to see more of my little bottom boyfriend Sanjaya next week!!! It's gotta be really depressing to the contestants with talent to see that some kid with no talent is cleaning up week after week. Oh well, I enjoy seeing him.

In other t, I just applied to Clark Atlanta University...Gay Black Mecca here I come lol.

I know you guys are all dying to find out what's going on with the parents...hmm, what can I say? They have turned my whole sexual orientation thing into a "supernatural issue"... Apparantly, my "homoness" is the devil's tool to destroy my entire family....hypocrites....they didn't say that to Uncle Rico (hey Uncle Rico gir!). But anyway, I'm still left high and dry with a wet unemployed pussy, and I'm in the house everyday watching reruns of Girlfriends and that sick PussyCat Dolls show. Pray for me girls, I'm gonna need it.

I miss you guys...hey Trent, I love you. Steven, thank you for not returning my damn emails lol. Joey...hey gir, muah! Cocoa Rican, HEEEEEYY!!!!

Friday Finale...Sort of

2007-03-09T08:38:00.000-08:00

Ok so, I usually write my blogs at work, and ever since this whole dramatic season of my life came about, my job has been in jeopardy. Well, it's finally come to an end lol. My parents are making me quit my job at the very prestigious State Farm Insurance company, because they have "trust issues". Therefore, this might (I said MIGHT) be my last post for a little while...Or at least until I figure out how I'm gonna post regularly. Yes, I have a computer at home, but I'm not gonna even attempt to write my "GAY BLOG" in my Christian home...that's all I need, for my parents to find my blog lol...wouldn't that be some shit?! That being said, I won't have my StateFarm email address anymore, so if you want any contact with me, you'll have to email me at j_shanlin@yahoo.com. (j underscore shanlin @ yahoo.com). But it's ok. I'm not gonna let you guys down, and more than that, I'm not gonna let myself down. This blog has been one of the best things that ever happened to me. It has been an outlet that has kept me sane in insane circumstances. And not only that, I have come in contact with some awesome people and I have found out what it means to be a true "Power Gay" lol. Anywho, this is not a sad post at all, cuz as I've said, I SHALL find a way to still post on here...I already have some ideas. So don't delete me out of your favorites yet lol.

So anyway, now that that's out of the way, let's talk about American Idol last night! WTF is going on?! First of all, my fiance' Jared Cotter got cut...I'm ok though. At least he'll be able to spend time with me at home now! But we all know the real nail biter was between the "Sexy non-singin Sanjaya" and the "Singin', not so sexy Sundance". I just KNEW with all my heart that Sanjaya (as cute as he may be) was going home. NOT SO!! It was shocking, but hey I don't care. Just as long as Melinda or Lakisha don't get sent off.

Anyways, I think that's it for right now anyway. If anything comes up during the day, I'll write again, but until next time, love happiness peace and blessings!!!!! Love Jared!

Tee-Hee....Oops

2007-03-06T08:44:00.000-08:00

Ummm..yea, yesterday I said that I got my phone taken away Saturday, but in all reality, I should've probably got it taken away sooner than that lol. Yesterday when I got off of work I got home and my dad was sitting on the loveseat in the living room with the phone bill in his hand and he looked pissed!!! I was like "OH SHIT here we go!" So I didn't even get in the door good before he was like, "Do you know how much the phone bill is for the last 2 months?" and I was like "No". I knew I had went over, because of the hours I had spent talking to Leroy during on-peak hours lol. But....I had no idea I had went over $900 worth!!! Now, I should've known that this was on the horizon, because Leroy told me last week that his bill was $1000 and I was thinkin' "Bitch, who in the hell are you talking to that much that your bill is $1000?"..LOL, Now I know! I liked at the call records and the majority of the calls were to or from him! I'm not mad though, I guess I'll just have pay up. As much as I wanted to be serious, I couldn't, I just laughed!! It was hilarious to me that my dad was so mad over a bill that he didn't have to pay for! I swear that man is gonna give himself a heart attack! Oh yea, still hasn't found his keys!! teehee!!

In other T, I GOT ACCEPTED TO UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND EASTERN SHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That acceptance letter is my 1-way ticket out of my house! Y'all just don't understand how elated I am! And guess what...my parents still don't know. I didn't want to tell them while there was still tension between us. I'll tell them when we are back on the up and up. So yeah, when I opened that letter and read its contents, I jumped up and down on my bed, and queened out to Beautifal Liar and Get It Out Me, and anything else my iPod threw at me!!! I've kinda given up hope that FIT will send me a letter with a similar message, but if it does come, I'll be queenin out again!

2 days and 3 months people!
Hola to my new readers...I love you people!

Queer Kid, That Dude Right There, Joey, Trent....hey gir!

My Weekend....

2007-03-05T08:36:00.000-08:00

By the tone of the post I wrote Friday, you guys could probably tell that I was in an upbeat mood. And I was. But not so when I got home!!! I don't know, something just made me upset when I crossed the line from outside world, to my house. I was SOOO depressed all Friday. I texted Leroy and told him to have a good day at work, and then I turned my phone off for the rest of the night. I just laid in my bed in complete silence, all night. No iPod, no TV, no books, just silence. I didn't cry, I didn't think, I didn't sing, I didn't laugh, I just laid there. My mom came in my room a few times to ask me if I was hungry, and to make sure I didn't kill myself. But I uttered not a word.

It wasn't until Saturday morning at around 10 am that I said to myself, "Jared, what the hell is wrong with you? Get the hell up and do something with yourself. You're hungry and frankly sweetheart, you need to take a shower. Now don't let me have to ask twice!" So...I got up, washed my ass, put on some "play clothes" and finished reading Waiting To Exhale by Terry McMillan (great book by the way). I called Queer Kid, and we talked for a couple hours. I talked to Leroy for a couple hours. I even showed my face to the family and made a sandwich! It was boring around the house though. There wasn't shit to do, so I decided to play my brother in a little Street Vol. 3 on Playstation 2 and show him who was the boss. That got a little addictive though, and when I finally looked at the clock it was like 9:30. I called Leroy and had him on the Bluetooth while I played Playstation. That's when my good day came to an end. My dad came in my room and was like, "What are you doing?" So I was like "Playin' video games." So then he was like "Give me your phone."...that was SOO unexpected, so I just gave it to him. In retrospect, he didn't buy me that phone and I pay my own bill, so I shouldn't have given it to him...too late now I guess. But anyway, I was like "Leroy, I gotta go, I'll call you back later" and then I hung up and gave my dad my phone. I was SOO pissed that I just unplugged the Playstation and went to sleep in my clothes. As I tried to get some sleep, I said to myself "Jared, you need to get out of this house. I don't know how, but bitch you need to think of somethin'. Your parents are crazy as hell, and another thing--" That's when my dad came back in the room and was like "I just talked to that Leroy Johnson person and I told him that if he ever had conversation with you, I will have him arrested"....WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!???? So that's when I was back to my depression induced stupor. I was so upset. I didn't cry though.

So then I woke up Sunday morning, actually feeling refreshed. As I was getting dressed for church, I put on my iPod and I was ROCKIN' in my pink boxer briefs, you hear me?! But then Rainy Dayz by Ja Rule ft. Mary J. Blige came on and I just broke the hell down. Like I cried. At first it was just one of those 2 tear cries, but then it turned into an all out boohoo, snot runnin', loud, eyes red and puffy, funeral cries. I was SO defeated. My mom came in and saw me like that and attempted to hug me, but I would not be consoled. I was thinkin' "BITCH you're the one that put me in this predicament!" But I just let her do the mother thing, and tried to get myself together before I had to go to church. I was fine on the way there, and fine on the walk into the church, but then I broke down yet again, as soon as I got in there. Oh Lord, big mistake....all the church members wanted to hug me and tell me that it was ok...umm..no bitch, it's not! So anyways, as church progressed, I got better and I slickly got out of church and called Leroy, and told him what happened, and that I loved him, and I would call him back as soon as shit cleared up.....COMMERCIAL BREAK: I love you Leroy.....Ok so anyway yeah, church let out and I went home and got BACK in the bed and the next time I saw the light of day was this morning...so umm....ta da!!! Here I am, lol.

