Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Sorry Darian.....

But Alabama is for the birds, and I'm ready to go home! I work for a call center for a certain cell phone company (who shall remain nameless) that said to me and a few of my other co-workers, "Look, we're having problems at the Alabama and Kentucky call centers, and we need you guys's help. We'll pay for your flight, hotel, transportation, and dining expenses.... aaaand you'll have a great time in another state, meeting other ***** employees and networking with management in both of those call centers."

So I thought to myself... "hmmm this could be interesting... I could use a work paid vacation, and maybe I'll meet some cute thick country ass corn fed dudes in Alabama plus I might even get some good fried chicken in Kentucky... it sucks up here... ever since the colonel died KFC ain't been right.. so what the hell, right?"

Saturday, after I did dinner with Joseph, I got home and packed a few things in my LV overnight bag and slept... Sunday, I kinda took it easy and finished my packing and relaxed.. Monday, my flight took off at 2, me and a couple coworkers met up at 12 and carpooled so we could save on gas and parking.

The plane ride was nice and smooth... I just chilled, listened to the Clark Sisters and Tye Tribbett and Beyonce while I read the Teen Vougue with Chanel Iman on the cover... I couldn't really sleep because the flight was only 2 hours. When we got to the airport, we took a cab to the hotel (I'm rooming with this guy... let's call him Shaggy)...and that's when all the drama began. There was a total of 11 of us on this trip so before we got our room keys and went to our rooms, we agreed to meet up at 6 to grab a quick bite to eat because we had to work that day from 6 to midnight. So me and shaggy (Shaggy is this other cool gay guy that I work with and since we were both going we decided to room together... BIG EFFIN MISTAKE...) checked into our room where the first problem reared its ugly little head. Instead of 2 twin sized beds, there was only 1 queen sized bed... Now I was pissed, but it was already 5:50 so we had to meet up with our co-workers for a late lunch, so I really didn't have time to queen out like I wanted to...

So, we ate lunch at the in-hotel restaurant and then got in the cab to go to the call center. The Alabama call center was NOTHING like the call center at home... The call center at home is like a mega church to Alabama's store front church if you will... and while my home call center is predominantly afro-american, the Alabama call center is mostly white...uhhh... yeah... no thick dark skin rick ross lookin muhfuckas in this bitch... : (.. Then, our temporary supervisor told us that it was a privilege for us to be there and that if we weren't performing, he would have no problem sending us back home.. the audacity of that fat greasy muhfucka!
We worked til midnight, and by the time I got back to the hotel, I was so spent, pissed, and hungry that I forgot that there was only one bed in my room... there wasn't too much nightlife in the area so Shaggy was home right on time as well... Bed time was ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS... he kept talking and snoring and htting me and shit.... and then this nigga is triflin as hell! There was a ring of dirt around the tub and his draws and shit are fuckin everywhere!

Then if that wasn't enough, when we got ready for work ther cab wasn't there, so we had to walk 3 miles to the call center today.

Needless to say,I contacted my immediate supervisor and told him that I wanted to be flown out on the first thing smoking out of Alabama and I will not be traveling to Kentucky, but I still am demanding my traveling bonus and I want tomorrow off. If my demands are not met, I will be having a beautiful meeting with my associate director upon my return.

My flight is at 11....

Monday, January 28, 2008

Hey Guys!!! Howzit Goin'? My weekend was absolutely wonderful. It was full of good television, good food, good conversation, and great company.

Friday really began for me when I got off work. I went to the grocery store and got all kinds of snack/junk food and when I got home, I crashed in front of the television and my Wire-A-Thon officially began. The Wire is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! And as Uncle Cocoa alluded to in my previous post, everything is right around the corner. I knew the show was set in Baltimore, but I was still amazed when they talked about Cold Spring Lane, or Eager Street (home of Baltimore Gay pride), or Edmonson Avenue…. All places that I frequent and are familiar with. Never have I watched a show (besides Noah’s Arc) that has evoked every emotion that I have. Happiness, sadness, pride, laughter, etc. And if that isn’t enough to get you hooked, the damn men on this show are FOINE!!! Idris Elba, Wood Harris, Fredro Starr…..WHAT?! You betta ask somebody!