So anyway, my parents have blown me to the point of no return andI don't know what I'm gonna do about my situation as of yet....but for Cocoa Rican's sake and for my own, I'm still smilin'! On a lighter note, one of my best friends, Valarie, saw Paris Bennett (American Idol Season 5) in concert on Saturday, and she thought about me! She not only got Paris's autograph for me, but she called me and put Paris on the phone!!! Let me just say, I am a star-struck BIATCH!!!! This is how our conversation went:

"Hi Jared"
"Oh my God, Paris I LOVE you to pieces! I can't believe I'm talking to you!"
"Thank you so much"
Then she put Valarie back on the phone...I was like, "Bitch, that's all I get?" But I am grateful nonetheless! Thanks a million Valarie..love you lots gir!

Anyway let me go, before I start cryin again and my tears get in my keyboard and short circuit the whole damn computer lol!!!! Just kidding, have a lovely Monday.

LOL...oh yeah, my dad still hasn't found his keys!! hahahaha what a loser! lol.

Just for Cocoa Rican

2007-03-02T12:08:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. Rican,
I read your comment in regards to my BALLIN post. You said "Yeah... we like to see you smilin'... come to think of it it's the first time we've seen you smile - PERIOD!". I was kinda disappointed in myself, because I don't want to portray myself as this mean, world-hating bottom. So, as I sometimes do, I went back through my archives and found pictures of me smiling!!! I am such a happy go lucky person and I want that to be prevalent over my stupid drama. So here are the links to those posts in which I am smiling, just for you pa!!!!!

Thanks for supporting my blog every day Mr. Rican

Love, Jared!!! xoxoxo

Random Fridays

2007-03-02T08:23:00.000-08:00

I am so excited about the forth-coming weekend. This week just sped past me. It seems like just yesterday, I was packing up my shit and was on my way out! Well, if you've been reading my previous posts, you'll know that things have gotten a little better, and I'm almost out of the tunnel, and into the LIGHT!!! Anyways, I'm SOOO over that, so kick back, relax, and enjoy my random ass for a few minutes.

So I had a "sitcom-y" experience today. I guess that's not uncommon for me, but anyway. So, there's this one new guy that is in 2 of my classes, and I swore he had been staring at me for the last couple days, but whenever I looked at him he would turn away. I had one word for him: TRADE! So there's this guy named Marvin that has been hitting on me all year, but he always gets the same answer time after time, so I don't understand why he just doesn't take the "NO, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" and just leave me the hell alone. Well I guess Mr. Trade New Guy took notice of this everyday occurrence and decided to be a hero today. Marvin, came in for his usual "hey, when are you gonna let me show you how a real man takes care of his business?" and that's when Mr. Trade New Guy came around the corner and put his arm around my shoulder and said "When his boyfriend says so, and since I'm not gonna say so, you might as well get out of here." Marvin got the hell out of my face and that just left me and Mr. Trade New Guy. I thanked him, but I guess he was upset when I walked away. What was left to say?! I have a boyfriend, I love my Leroy, yep yep I love you boy! Hopefully, Marvin won't be around much anymore.
I am LIVING for my cousin Beyonce's new videos for Beautiful Liar and Upgrade U!!! She doesn't have to take a rest until she feels like it, cuz I don't get tired of seeing her!
I want another tattoo
That girl Lakiesha Jones on American Idol lives in Ft. Meade which is 5 minutes away from me!
I miss Noah's Arc!!!!!!!!!
I love my mother Fantasia and the fact that she's going to be on Broadway, but umm ::cough:: I know that I can't be the only one concerned about her acting skills. I mean did you see her Lifetime movie?! NO SHADE though!
2 months and 7 days until my B'Day!!!
I'm done for right now. Enjoy your weekends! Love, happiness, peace, and blessings!!!

BALLIN'!!!!

2007-03-01T11:30:00.000-08:00

We stay high, no lie, you want it, BALLIN!!!!! I don't know why, but that just came to mind! I actually don't care for that song, but it's one of those songs that you hear from people around the way, your teachers, even your little 8 year old sister! But anyways...that has nothing to do with what I wanted to talk about today, hell, I don't know what I want to talk about today. Just bear with my randomness for a moment and something will come to me!

Both of my tattoos are itching and I ran out of that ointmen--

Hey wait! I just thought of something!! Things at the home-front are getting a little better. I actually had a decent conversation with my parents last night, and it didn't involve cursing, crying, kick-out threats, or...crying! Basically, they had stupid straight people questions and then my dad had a question that pissed me off, but I'll get to that in a minute. But yeah, so they were like: "Why are you gay?", and "Was it something that we did to make you like this?", "Are you happy?". I was totally looking at them like they were full of shit, because last year I wrote about my parents having their speculations about me being gay and sent me to the "spectacular" Richard Cohen...."counselor extraodinaire". Hmm...that didn't last long. But I digress. Back to the question my dad asked. He pulled me to the side because he "didn't want to disappoint my mom". He was like, "I know you're probably having sex, but are you letting whoever it is screw you?" I was like TOTALLY DUMBFOUNDED. That was super embarrassing. I didn't know what to say! So I simply told him no and that was the end of that. As it stands right now, I probably won't get kicked out, (and should've never been nervous and anxious enough to believe that I ever would be) but I have to be on my Ps and Qs for the next 2 months and 8 days!...

Which brings me to my next point. My BIRTHDAY! That big 1-8! I am super excited about it, but I don't know what I want to do. But what I DO know is, if me and Leroy are still together...hmm, trust and believe! "Meet me in my room, it's goin' DOWN!!!" You know what I'm just gonna end this post right now cuz 1) I'm gettin' hot and bothered, and 2) I gotta keep some random shit in the air for tomorrow's random Friday...duh.

BALLIN!!!

See you guys tomorrow...xoxoxo

Karma Is A....Well, You Know

2007-02-28T08:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I haven't been kicked out yet, but I suppose you could say that my "Kick-Out Status" is still PENDING. But, my friends, there is light at the end of the tunnel, because my very good friend Karma and I had a conversation last night. I told her about my situation and she told me that it would be taken care of. Lo and behold, this morning I heard frantic shuffling in the house and it turns out....ha!!!!...teehee!!..you're gonna love this!...My dad lost his keys!!! Now, to outsiders, that may seem like nothing, but you haven't seen my dad's keychain. He has more keys than a damn janitor! It's like those keys are his life, and I have NEVER in my 17 short years ever see him lose them. Oh well, hope he had a spare car key, cuz I don't know how he got to work. Hmm...just when I start to doubt the principle of the things that you do coming back around and biting you in the ass, this amazing "kismetic" universe shows just who's in control once again.

I thank all of you for your support! I just KNEW I could count on my "blogger family" as Cocoa Rican (yeah I found out how to do one-word link lol) so wittily put it. I count this whole situation as a learning experience, and I've already looked back on it, and laughed.

Ok so, You guys KNOW I couldn't leave you without some witty, dark, and crude humor so here goes!!! I once again found myself in the assitant principal's office this morning ::SURPRISE!!!!:: I'm starting to not like all these excursions to his office, but hell, what can I do? So basically, it was one of those "you're not in trouble, but..." conversations. He basically wanted to tell me that he noticed a change in me and he didn't think that it was one for the best. Of course he was saying this stuff as politically as he possibly could as not to brush me the wrong way, and then have me break his neck and leave him for dead in his office. What was supposed to be inspirational, actually turned out to be boring and slow, and eventually I was just sitting there watching him as he talked about absolutely nothing. That is until he hit the point of the inevitably clear "sexual orientation" issue.

He was like, "You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but are you something other than heterosexual?" I was like "Ummm... 'scuse me but what does that have to do with anything that we're talking about?" So then he was like "Well one of your teachers seems to believe that you're skipping her class to go have sex. Now, I know that it's normal for 17 year olds to have sex, but if you're really doing that, it can wait until 10:20 when you get out of school...blah blah blah." I was like "I'm not having sex, so if there's nothing else, I will not be late to school anymore, nor will I skip class to "go have sex". He wasn't satisfied, but what else was there to be said??? On my way out of the office, the all familiar tune from Mr. Chris Bridges came into my head "My business my businass, stay the F**K up out my businass, cuz these bitches all up in my s**t and it's my business, my businass, stay the F**K up out my businass, cuz it's mine all mine!!"