Saturday, I woke up, ate a little bit of Cap’n Crunch, and then it was back to my Wire-A-Thon. I didn’t even finish Season 1, but I will in the near future, because I’m as hooked on the show as the dope fiends on the show are hooked to crack. I’ve even already purchased Season 3 on Ebay, and I’m waiting by the mailbox to get that so I can further get my life. But, even more special than the time I spent in front of the TV, was the time I got to spend with my fellow blogger, mentor, friend, and “big sis”, Joey Bahamas. Now, Joey only lives right up the way from Baltimore’s sister city DC, but every time we set a date or time to hook up, something always came up and we couldn’t meet. Not to mention that me and Joey have been having phone conversation for almost a year now.

So... I called Joey Saturday morning and I just told him that it was about time we hooked up and today should be the day. He so graciously agreed, and we had a dinner date for that night. At this point, I was soooo excited, and I just knew I was in for a kee session. After about a few more hours of the Wire and then a short nap and a shower, it was already 7 and it was time for me to go down to the District!! I got in the Cobalt, and took off down 295 with the Clark Sisters blaring, excited about the evening I was going to have.

As I drove down Joey's block looking at each address number, I was excited when I finally saw his, so I parked around the corner, and called when I was right outside his apartment. When he came out, I was mesmerized by this 6'1, caramel complected, Bahamian (pronounced Ba hay me an *no shade*) GOD that was standing before me lol. We stepped back in his place, and after the brief awkwardness of the first meeting and hug was over, I took in my surroundings. I thought to myself "this guy's got some taste". Now mind you, as I said before, me and Joey for almost a year now, so I knew the guy was fly, but it's nothing like seeing it for yourself, you know? JB gave me a quick tour of his place and gave me a brief rundown of his future plans for his cute lil eclectic pad, and then we suited up and took to the street.

As we walked the streets and the crosswalks, I was really amazed at how quiet and clean the city actually was. I think my view of city life has been jaded because of Baltimore and too many episodes of the Wire. There were no helicoptors or 5-0 lurking in unmarked cars or blue police lights at every corner (whatchu know about that Mr. Jones?? lol). I made this comment to Joey and he replied that his neighborhood was a "white lady neighborhood". I knew from that point we were gonna have a great night. As we walked some more, I was just glad to get some of that DC brisk air in my lungs and some witty conversation in my ear. We just giggled and laughed like we were in the 3rd grade again as we talked shit about any and everything we wanted.

Soon enough, we were there... this cute little artsy restaurant called Logan Tavern. I have never been to Logan Tavern before, but I will most definitely be going back and am seriously considering having my birthday party there. When we first got there, I was happy for a little heat, and me and JB just enjoyed each others company while we waited....btw the 25 minute wait turned into almost an hour wait, and we were 2 hungry bitches, so uhh...yeah you know what was next... But before things got nasty, we were seated in a quaint little booth, and as I surveyed the menu, I was just so thrilled at how many options there werre to choose from. They had everything from meatloaf to grilled fish, and I was just too ecstatic. I ordered buffalo wings and shrimp and crab mac and cheese (as an appetizer), then came the salad (that I didn't touch), then came the entree of country fried chicken and garlic mashed potatoes and gravy (that didn't even stand a chance), and then for dessert we shared an apple crisp with vanilla ice cream, all the while guzzling gallons of Ginger-Ale....just shameful... A bitch had to be rolled out of that restaurant like Violet Beauregard from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory...

During dinner, we talked about everything from boys, to blogs, to homosexual/drag Disney villains(lol), to Fantasia, to Carrie Underwood (bitch Jesus doesn't have a license, so how the hell is he gonna take the wheel??), to knockin bitches off their bikes (sorry JB, I had to do it), to coming out, to life in the Carribean, to food, to SeX, to just life in general, and the whole while, I just cheesed from ear to ear.