Hmm..as much as I wanted to be offended by his petty questioning, I just couldn't be. It seems like there are so much more I could be worried about like, going to work and getting paid, or wondering where I'm gonna go if I do in fact get kicked out of my house, or ::teehee:: laughing at my dad cuz that bastard lost his keys!!!! LMAO!!! You know I couldn't resist. And...out of all of this....look at my face! I am NOT FAZED!!!!!

If Jesus Walks With Kanye, Why Isn't He Walking With Me?

2007-02-27T12:26:00.000-08:00

Ok so, yeah umm..my mind is kinda rattled today. Sunday, my parents ransacked my room while I wasn't in the house and "found" the following things:

My Noah's Arc first season DVDs
My vibrator (Victor)
My Click Magazines
An email to an ex-friend explaining how upset with her I was that she betrayed me because I was gay.

Yeah so these items answered any questions that my parents would've ever had that I was a full blown homosexual...To say I'm embarrassed is an understatement. So as all Republicans would do if they found out that any of their family members were gay, they kicked me out! Luckily, though by some "divine intervention" or the lack thereof, I didn't get kicked out yet. My parents are still deciding on where if anywhere they want to send me for my "wrongdoings"...of course all the while they are spouting out "I Love You" and "You can come back when you change your mind." Yeah....right. I'm just glad they have no clue about my blog, because as it stands they don't know Jared, they know "Aaron", my alter-ego who shows himself at home and at church. (LOL, you know I only got an alter-ego when Beyonce' said she had one. Before then, I woulda thought the idea of that was just down right crazy!!) And yeah, if they were to read my blog, they wouldn't even let me get out of the house, I'd be BURNED AT THE STAKE at the altar in church while the deacons and ushers looked on in "dignified justification".

So, my question is, if Jesus can walk with Kanye (a nasty spoiled non-award winning tantrum having ass brat) why can't he walk with Jared too(a sexy, stylish, sometimes tantrum having, homo)?????

But anyway, 2 months and 10 days until I am considered an adult, and I am let loose on the world. If I am kicked out, I will NOT let it break me. You all will see me rise to the occasion and kick ass in true Jared form. If you pray, think of me, and ask God why he's letting people who are supposed to love him so much give their offspring over to the dogs!!! I ask him everyday. Oh yea and pray for Darian (http://loldarian.blogspot.com), he and his family are mourning the loss of one of his 18 year old family members who was shot and killed this past weekend. It almost makes me not want to complain, just because some people my age aren't even alive to be kicked out of their house!!

Oh yea and can somebody in this big blog world PLEASE tell me how to make a one-word link, I hate having to type the whole address. Oh yea my big sister Jennifer won her first Oscar. My parents had a party for her, but I was to busy packing all my clothes to get out of my house, so sorry Jen, but I'm glad you won lol.

Random Fridays

2007-02-23T08:56:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone...it is Friday yet again. This week has been pretty good for me, but I don't think anybody in the world is ready for the weekend to come more than I do. I was gonna write a blog today about a certain blogger, but I'm not gonna do it, and plus I love him so I wouldn't throw shade at him even though he did it to me lol!!!! So anyways...here goes.

My damn job is getting on my NERVES!!!! My boss is trying a new program and he's giving me more work to do. As if I don't have enough already. I tell ya, there are not enough hours in a day!! Well yeah there are, because if we had more, I'd probably be spending them sleeping.
The wind was blowing so hard here in Maryland, that signs were being bent over and shit! What is that?!
My little brother plays JV basketball at his school. His team's been undefeated all season and today is his championship game. Aaaahh. I remember those days!
I am SOOO sick of those people that are saying that Fantasia's self-titled album that came out at the end of last year was over-produced. I heard that on the radio. I was like uhhh...so not true. That album was SOOOO clean, and I love it!!
I just got cussed out by a client....oh well. Gotta keep it professional.
Umm...I am not playin' witchall when I say do not get ice at fast food restaurants. Studies have proven that the water that is used to make the ice has more Hepatitis and E.Coli than the toilets. Plus, it was on Oprah, and you know if Oprah says no, you just shouldn't do it. When I go to fast-food restaurants, I seriously get no ice in my drinks!
Not to be vain, but when I got out of the car today and saw my ass in the reflection, I was like DAMN!!! Thank God for H&M jeans.
Oh yeah, I had a HUGE crush on this guy that went to my school last year, and he graduated. He was so FINE and like I got weak in the knees when he would walk by. But he was so damn conceited all the time. He just KNEW he was the shit. How about I saw him doing valet parking in the movies! HA! what a joke!
Darian posted something about the male version of the AKA fraternity. It was like super interesting to me! Check it out (http://loldarian.blogspot.com). It's hot!
Ever since I had to read William Shakespeare's Hamlet for 1st semester English, I've been on this big Shakespeare trip. I'm reading Othello, but it's really not as interesting as the Sparknotes make it out to be.
FAFSA is such a blower. Them people are not trying to give me anything. I'm so making my own scholarship fund!

Crackin Up Laughin'

2007-02-22T08:47:00.002-08:00

You guys had me CRACKIN up this morning when I read your comments on yesterday's post. Oh yeah, and in reference to Mr. Cocoa Rican's (http://notshady.blogspot.com/) comment: "Like riding a bike, it'll take time and falling off (or in your case) getting impaled, can be painful at first."...Yeah, umm....I still can't ride a 2-wheeler, so uh, is that an indication of what lies ahead lol?! I have taken you guys's advice to heart, and I'm confident that when it does happen, it'll be something remarkable...to say the least. Oh yeah and to that anonymous person who left that comment talkin' bout some "you already got burned by one friend"...I have an idea on who you are, but I won't put you out there, just because that would be ignorant, wouldn't it?! hmm.

So besides all that, Leroy had a good laugh that post, and he assured me that I didn't owe him anything, and that if I didn't want to do it, I didn't have to.

Another thing that had me crackin' up laughin was this little girl that tried to say I sexually harrassed her. This was the little girl that stole my cell phone a couple weeks ago on the 6th...I wrote about her on my Random Tuesday post (http://whatsthet.blogspot.com/2007/02/random-tuesday.html). So, I get called to the office and the secretary's like, "Ms. Leatherbury (the assistant principal) will see you in just a minute, please sit down." So I'm like...oh damn what is going on. I NEVER get in trouble, and of course by this time I forgot I called that girl a slut and a whore and a bitch and all that other stuff. So then I go into the office and that girl is in there, and I was like oh shit here we go. So basically the principal dogged me out for calling that girl names and if I said anything else to her in that nature, sexual harrassment charges would be pressed. Ok whatever girl, don't use those damn scare tactics with me, I know better. Now, being the person I am, I didn't even bring the cell phone bandit incident up. I just resolved within myself to make her life hell!!! She ain't NEVA seen the fire like the one I'ma cause!!!

In other T, I was looking at the results of my SAT that I took on January 27th and I got a 1663. I was so mad at first cuz I was like FUCK the SAT I don't give a shit about that test anyway, but then my guidance counselor told me that that was a great score, so I was like, "Oh ok nevermind then!...my bad." So anyway, just wish me luck on that FIT acceptance letter, I've been calling there like CRAZY!!!

I guess that's it for me today..Peace and Love!!!

A Sign From God?

2007-02-21T09:06:00.000-08:00

[This blog is going to be explicit, sorry]. Ok so, I'm going to give you some history. I am a self-proclaimed bottom. I don't know why. Maybe because my first boyfriend/sexual experience was with a top, and it was just comfortable for me. My first sexual experience was with my last boyfriend, James, who was nicknamed Gary in my previous posts that involved him. So, yea umm....Me and James tried the penetration thing once...yea...not great! He wasn't big at all so I wasn't disappointed, because in the end it was going to have to go inside of me anyway. But it just felt like I was taking a shit the whole time, and needless to say, I wasn't too giddy to do it again. So we never did, and anyways soon after that he cheated on me with my ex-friend Steven. I digress, though.

So I'm with this new guy now-who I haven't said much about on here just because it's just too risky-and we've been dating for about a month now. Prior to me dating him, I bought myself a 6" vibrator (his name is Victor) because I knew the day would come where I would once again be faced with a decision to let my significant other put his penis in my ass, and I wanted to be prepared. I was satisfied with how the whole vibrator thing was working out...that is until I met my current boyfriend. His penis is like HUGE! Not only is it long but it is SO thick. I swear it growled at me when I first saw it.