As we suited up again and were on our way out of the restaurant, I was kinda sad that the evening was coming to a close and I wished that we could do it all over again (partly because I wished I could eat again and partly because I didn't want to stop hangin' out with my Joey). As we walked I just couldn't stop laughing at his stories about these crazy Etheopian boys trying it with his mother and his trifling ass roommate, and before I knew it, I was already back to my car... we hugged and took quick picture for the blog and for our personal memories, and I was on my way, content and satisfied at the evening I had just had the pleasure of partaking in. So content and satisfied, that I stopped and bought a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream from Ben and Jerry's and ate that and any remnants left over from dinner as I watched a couple more episodes from the Wire...(don't judge me, I am with child)

Sunday was also a great surprise!! I woke up to more Cap'n Crunch and Wire, when I began texting my other good friend Uncle Cocoa!!! The texting then upgraded to a phone conversation, and I was super excited to have 2 great meet and greets in 1 weekend. Me and Unc talked about the Baltimore Blogger reunion, and boys, and casual sex, and the older/newer gay generations, and I was eating all that shit up! He is such a nice man (but don't let the niceness fool you...this man reads DOWN and he sounds like a hot NY thug...thats what I'm talking about!!). We had an excellent conversation, and I can just say I'm blessed and honor to be in the company of 2 great men!

After all was said and done, this was a weekend to remember, and hopefully there will be more like this to come! .

As a forecast for the coming week, I'll be in Alabama this entire week and then in Kentucky for the following week...both for work, so I'll be posting from the "Dirty South".... don't be surprised if I come back 15 lbs bigger and with a cute lil southern drawl.!

I love you guys... Peace!

Saturday, January 26, 2008


Happy Weekend Everybody! This weekend I bought The Wire seasons 1 and 2 so I'll be having a Wire-A-Thon. Look for me Monday! Later gator!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Tattoos, Tattoos, Tattoos

The post that my Uncle Cocoa posted yesterday on his blog ( really made me smile, and I haven't stopped since. That damn Cocoa, that's my nucca! His picture really inspired me to write about my own tattoos and piercings and I would've posted it sooner, but I was holding out because today is actually the birthday of my first tattoo (my treble cleft)and a week from today will mark the anniversary of my second (my Chinese characters).

Let me first just say that getting tattoos is one of the most fulfilling decisions I've ever made. I LOVE my body art and I hope to keep building on my collection in the years to come.

Now, a lot of people ask me various things about my tats and piercings (i.e., why did you get that?; how much was it?; ooooh did it hurt?; etc.) and I'm here to answer all of that for you. Let me just start with a little bit of education though...

Tattoos are made by a needle or multiple needles penetrating your epidermis and planting ink into your dermis... that pretty much means the ink is not going anywhere. That also means since it's going so deep into the layers of your skin, it's no joy ride on the pain side.

Getting a tat usually starts off with you picking a design, graphic, etc of what you want (i.e. a star, pookie's name, a cross) and these designs can be anywhere: the internet, a drawing, in your head. Now I know everybody has seen those tattoos that are just like wtf?! Why would she get that tattoed on her? What is she going to tel her grandkids? Folks, just be wise in your tattoo choices... if you don't plan on being in the House of Whatever, don't get it tattoed on you...

Then comes step 2, picking the place you want it. Theres the arm, leg, chest, and the ever popular lower back. Now of course different places wield different levels of pain, but it's all good.

Step 3 is finding out who's gonna do the honors and finding the venue you want to have your PERMANENT piece of art done (parlor, your house, tattoo party, 7-11). THIS IS A CRUCIAL STEP... Do your research. If you've heard that the person that is doing your tattoo or the place that you're getting it done at is nasty, please don't go because it's probably true. Last thing you want are diseases and shit because you wanted a tattoo soooo bad that you couldn't make sure that the place is clean.... Also, another big thing is, find out if the artist has tattooed and is comfortable with tattooing people of color. This may sound minute, but its big, especially if you're getting a color piece done. Certain colors don't look good/show up on darker skinned people. Take my star piece for example: that tattoo is emerald green and turqoise, but if your just glancing at it, it looks dark blue and light blue... make sure that the colors you decide to use are going to look good on you(cuz uhhh... newsflash... it's permanent)

Step 4 is HAVE FUN! ummm... this is your body we're talking about! Yes, the tattoo is gonna hurt.... like hell... but it all depends on 3 things: where you're getting it, the size, and your pain threshold... Certain people say different things about the feeling. Some say it tickles, some say it itches, some say it's an annoying sensation; I say it hurts...but is the pain worth it? Absolutely, and that's evident in me still wanting more... But anyway, take a magazine, your iPod, your best friend... all of the above make the tattoo go faster and take your mind off the pain...