A couple of weekends ago, me and my boyfriend (let's call him Leroy) tried to have sex and as soon as he put it in I was like "LEROY TAKE IT OUT!!!!!!!". As embarrassed as I was, I wasn't about to sit up there and pretend that it was the most delightful thing in the world. I was so disappointed in myself because I was supposed to be "SUPER BOTTOM" and plus, with all my experience with Victor, I thought I was ready for the world. Now I feel bad because, I feel like I kinda owe it to Leroy to do what pleases him. I don't know, maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but I really need advice. Is this a sign from God that maybe I need to trade in my "hey gir" for "wassup niucca" and my snug fitting United Colors of Benetton jeans for their extremely baggy Roca Wear cousins???? HA yeah right! Umm...if anyone has any advice on what I should do about this PLEASE let me know lol...Here's some of the things I've heard...

BREATHE
Lay on your stomach
Loosen up before you begin
Make your partner eat you out for 40 minutes (lol)
Pray....

The T On My Weekend!

2007-02-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

What's Up Kids!! Hope the weekend was as delicious as mine!! First of all, before I even get started, what's the T on Britney Spears cutting all her hair off? I was like girl, what are you doin with your life?? Now I am not one to judge, but DAMN! What was she thinking???!!!

Anyways....Ok so I also want to advise my brothers and sisters, never go out with someone you met on Myspace. I've already warned you. My best friend Kordale B thought he was doing something when he told me that he had met this "perfect guy" on that devil site, and I was not EVEN impressed. We all met at the mall, and he was kinda weird. To say he was a few fries short of a happy meal is an understatement. Sorry Kordale, maybe you'll take my advice and leave those crazy Myspace people alone, and in the meantime, get the shirt that says "You Looked Better on Myspace".

In other T, I was pleasantly surprised to see my big sister Jennifer on the cover of Vogue! She looks absolutely GORGEOUS!!! It's really amazing to see an African American on the cover of a magazine that stands for an industry that is so "whites only". I also saw her on the cover of Essence this weekend!

On Friday, I talked about my co-worker who wanted me to mentor her nephew, Matthew. I figured it was going to happen, but I didn't think that It woulda happened so soon! On Friday, I gave her my number to give to him and he called me Friday night. We had a good conversation, actually. We talked about boys of course and then we got into some deeper issues like what made him come out, and his sexual history. He's a very interesting kid, and we have a "date" on Tuesday, so I'll keep you posted about that.

I think that's it for me today, so until tomorrow, peace and blessings!

I'm Back!

2007-02-13T07:36:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! Sorry about the brief unannounced sabbatical I took, but it was well spent. I got my head together and I actually got some well needed rest! It's snowing here in Baltimore, and it is nice to see the roads clear for once. Everybody's laid back and bundled up and it's actually kind of romantic. I haven't been up to much lately. Chillin' has been on my agenda for the last few days, and I have met that goal faithfully.

I think it was Friday that I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died....umm....yeah. What can I even say about that? Like, it was almost funny to me. I know that some may consider that disrespectful, but it was. Like, please don't sit up here and tell me you didn't chuckle when you heard the news. And then, the thing that makes it even funnier is the fact that everybody has their own little speculations on how she died. Oh well, I guess we'll see how this whole thing with her "Million Dollar Baby" turns out, cuz everybody and their momma are claiming to be that baby's daddy.

The Grammy Awards were great. I soaked up every minute of it! I know people are sick of the Oprah/Luda thing, but I thought it was kinda comical.

Valentine's Day was a SUPER let down, because I didn't get to spend it with my boo. The weather was HORRIBLE!!! Oh well, I didn't have to take my punk ass to work!!!

Ok so this blog has been in the works for like 3 days, so please excuse my randomness!

So this lady at my job (full-time) came into my cubicle earlier and was like "Can we have a talk?". When people say that, I always get nervous because it usually follows the following statements:

I don't think it's gonna work out.
It's not you, it's me.
You're in trouble.
I'm sorry to tell you this but,....

So anyway, she asked me if we could talk and I was like sure. She says, "My 15 year old nephew just came out to the family, and although we're not mad, we don't know how to handle it. Plus, he's just as confused as we are about the whole thing. Would you consider mentoring him?"

At first, I was like...ME?! YOU WANT ME TO BE YOUR NEPHEW'S EXAMPLE ON LIVING GAY LIFE?! WHY?! But, after thinking about it more, I'm like why not?? I mean sure, my life is less than perfect, but whose is? Especially for homos these days. There's ALWAYS some drama. I've always wanted to help out younger homosexuals, because it would be so nice to see some of them that don't make the same mistakes that I have. Being black and gay has been a struggle, but hey, Destiny's Child already told y'all, "I'm a survivor!" I'll definitely keep you guys posted on that, and I'll be asking for your advice on stuff too, cuz I DEFINITELY don't have all the answers. I probably don't have any answers as it stands lol.

In less thought provoking news, I got my first tattoo! It's peeling right now though...yuck! lol.

Anyway I guess that's it for me!!! MUCH LOVE AND PEACE!

Random Tuesday??!!

2007-02-06T11:47:00.000-08:00

I umm...yea. My mind is all over the place today, so I was just like fugg it, today is gonna be a random Tuesday! lol.

Baltimore is CRAZY COLD! Why is it like 8 degrees????!!!

Oh yeah, Trent (my 25 year old husband) from http://justasktrent.blogspot.com has informed me that tomorrow's Witty Wednesday is gonna be a HOT ONE...so check it out

Somebody stole my cell phone in my class today and I had to WRECK SHOP to find out who stole it. This little white girl was like, "oh I'm sorry, I thought it was mine!" Bitch you lyin', you don't have no rainbow RAZR! She almost got cut just for lyin!

I have a Valentine this year!!!! YAAAAAY!!!!

Graduation and prom are around the corner and I am NOT prepared!

I always forget to shout Mekhi Phifer out when I talk about all of the fine men in my life, so Mekhi, this is a personal and public apology.

I feel like shit today!

Are there any good movies out? cuz I don't have to work this weekend and I'm going to be in front of somebody's silver screen! I just don't know what to see.

Jump-Off #1 hasn't called me since I broke our date last weekend....that bastard! Oh well. My Valentine crushed him anyways!

I feel like this today.....

I PROMISE....tomorrow's blog is gonna be so much better than today's! I feel a mess. A lot is going on right now in my homosexual little mind, and I need to get myself together. Pray for me!

Writer's Block

2007-02-05T11:15:00.000-08:00

I got some stupid writer's block today because I can't tell you guys what I want to tell you, and it would be stupid to do so....Sooooo, I'll see you guys tomorrow when I'll have some fresh T to dish to you guys...Until then, hugs and kisses, peace and love!!!!!!

Random Fridays

2007-02-02T11:50:00.000-08:00

I don't know....this week has been the most trying week of 2007, and it probably will be for a very long time. I lost some friends, but what I gained was a gabillion times better than that. Alot of people at my part-time job are really trying me, and probably will continue to do so in the coming weeks, but hell, I'm Jared, so deal with it bitches. Like Mr. Trent Jackson (http://justasktrent.blogspot.com) says: "Wear all black to block out the shade!" And that's exactly what I intend to do in the coming days! But anyway, this is not a sad blog, I'm actually very happy with how I'm handling myself. I'm not gonna say that I've been professional or even nice about everything, but as I said, I'm Jared, so deal with it bitches! I think I'm gonna do a Random Friday post every Friday, because Fridays are always so random and unorganized, so here are my thoughts!

Last night, I watched Beyonce's DejaVu music video, and I fell in love with her ALL OVER AGAIN!!!
Did y'all see Fantasia at Aretha Franklin's tribute??!! I fell OUT! She just lays me out everytime I see her!
Did ya'll see Fantasia at The Celebration of Gospel??!! I fell OUT! She just lays me out everytime I see her!
Did y'all see Aretha Franklin at her own tribute? Umm....a mess! Now I know she's the queen and all, but the queen needs to get some new advisors. She looked a hot Big Bird mess. Why the hell did she have all those feathers on like that? She couldn't even move. Somebody needs to tell her about herself. Stevie Wonder dresses better than her......and he's blind!!!!
Now I know this is an old topic, but I still can't get off of it. Can they PLEASE bring Toni Childs back to Girlfriends...oh yeah and Maya's son Jabari! He got really fine! I was like where did he come from all of a sudden!!!???
I'm really concerned about the end result of Brandy's whole manslaughter charge...I'm guessing that any outcome isn't gonna be good though.
I am so ready to see Daddy's Girls on Valentine's Day....mmm...that damn Idris Elba....DAMN!! sexy!
Have you noticed that in ALL of Tlyer Perry's productions, there has been a fine men in like every single one?! Idris Elba, Boris Kodjoe, Blair Underwood, Ryan Gentles...hmm..just seems a little suspicious to me....mmmhmm.
I saw Jackass 2 this week...it was like triflin, disgusting, and HILARIOUS all rolled into one DVD...I was feeling all kinds of emotions when I watched that movie!
I heard that Paris Bennett from American Idol Season 5 is coming out with an album soon...interesting!! I'm gonna get it!
Even though I'm still sad that Noah's Arc is not coming back to TV, I have faith that Patrik-Ian Polk go IN on the Season 2 DVD...I'm so looking forward to it!
I'm wearing my "I LOVE MY FANS" T-shirt to work tomorrow. I think it will be appropriate since I have so many of them there....hell I think I might just wear it today...hmm...
I think I'm gonna stop, cuz if I don't, I'm gonna start telling ALL my business. So, have a LOVELY and DELIGHTFUL weekend and as Patrik-Ian Polk says: "Stay positive (in life) and negative (in sexual practice)."

Guess I Got Some 'Splainin To Do

2007-01-31T11:19:00.000-08:00

I have received 7 e-mails questioning why I deleted the post I wrote yesterday. It's actually kind of funny...umm...A lot of drama ensued the events of Saturday night, and the people at my job were really trying me, so I figured, all I needed was for a big mouth person who doesn't really like me, to read my blog and spread my business. I had a lapse in judgement with that post, but I don't apologize, because I didn't do anything wrong. All I did was tell the truth and some people just can't seem to be able to handle the truth. You know who you are, and it doesn't matter, because I'm still doing me regardles...hoes (sorry I had to add that).

Ok so this is not a sad day for me, nor is it a sad blog. I am very...something...I don't know what I am, but I'm not sad or angry or anything of that nature. But, I'm also not really happy either...whatever.

So tell me why I got out of school today at my normal time (10:20 am) and I get ready to get in my car and go to work. Ok so, the whole story behind early release students is, if you have met all of your graduation requirements, you can leave early, but the only thing is, you have to either have a car and drive, or have a steady ride. Well, you know how it is, people always lie to get their way, so there are like 25 students who are early release and don't drive or have a ride, so they wait for the other kids that do drive to come out and they hustle a ride. I don't mind giving out rides to people I know and like, because I know how it feels to need a ride! But...when I don't know you, don't ask me for a ride...please and thanks. This girl Kristen that goes to my school is one of those people that I don't really care for, but she always seems to ask me for a ride. I usually whore her up, because she smells bad, and she's just triflin', but today I was in a good mood. So I gave her a ride or whatever, and mind you she lives 20 minutes away, but I still was in a good mood, so I didn't mind the drive....BUT OH NO!!! This bitch had the nerve to pop an E pill in my car! I didn't realize what it was at first, so I was like "what' s wrong you got a headache?" That bitch was like, "Oh no, this is X, do you want one?" I was like "FUCK NO, GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY CAR, BITCH!" She thought it was a game, but oh was she heated when she found out I was serious...needless to say, I don't think she'll be asking me for a ride anymore. Sorry gir!

Oh yeah, thanks Patrik for the love...I almost fell out of my chair when I read your comment. I'm such a big fan of your work.

And thank you Tambi for holdin' me down in the rough patches...things are gettin really messy around the good GAP, but it'll be ok soon!!!

Random Fridays...

2007-01-26T08:30:00.001-08:00

Yea so this week, I told you guys that I got rid of James ("Gary") and that Jump Off #3 was ELIMINATED! But, also, I was really, very disturbed to hear the news that Noah's Arc wouldn't be coming back to my flat screen TV or iTunes anymore, but to the silver screen in 2008....what a blower. I hope they at least put Season 2 on DVD. Regardless of what anyone said about the acting, wardrobe, storyline, or whatever, it is still one of my favorites shows. I mean I haven't rushed home to catch a TV show since Real World Philadelphia!
On a lighter note, I PASSED ALL MY FINALS!!!! I mean I really didn't have any doubt that I wouldn't, but it still feels good to know for sure! My english exam kicked my ass though. I was really callin' on GOD for that exam!
Also, I saw Stomp the Yard, and I must say, that although I really wasn't to excited to see it (I would've rather seen Dreamgirls) I still really enjoyed it. Here are my thoughts...

Ok so, I must admit, I was kinda throwin shade at Meagan Good earlier for her roles in all these "black productions", but to her defense, she did an awesome job. That still doesn't delete the fact that I want to see her win an Oscar in the future.
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, I went with my dad, and it was SOOO awkward when those sexy ass men had their shirts off...let's just say, my dad was lookin at me extra hard to see if I was starin at those bodies.......and I was
It was nice to see some of the people from RIZE on the different dance crews.
The storyline was stupid...it was like "Your Drumline Got Served"....why was it like SUPER PREDICTABLE??
I almost cried when Chris Brown got shot. I don't care how fake it looked. I don't even LIKE Chris Brown
I LOVED the way Darrin Henson (Grant) kept getting whored OVER and OVER again!
Nathan Adams (Theta Stepper #9) was also on Noah's Arc Season 1. He played Dwayne. You guys remember Dwayne. He was the one that worked at Trade Analysis with Ricky and Noah and Alex bet Ricky $20 that he couldn't go without having sex with him. Needless to say, they did have sex, and it made for the HOTTEST sex scene on the whole season! If you haven't seen it, then you don't have Season 1 on DVD or you don't press the Enter button on your remote when the little palm tree comes up on your screen.....either circumstance, you need to get it together!

Ok so, I guess that's it for me. umm....yea, so don't forget to listen to Trent's show tonight. You can download it for iTunes or listen to it through his blog (http://justasktrent.blogspot.com). Peace and Love....have a lovely weekend!

Letter to the People

2007-01-25T10:30:00.000-08:00

This is the 2nd Installment of Mr. QueerKid's (http://queerkidofcolor.blogspot.com) column on my page. Once again, it is a very well written piece, so enjoy! Thanks Queer Kid!

Letter to the people

So, I have a bi-weekly column-ish type thing on Jared’s blog here. I’m glad he’s given me the opportunity to be able to write on his blog.

Now, I want to share with you all something dear to me. I never used this letter and no one has ever seen it before today. I wrote it on November 22nd 2005; when I was still discovering my love for writing and discovering my identity. From which things have changed. Again, although this letter was intended to be given out, I never gave it out. But here it is;

P.S. My writing sucks here and my grammar, so bare with me!

Everyday I wake up unhappy. Unhappy to move out of my bed, because I carry a secret. A secret, that can hurt my family and friends. I have kept this secret since June of 2005. When I finally discovered my real identity. All of me wanted to change so that I can go fourth and make everyone else happy. But now I know that I’m not going to change. This is who I am. And if no one likes it then that’s OK. If you can’t deal with the fact that I am like this, it seems like you have issues. I’m not going to live unhappy, while someone else embraces their identity. Truth is; I am a bisexual Dominican. I love myself for it. I love women. I love men. Is that a problem? I hope it’s not. Even if it is I don’t care. I’m fine. I don’t have a disease. I’m not going to die. And I refuse to believe that God is going to condemn me for who I am. Truth of the matter is God loves me. He loves me. God loves me. If he didn’t I wouldn’t be alive today proclaiming to all who I am and who it is that I like.

At the end of this letter you can either love me or hate me. You can choose to not talk to me anymore or you can choose to call me up and tell me that its ok for me to be who I am. If you have receive this letter it is because whether you know it or not you have had a positive affect in my life. I’m always asked how my day is and always say what I think will make people happy. But screw it. I’m tired. I've been depressed and I’m not going to take this anymore. Before coming out to my mother I was depressed to the point of total exhaustion. But its over. No more sleepless nights, no more cutting of the wrist, no more taking pills to what I think will end my days. Those days are over. I wanted to tell you about me. And I did. Go ahead crumble this letter up, throw it in the garbage, go gossip about me, go ahead and torture me, but why should I hide inside a closet?