Last, but most certainly not least, please take care of your investment. Depending on the size/detail of your tat, it can be a pricy lil endeavor, so take care of it! During that first week, A&D ointment will be your best friend. USE IT! During the initial stages of healing, it's natural for your tattoo to peel, itch and be ugly... just bear with it because it'll be over soon enough....

If you're kinda sorta thinking about getting tat tat tatted up, I hope these little nuggets of info helped.

Now to my tattoos:
My first one was my treble cleft. I got it because I love music... I just love it... I sing, I listen, my family is musical.. it's my first love. It was $60. All black. It took about an hour, and I don't quite remember if it hurt all that bad.

My second was the chinese characters on my back that stand for love, happiness, peace, and blessings. That was also $60. That shit took like only 10 minutes, but it hurt like the dickens :(....

My third and favorite are my stars. It's my favorite because I actually drew this one freehand... this one was $250. It took about 2 hours and I was physically and emotionally drained after it was over lmao.. It hurt pretty bad (especially at the ribs) but it was worth it cuz I was definitely showing it off at beaches, pools, the bedroom, etc...

And my fourth one was just my initials: JS... that was $90 and it took 45 minutes... not too painful.

There will be more to come in the future and I can't wait to share them with you guys, but for now............

That's it for me....
Later gator!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Don't You Hate It When.....

Don't you hate it when u give up the ass to a nigga (and u already know how I feel about that)that u think is gonna work, but in the end, it doesn't and you feel like a whore?! That's what I'm feeling like right now....

Thursday, January 17, 2008


Soooo.... I titled this one "Untitled" because I'm not quite sure what to call it at this time.(by the way this post is going to be explicit and sexual in nature, so those who can't handle that, please don't continue to read).

So anywho, I wrote a post similar to this one about a year ago. I was having some issues with sexual roles, and to be perfectly honest, I still am. Here's my take on sex. On paper, it's great! In my mind, it's great! But, in the bedroom, I don't know how I feel.... Now don't get me wrong, I love sex! I love sensuality, I love touching, feeling, kissing, cuddling, etc., but when I comes to penetration, let's just say the record scratches and the music stops.
Now in my last post, I talked about the same thing. Bottoming is such a chore for me, and I'm not sure I like this chore for which I am not receiving an allowance. Now, I have tried topping before, but I just didn't enjoy it as much. I felt like something was missing.

Bottoming to me is just a whole lot of work that I'm not sure that I really want to put in (lol no pun intended). Ok, not only do bottoms have to make sure their "insides" are clean, which in some cases means not eating the entire day... but we also have psychologically wrap our minds around the fac that someone's penis is going to be in our ass.... it's a lot to handle.

Now I know and can admit to the fact that I'm not the most versed or edjucated in the sex department, but I do know a little somethin somethin, but what I don't understand is, why does there have to be penetration anyway? The thing I love about being gay, is the fact that I don't have to "act straight" or do "straight things". Penetration is such a straight thing to me, so, I don't know why I should take part in it.

Am I totally on this plane by myself??

Friday, January 11, 2008


Hey guys!! What's really going on today? It's already Friday and payday has arrived! *Hallelujah!* This week has gone by so fast and as week 2 of the new year comes to a close,I'm laughing at all the New Year's Resolutions that I've already broken. I.E. not cursing (I just like it too much), keeping my car clean (shit is already piling up in Coby), eating healthier (yeah right).... Resolution my ass...

Today was a kinda somber day in my 'hood. Somebody got shot. Now while this may be common place for some (no shade), this is not at all common place for me and my family. In my parents' attempts to shelter me and my siblings, I have always lived in middle-class suburban homes. Soooo you can only imagine my shock when I saw police vans and unmarked cars and yellow police tape everywhere when I tried to roll up in my neighborhood at 12 am... Nobody seems to know what happened, bit all I saw was a red pickup truck with a bullet hole in the windshield, a white sheet, and tons of maylay... not pretty at all... My younger siblings are so scared that they're laying in my bed as Iiep on the floor (how unfair is that? I didn't shoot anybody!)... I'm not too scared.. I think I'm just more amazed that as I stated a minute ago, it's only 2 weels into 08 and crzy shit is already goin down...