Many people have laughed and talked about gays and lesbians and bisexual people in front me and expected me to be cool with it. I’m not cool with it at all. The laugh that I give when someone makes a nasty comment is me hiding myself. If you’ve said something about gay, lesbian , bisexual people, in front of me I don’t forgive you. Not the least bit. I guess you weren’t quick enough to judge.

Now, I want to thank the sick school who called me a “faggot” or “homo” without me even confirming it. To correct you I am BISEXUAL. I’m thanking you not because of the nasty comments, but because you have pressured me into finally coming out.
I’m done. This is me. I’m still bisexual. I will never change. I don’t want to change. I doubt that I will change. I’m the source to my own identity.

If you have a problem with me and who I am…well…It sounds like your personal problem now.

Jared's Next Top Jump-Off

2007-01-24T08:57:00.001-08:00

Ok, so as I said yesterday, I have (or actually had) 3 Jump-Offs that were in the running to becoming Jared's Next Top Jump-Off (JNTJ). I received a lot of flack about that..I won't put any names out there, but I was called a hoe and a freak (jokingly of course) and I was told that I was too young to be having sex anyway. But whatever. I figured since Valentine's Day is a celebration of love and it's too close to the 14th for me to actually fall in love, I might as well have some fun. And then my birthday (May 9th people, May 9th) is coming, and you guys already know what's going down then!
So anyways, I have these three guys that are trying to get me bodied right now, but I thought I'd talk to all of them at the same time and then narrow down the one that I wanted to be with (I know somebody's gonna call me a ho for that). So here are the descriptions:

J-O #1: Tall, chocolate brotha with dreds. 19 years old. Kinda shy. Has only had sex once with a guy, none with a girl. Works 2 jobs and has his own car, and pays his own rent by himself. Really sexy...36" waist. Don't ask me how I know that.

J-O #2: Tall, chocolate, kinda thick brotha. Braids. 20 years old. Really outgoing, but not in a queenie type of way. Really funny. Who knows how many people he's had sex with. Works as an EMT and has his own car and pays his own rent by himself. Not as fine as J-O#1 but his personality makes up for it.

J-0#3: Medium height (5'7-5'8), skinny dude with a little bush. 20 years old. LOVES MUSIC. We can talk about music on the phone for hours. He's one of those souly kind of Common type of guys. Works at Hollister. No car. Lives at home with his mom. Finer than J-O#2, but not as fine as J-O#1.

So this is the deal. J-O#3 was kicked off of my reality show yesterday. The whole story behind that is wild. On Sunday, we were talking on the phone and he was at American Eagle buying sweatshirts. He bought like 3 and they were like 30 bucks each. Ok, so there's nothing wrong with that. But wait, yesterday I texted him to see how he was doing and he said bad, so I asked him why things were going so bad. He texted me back saying "I need $16 to get to work and my dad is in iraq." I texted him back like whatre you talking about? He was like "oh srry. a bus pass costs $16 for a week and my dad usually gives me the money when I don't have it but hes in Iraq right now...so I don't know what I'm gonna do." Then this nigga goes on to ask me if I would drive to Baltimore County, which is like 45 minutes away from my house and give him $20....Nigga What?! no No NO! There are 2 reasons that I didn't do him the favor:

He's not my man...he's just a jump off
Nigga you was buyin sweatshirts at American Eagle!! You shoulda been buyin bus passes!!

So needless to say, I was like. I have in my hands, 2 photgraphs..Whoevers name I do not call, must immediately pack their sweatshirts and go back to momma's house! For those of you who have never seen America's Next Top Model, and don't know what happens after she doesn't show you your picture....well let's just say, they go home.

J-O#3, you are no longer in the running to being Jared's Next Top Jump-Off....sorry!

I'll keep you guys posted on the other 2 as things happen, but remember to stay away from

J-O#3's

"Ain't No Feelin' Like Bein' FREE"

2007-01-23T12:05:00.000-08:00

YESSS!! Me and "Gary" finally got ourselves together!! The whole story behind me and this "Gary" character is funny because like he thought he could have sex with my friend, and do it "secretly" so that I wouldn't find out about it...HA!! Well, needless to say "Gary" whose real name is James...I don't know why I've been protecting his identity all this time...and my ex-friend Jonathan are no longer in my circle! I was so mad, I didn't even "Ring the Alarm" like I said I was gonna do if he ever cheated. Oh well!
So anyways, as everybody has probably experienced by now at least once, when you're in a relationship and it goes awry, the offender always wanna be blowin up your phone and sendin you text messages and hittin' up your MySpace talkin bout how sorry he is...WHATEVER! You shoulda thought about that before you went stickin' around!
So Sunday (our first snow of the year), he texts me and he was like, remember when we met? This was significant, because last year we met on the first snow of the year and it was all romantic and stuff. So he got me at my point of weakness, and I texted him back like "yea, so". And he's like "don't act like that, I'm sorry" and so I was like "I'm sorry too, that you felt the need to do what you did". So then he was like "man, how many times do I have to apologize?". I was like "don't try to put it on me, like I was the one in the wrong." So finally he was like "where does that leave us then?" and I was like "we're done."
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD THAT FEELS!! See we were like in a pending relationship status for like 3 months. I mean, we both knew what was up, but we never sat down and said, "hey it's over, stop calling me", it was more of me finding out and not speaking to him anymore. So now I'm trying to decide which jump-off I want to keep for Valentine's Day and my birthday, cuz you know it's gonna be on, on both of those days! It is NOT a game...so I have 3 Jump-Offs right now and they all have potential but only one can be Jared's Next Top Jump-Off.
I'll go more into detail about them tomorrow, cuz they're funny to me. Jump-Off # 1 and I have a date on Friday night, so keep your fingers crossed, and I'll keep my legs crossed!

Things I Hate About Myspace and Other Various Dating/Networking Sites

2007-01-19T08:34:00.000-08:00

I have been on myspace since last year and I've been on some other dating/networking sites for about that time as well. It's cool, because I've met a lot of people and found some people that I haven't seen in years. BUT, there are some things that I absolutely can't stand about these sites and I have comprised a list that I will share with you now.

I HATE when people post those stupid bulletins talkin' bout "OMG This Really Works!!!!!" and the bulletin has some great "Myspace profile counter" or some "Top 100" I hate that shit!! It doesn't work!
I HATE when people have like 6,000 friends....you're stupid....go play on train tracks
I HATE when people put pictures in their photo album and they put a caption on it saying "I'm so ugly", or "I'm so fat"...no you're not, and if you were, you wouldn't have posted the picture.
I CAN'T STAND when people post those bulletins with some pointless shit in it and then at the bottom say "send this to 10 people in the next 3 minutes or your love life is gonna suck for the next 10 years" Ok my love life already sucks, so I have nothing to lose.
I HATE when people send you threats over these sites. Fighting over the internet is like being in a spelling bee.....even if you win, you're still a dork.(except for Akeelah)
I HATE when people that I don't even talk to wonder why they are not on my Top Friends list...How 'bout, because I don't like you whore. Remove yourself from my presence.
I HATE when dumb people send you a friend request and when you delete it, they send you another message saying "what's up witchu not accepting me?" I don't want your foolishness on my page! That's what's up!
I REALLY CAN'T STAND when like little slutty 12 year olds try to hit your page up and send you filthy, horny little messages and call you daddy and all this other messy craziness. I'm like, "I'm going to forward this to the police as well as your mother, and don't you have a spelling test to be studying for?"
I DON'T LIKE when people send you messages that say..."what's up yo, are you a top or a bottom, cuz im tryna get atchu"....WHAT?! no no no and NO!!

I'm really not bitching or anything...actually, I think some of this stuff is funny. I think if people would just contemplate what they do before they do it, Myspace and those other wannabe sites would be a whole lot more enjoyable....now tell me you don't agree!

I Cried My Last Tear Yesterday

2007-01-17T08:55:00.000-08:00

Last night, I got home from my first job tired and irritated, but I couldn't go to sleep. I had to change my clothes and go right to my second job. All this working and going to school is fun, but it gets crazy sometimes, because you don't have time to even think on your own. This has been going on for about 6 months now, and yesterday, I hit BOILING POINT!!!!