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I Am Sooooooo Not Dateable

This blog is going to be all over the damn place, but that's what I love about blogging... you can talk about whatever, but in the end, it all makes sense. This blog is supposed to be about relationships, but if I get off topic for a minute, just keep reading, and I'll bring it back.

First, before I do that though, I just wanted to take the time to say that I am loving being back on the blog scene! You remember back in school when you would take summer vacation and when you came back, you would see all your old friends and see what's changed (joey, steven, norris, cocoa rican, etc.) and you meet all these amazing new people (rocafella 07, mr. jones) and you would just be happy to see what the new year would bring. That's how I feel!

So anyways, back to this relationship business... I feel like I'm too picky and shallow to actually be dateable... lol, I know it sounds crazy, but of course I'm going to clarify! I have come in contact with all your basic types in the past... THE THUG who is usually the cream of the crop when it comes to the fine department, but either lacks common sense or communication skills.
THE BI GUY who doesn't know if he wants you or sister.
THE PLAYA who thinks it's ok to cheat on you because he's just that great
THE PUSSY who in his efforts to please you, loses his spine in the process.

And the list goes on... I just feel like I'm so complex, that I need an equally complex, multi-faceted guy. I need somebody who will balance me out. I need a guy that's masculine, but at the same time in touch with his feminine side. I need a guy who's cool calm, and collected, but at the same time outgoing. I need a who's physically attractive, but at the same time kinda rugged. I need a guy that that's touchy feely, but at the same time someone that will give me my space...

I feel like I need so much, that my ideal man is unrealistic and unattainable... IDK... one day I'll find him, and when I do, what a day of rejoicing that will be!

Monday, January 7, 2008


I'm lying in the bed watching an infommercial... I really don't want to watch it, but I'm too lazy to get up and change the channel. My head is spinning and I don't know whether I should thank God for the grace and mercy I get everyday, or, if I should cry in complaint because I'm so confused.

I'm confused, but I'm not quite sure what I'm confused about... maybe that's half of the confusion.

I wish the man of my dreams was lying here next to me, holding me and letting me vent about absolutely nothing.

I wish my best friend was sitting in my bed indian style so we could talk about Beyonce or Victoria Beckham's ELLE cover.

I wish my dad understood the life I'm living so I could talk to him about what I'm going through so he can just relate... and hug me.

To that guy that I hurt:
I'm really sorry that I didn't consider your feelings when I did what I did... I know I can't control your feelings, but I'm sorry that I disregarded how you feel/felt about me. Now you see me as a whore, but I really don't get down like that. I think you kniw that, but you're trying to send me on a vacation on the Guilt Xpress. I'm sorry...

Hmmmmmmmm..... I guess that's it... Tomorrow will be better... yeah, tomorrow...

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Happy New Year!!!

Hey everyone from Jared! God I know it's been forever since my last post (almost a year now), but I'm so glad to be home! I feel like a prodigal son that's returned after a time in the wilderness. I'm expecting a lot of great things this year from me and for me and I absolutely can't wait to share it with you guys! God, writing this brings back so many memories....
I just want to thank every single person that has checked up on me since my MIA status became in effect to the blog scene... Joey, Steven, Trent, Norris...thank you guys... I love you!
I also wanna thank everybody that has flooded my inbox with love, whether it has been on myspace, bgc (yes bitches I am a member), and any other venue that I can be sent messages on... I am overwhelmed that almost a year later people are still asking about me...
As a brief update: I am no longer with Leroy.. long story, but I'm ok and I'm single (praise God). I graduated from high school (again, praise God). I am not in school, but I work for Verizon Wireless and they're gonna pay for me to go to school (praise him)... and im just enjoying life!
I'm so glad to be back!!!! You guys just don't know! I've grown up, loved, learned, and laughed and I can't wait to share my experiences with my online family... Look for the same ol wit and scandalosity (so?! I can make up words) that you always get from "what's the T", and by all means hit me up! And on top of all that, please please please enjoy yourself!
I love you! I love you all! lol
Jared (the one and mothafu**kin only)

p.s. kid creole, hey boo! Darian, whatchu up to? Shawn, Fuzzy, are y'all still like my fave power couple? Y'all betta be! Cocoa Rican? my hubby... nuff said.. Charles, r u still making hisstory? I always liked you.
Peace my nigs!