First of all, before I even got into my job, I saw my ex "Gary" with some other little nasty somebody, and that was like STRIKE 1. Then, when I got into work, some lady called me stupid because I couldn't find her size....In my mind I was like "Bitch! Didn't nobody tell your fat ass to come in here lookin for your size." Soooo, I cried. I cried and I cried. I cried like a little BIATCH!I boohoo cried, right in front of that lady. I went into the back of the store and everyone was like "Oh my God, are you ok??? Oh my God!" I had the sympathy vote lol. Oh yea by the way that was STRIKE 2. So then my manager saw me crying and he was like "what's wrong?!" and dadadada so I told him what happened and he let me go home. THEN, "Gary" called me and was like, "let's hang out tonight. I was like, "No, why don't you stay with the guy I saw you with earlier?" and he was like "I wasn't with no guy earlier, what are you talking about?" STRIKE 3. I hung up the phone!! Don't fuckin lie! So needless to say, I cried some more, and laid in my own misery until about 7:30 when my friend Zurich called.

When I answered, he immediately noticed the change in my voice and was like "what's wrong with you" and I was like "just a lot of stuff goin on" and he was like "ok i'm coming over now". So he came over and my mood was immediately changed because at 8:00 American Idol came on...What!? I was DYIN'!!!!!!!!

Now, let me just say I PROMISED myself I wasn't going to watch the season premier and get sucked into the foolishness of the horrible contestants. But....I guess I lied..I loved every minute of the horrible fools that just KNEW that they were the best thing to ever hit the American Idol stage. I know the people that watched it know what I'm talking about. My favorite was the girl with the braids and tie that couldn't seem to get Prince's "Kiss" together.

I am really happy to have friends like Zurich, that you can watch stupid mess with and just adjust your whole attitude. So, now I'm back to my old bubbly self and I'm happy about it, cuz now that I think about it, I'm like "bitch, get it together!" Here are some messy pix from American Idol (Seattle) last night.

All This Strife and Shade Throwing

2007-01-16T10:35:00.000-08:00

Ok so, I went to the bank today to cash my check and I was next in line for this for this bank teller that was obviously gay. He had on these tight dress pants and a womens' sweater and a tight vest with a grey and white herringbone fedora. Of course he had his lebrae pierced with the Destiny's Child charm bracelet that he bought from the Destiny Fulfilled Tour, because I saw them when I went. But I digress.
So I get up to the counter and I was like, I'm here to cash my check. So he gave me this little side look like "so what, who cares?". So I just pretended that I didn't see it and proceeded to give him my ID and my credit card and stuff and he tried to proces my information. While I was waiting I told him that his hair was cute (he had like a little Darryl Stephens curl). He said to me: "I know, everything about me is.".......See it's a new year, and I promised myself that I wasn't going to go there with blatantly ignorant people, so I didn't I just stared at him.
I'm getting SOOOO tired of these little nasty, muscle butt, feminine, queeny, cunt, gay people that think they're celebrites! Now let me clear the record before I get dogged. I am totally not against feminine homosexuals...I mean what can I say? I can be pretty feminine at times too, but in all that, I don't lose perspective. I am just a normal person like everybody else, and for somebody to think that they're above somebody over some stupid nonsensical bull, is totally confusing to me. Also let me set the record straight on the fact that I am not just talking about bottoms, I am talking about tops too, because I have seen the inner Beyonce' come out of some "homothugs" too. I guess what I'm trying to say is, can we please have an accurate display of ourselves? I mean, I know there are times that we all feel like we are the shit(sorry ReddMann), but let's keep it under control!

This Past Weekend!!!

2007-01-15T08:10:00.000-08:00

To say this past weekend was crazier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest is the understatement of the YEAR....and we're only 15 days into it! Saturday was my bestest friend Kordale's (Smuffin) 18th Birthday....and OH we showed out!!!! Me, Kordale, and my other friends Reggie and AJ painted the town rainbow, and I definitely have no regrets about it. We started out at Red Robin (which me and my friend Melissa visited and loved last weekend!). And we laughed so hard in there that I didn't even eat my food!!! I should have though cuz that shit was 9 dollars, but nonethelss...So anyways, we were off the HOOK in that restaurant. We had all the Whites looking uneasy and uncomfortable! We talked about everything from penis to...well umm...penis, and our waitress (who eerily resembled Mya) was even jumpin in on it!(she got a $25 tip)...So then, when it was time for the waiters and waitresses to sing the little "happy happy birthday" song, I handpicked the waiters and waitresses that I wanted to sing in the birthday choir...it wasn't a game...I didn't want any greasy waiters all over our cake, nor did I want that nasty Harry Potter look alike!!! So yea that was fun. So we go back to the local mall and visited our other friend Brandon who couldn't come because he had to work, but he had an attitude that I wasn't feelin, so he had to go! Later on, we went to the bowling alley for like the little midnight bowl thing, but the lady said that they didn't have any more lanes...I just think it was cuz they didn't want 4 black faggots taking their bowling alley over...whatever she had a Donald Trump comb-over anyways...stupid bitch! But, it was good that the bowling alley was full because then we did the gayest thing 4 gay kids could do.....go skating!!! I haven't been skating in YEARS. Last time I went skating was when I went with the church youth and this nasty skank named Shirelle gave this boy head behind the dumpster....that filthy ho..I can't stand her...BUT I DIGRESS.....So yea when we got in there, all the white people pulled their kids over to the side....better for me, cuz they weren't in my way! Skating was a lot of fun, besides the fact that Reggie was actin like he had a vagina and was like "I can't skate, I don't wanna, I don't feel like it." Whatever bitch! Oh yeah, I have NEVER seen so many little kids bust their ASS like that...it was SOOOO fuggin funny! So by this point the night was about to be over, so we all go back to the mall to get our cars and go home, when we see these drunk ass white people getting ready to go at it in the parking lot! They were like "Bitch, fuck you Carrie!" and the other white people were like "No FUCK YOU! Motherfucker, Do you have a fucking problem with me?!" and the other white people were like "Whatever...whatever, whatever!" and then the other white people were like "shut the fuck up!!!"....that was icing on a cake that would've been good without!! So...Happy Birthday Smuffin..I hope you'll celebrate many many more!!!
Oh yea, I wouldve had pictures of this whole event, but Kordale's "ponk ass" didn't email them to me like he was supposed to....bitch.
Ok so I'm about to be selfish for a minute...if you thought Kordale's birthday would be fun, wait til mine comes in 3 monts and 23 days. I am already in Preparation for my B'Day and oh what a day that will BE!!!! I need to get my "Freakum Dress" so that I can "Get Bodied" on that day!!!

Random Fridays

2007-01-12T09:01:00.000-08:00

Last night I was racking my brain for something to write about today. But, all I got was a piece about my celebrity crushes, but that would be the longest blog EVER because I have so many of them. And then if I put pictures on there?? Oh no! And anyway, everybody should already know how I feel about: LL, Andre 3000, Larenz Tate, Idris Elba(yessss!!!), Will Smith, Jensen Atwood(YESSS!!!), Boris Kodjoe, Ludacris, Lil Scrappy, Big Boi, Allen Iverson, Carmelo Anthony, Dwayne Wade (yeesssssss!!!!!). See what I mean? That would've taken forever, and I still have so many more ::cough::Diddy::cough:: SOOOO...I'm going to just be random for a couple minutes so bear with me please!!

Thank you to everyone that responded to my interview! I didn't realize people were going to like it that much! That is really crazy!
A lot of people have been asking me about the "How Would it Feel to be Gay" series. I called the board of education and I talked to a woman and she said that my parents would have to be involved if it went any further, so since I wasn't totally out to my parents, it wouldn't really be a good idea. So, I just left alone. Oh well, at the rate things are going in our culture, there'll be a whole slew of other causes I can fight for....Not to mention I've been called an overexaggerating queen on more than one occasion.
I can NOT for the life of me finish watching RENT...I always fall asleep!
Meryl Streep was a BAD BITCH in "The Devil Wears Prada". I want to be just like her when I grow up.
Is it just me, or is that movie "Stomp the Yard" not at all appetizing...well besides the fact that I saw like 30 shirtless men in the preview.
Speaking of "Stomp the Yard", Meagan Good needs to be in a movie that will broaden her horizons. She's been in every Ghetto Black production imagineable: "Biker Boyz", "You Got Served", "Deliver Us From Eva"(actually I kinda liked this movie), "Waist Deep", "The Cookout"....Need I go further?!
Oh yeah, I just thought of something for a blog....!!!!!

My interview with Kordale B.

2007-01-11T09:22:00.000-08:00

Ok so, I'm always on people's blog and they have all these interviews with important/famous people (QueerKid, Clay Cane). So, I thought about it and I realized I don't know any famous people, but I do have friends, so I interviewed my bestest friend in the whole world, Kordale. It's nothing really in depth or thought provoking, I just thought it would be fun, so here it is.

Jared: What are you doing?

Kordale: Right now?

J: No, tomorrow. Yes right now!

K: Whatever, nothing just waiting for my cousin to get off of work so I can go pick him up and listening to my Zune.

J: Oh, you got one of those?

K: Yeah.

J: For Christmas?

K: Yeah.

J: Ok so, what are you listening to the most on there?

K: Well I downloaded the Ciara CD and a little bit of Fantasia.

J: OH that's my SHIT! What did you get off of there?

K: Just that one song "Hood Boy".

J: Bitch you need to get on it...get the whole CD please.

K: OK.

J: Ok so, a lot of people are talking about size...does size matter to you?

K: No, just as long as the person has one.

J: Wow, you're nasty.

K: But I'm honest.

J: Let's not EVEN get into that! So are you ready to graduate?

K: I am...at first I didn't know what I wanted to do, but now I do

J: Which is going to the military, right?

K: Yep

J: Are you scared?

K: No not really, I'm just having second thoughts. I still want to do stuff with animals.

J: Ill like what?

K: Like work at a zoo or something...

J: Wow, I never knew that...that's interesting. You're serious right?

K: Yeah, very serious.

J: So are you single?

K: Yup.

J: Are you looking?

K: Yea, but I'm kinda talking to somebody too.

J: I hope you're not talking about that rich guy.

K: No.

J: Or that other guy.

K: No.

J: Oh ok. So let's talk about your relationship with Raoul*.

K: That bitch.

J: Yea I knew that would get you hot!

K: I don't even want to talk about it.

J: This is MY interview ho. You're gonna talk about it.

K: Anyway...He just really made me mad.

J: Yeah I know, I was about to cut him when I met him.

K: Yeah and that's the other thing, I don't like how he disrespected you. You come before anybody I date.

J: Awwwwww!!!! Really?

K: Yeah, you know that.

J: I know, I'm just making sure YOU know.

K: Whatever.

J: Ok so let's get off of that...Saturday you'll be the big 1-8. Do you have any plans besides the ones we've already made? Any tattoos or piercings or anything?

K: Well I can't get any tattoos because of the military, but I do want to get my tongue pierced.

J: Ill why?

K: So I can give better head.

J: I hope you know that I'm writing that.

K: NOOO come on I forgot that we were recording.

J: Your fault; I'm writing it!

K: Whatever. But yeah, I'm gonna get my tongue pierced, but I'm not saying anything because Darren* just got his pierced, and he'll think I'm copying him.

J: When did Darren* get his tongue pierced?

K: A while ago.

J: I don't like him...he's a clown.

K: Yeah I know me neither, but I'm not going to hate on him because it's a new year and I said I wasn't going to.

J: I couldn't have said it better.....so if there's nothing else, I think we're finished here.

K: I hope, cuz you're getting on my nerves.

J: Whatever...thank you for letting me interview you!

K: No problem anytime.

So that's it people! LMAO...how'd I do?! lol.

*Names were changed to protect bullshitters!

Cock & Bull: The search for the perfect Cock

2007-01-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

Hey people...this is the first installment of the post that Queer Kid of Color (http://queerkidofcolor.blogspot.com) has so graciously agreed to write for my blog every other Thursday. It is called Cock & Bull: The search for the perfect Cock. It is really well written, so enjoy!

I have met plenty of good guys in the two years that I have been a part of the gay scene. Guys who enjoyed my company, guys who would say I seduced them with my personality. So what a surprise that since being a great guy I still have managed to be single. NO! DON’T GO! THIS ISNT A BITCH AND RAVE ABOUT ME BEING SINGLE. BITCH DON’T CHANGE BLOGS! Anyways, contrary to whatever I may say, I think I’m the perfect gentlemen. Even though I may be just a little stubborn when it comes to picking and choosing carefully who I like. I’ve never dated either. I just “hung out” with guys. Which leads me to this transition:

I finally thought to leave my stubborn ways, stop thinking that I’m above the guys who like me and give this one guy the opportunity to change my perceptions about the other gays I’ve encountered. To sum it all up, I thought I met the perfect cock.

I was wrong.

The perfect cock turned out to be an English gentlemen who is having a love affair with his church, an undercover straight guy who doesn’t like being gay and who thought homosexuality is a sin. I was induced by his state of mind, enticed by the words he chose to speak, captivated by how articulate he was and moved enough to mentally piece together a life of ecstasy. So why am I still running behind him? Why am I still making out with him in his car? Why do I feel affection for someone who thinks I’m a sin? No, I’m not desperate. Trust. I’m not. Patience for relationships is something I have no problem exercising. I’m running behind this perfect ten of a man because I’m afraid that perhaps he will realize some day he isn’t straight and decide to find another man. I feel like there is no one like him. When he finally finds out that he isn’t straight, I want to be the first face he sees and the first person he thinks about when it hits him that there’s nothing wrong with being same gender loving because after all its survival of the fittest and we’re all looking for the prefect cock.

Jazmine Sullivan

2007-01-11T07:16:00.000-08:00

This girl....mmm....I don't even know what to say about her. Jazmine Sullivan is a singer that my friend Myra put me on to, and I do NOT regret being a groupie for her. Oh my GOD this girl is talented. She has been compared to Kim Burell and Kiki Sheard, but I have put her in a category of her own. You know when you listen to something and you only hear a little bit but it's so good, you have to just pause it and shout for a minute? That's what she does to me! She wrote a song for Kindred and she wrote Say I for Christina Milian, but the sad thing is, she's better than Christina Milian! Sorry Christina, no shade here. And,..I think she's only like 19 or 20. If you have LimeWire, which everyone should, she's on there. Anyway,this girl is too fierce for words, so I'm gonna let her music speak for itself...oh yea look out for Mr. QueerKid's (http://queerkidofcolor.blogspot.com) post on my blog and the interview I did with my best friend today.

Me and My Ex

2007-01-10T14:30:00.000-08:00

Ok so, yesterday I'm doing my daily internet browse and you know I hit the good MySpace. So I have all these new messages and friend requests and such, and in my Inbox I have a message from somebody who I don't recognize, cuz you know how people always change their pictures to inanimate objects and things that don't make any sense. So anyway, I look at the subject and the subject is "Tui, we need to talk".....oh shit, here we go. Tui is the nickname my ex-boyfriend gave me and nobody else calls me that, so I knew it was only one person. I was kinda shocked that he sent me a message, but what we had to talk about wasn't clear. I thought we were done talking a couple months ago...but whatever. So I read the message and this is what it said...I'll clarify what he's talking about in red.
Babe, (ok so when did you get the permission to call me babe again?) we need to talk about some things. I know I did you dirty and I was wrong, but I think we can werk (ok spell check?!) this out. Please call me. You're being as stubborn as always and that's part of the reason why I love you (cut the bull). So, let me know what's going on. I miss hearing your voice and we never finished I Say A Little Prayer. (I used to read to him every night over the phone, and we were reading I Say A Little Prayer by E. Lynn Harris before he started acting stupid...oh well he's a loser.)

Ok....so I was looking at this message with a blank expression, and then.....I just started crackin up. Nigga please, we haven't talked in 2 months. You haven't made any attempts to call my number that is still the same or come to the job that you KNOW I work at every weekend. Whatever. So this is what I sent him back.

Gary*, cut the bull! Thanks!

*Names were changed to protect the bullshitter!

Me Doin' Me!

2007-01-09T12:54:00.000-08:00

Me doin' me right quick...you like it, don't lie.