Thursday, March 22, 2007

I Was Addicted To It, But I Didn't Know It Was Toxic

Yesterday, was a good day for me surprisingly enough...that is until I went to Popeye's. Now first let me say, I LOVE POPEYE'S!!!!! I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!!!!!! I was so excited when I got a coupon book from them, I didn't know what to do. So anyways, I got a coupon for a free 3 piece meal and I hopped on it! I wouldn't dare let it go to waste. So I get to Popeye's (this is at like 3:00 pm mind you) and I order my 3 piece and give the girl the coupon, and get my food, and push. No sooner did I get out of the parking lot did I start destroying what was once a beautiful piece of golden-brown greasy chicken....hmmm.....

At about 7, I was running to the bathroom nonstop doing some very "unlady-like" things, which I won't go into. I am convinced that I have food poisoning....that DAMN POPEYE'S....They are gonna pay for this. You BETTER believe that when I feel like getting up long enough to do anything besides use the bathroom, I am calling their 1800 number to complain. Now of course all they're gonna do is send me a letter of apology, and of course some more coupons (which would just start the whole cycle over again) but I just won't go to that one next time lol!

How about that American Idol last night?! seems like Sanjaya's little rocked out performance kept him above par, and he's on for another week. Oh yeah and at Cocoa Rican..I will not take the bait on that little snide remark you left on my last post....I know Sanjaya's beautiful, but American Idol is not a beauty pageant now is it? If that was the case, Lakisha, Melinda, and Chris would be gone and the very gorgeous Stephanie would still be gracing my television with her well permed hair! But yeah, Sanjaya is hot. We all know it. We all want him...well maybe not as much as you, cuz I don't turn the TV down and jack off when I see him. American Idol is a family show!!!!

Joey B...get in contact with me...we need to paint the town pink on my birthday you hear?! (!

Later people,
I love you...time to get back to my post, which at the current time is leaning over the toilet! Muah!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Morgan State University

I went to Morgan State University today to pay my application fee and speak with an admissions advisor. I was really excited because, despite all of these acceptance letters that I'm getting, Morgan is really want to go. So anyway, I was talking to Mrs. Donovan and she was telling me about how their school was one of the premier schools in Maryland because their computer labs were super updated, their dorms were spacious, their student-teacher ratio was 17:1, and their cafe was ran by a chef that graduated from Le Cordon Bleu...blah blah blah...

Ok so why did I see my friend Amanda in the admissions lobby withdrawing herself from Morgan? First of all, I haven't seen her since last year's graduation, and I didn't even know she was going to this was a pleasant surprise. When I asked her what she was doing, and she told me that she was withdrawing herself, I was even more surprised at her reason...and this surprise wasn't pleasant.

She said that the American Red Cross came to Morgan last week and did a blood drive, and she was on the committee. She said that one of the representatives from the Red Cross said that they never wanted to come back to Morgan because out of all of the people that signed up to give blood, 36% of them tested positive for HIV....and more than half of the people that signed up were male....As Maya from Girlfriends would say..."OH HELL NO!!!!!"

Ok so that's really triflin', but what's more triflin' than that is the fact that I still want to go there LMAO!!!! And anyways, I don't have nothin' to worry about. I'm not gonna be bonin' anybody on campus....I love Leroy too much for that lol...."shameless plug"!

But so anyway, I'ma go now cuz that sorry ass Sanjaya is bout to sing...LATA GIR!!!

Monday, March 19, 2007

Hey Guys

Hey guys! How's everything?! Let me first just say I have become the master of deleting histories and cookies lol. But anyway, what's goin on? Things on this end of the world are really lookin up! I finally payed that damn $900 cell phone bill, and it's finally starting to hit me that my time in this house is finally coming to a close. While my parents are walking on eggshells and having "nervous breakdowns" about what I'm gonna do once I turn grown and sexy, and I'm laughin' all the way to the graduation stage! But anyways...

Why in the FUCK did this girl yell out faggot in the hallway this morning and get cussed out?! Ok so, school starts at 7:15 so naturally I'm tired. And when I'm tired, I hear things lol, but I KNOW I wasn't hearing shit when I heard faggot just tumble out of her damn mouth! So me being the queeny girl I am in the morning, I turned the hell around and was like, "girl, what you say?" and she was like "I just said faggot, what's the problem, are you one?" I was like "HELL YEAH and you might just get your shit broken off for tryin' it with me hunny!" and then she was like "Yeah, whatever, I'll whoop your ass and then get my brother to whoop your ass!" OOOHHH GIRL WHAT!?!? I was like "Girl, when I fuck you up, it's gonna be really sad, and you can get your damn brother, I don't give a fuck. And when I fight, I don't fight clean, I fight DIRTY. SOOO expect to get cut and tazed...bitch!" By this time, a crowd had ensued, and they was all shocked that it was only 7:20 and somebody had already gotten cussed out....DAMN!!! This is why I don't deal with people...shit. But come June 10, 2007. I will be giving Meade Senior High School the deuces...eternally!

Why the hell am I just now watching I Love New York? Let me tell you, I do not love New York. She looks like a sick drag queen and her makeup is horrible. And did you see her mother?! Damn! She looks like Satan from "The Passion of the Christ"!! But that nig Real...he could get it!!!

If Sanjaya lasts another week, I'll murder myself.

That lady Robin Antin from that PussyCat Dolls show is FRESH out of the Botox Factory!

I'm done now I think, but I just want to let you guys know that when I come back blogging on the regular tip, I am re-vamping this whole shit. Be prepared to see Jared in rare form!

Peace and Hair Grease!

Friday, March 16, 2007

It's Friday

Hey guys,
It's Friday, and as another week comes to a close, I look back on my 17th year of life in bittersweetness. I wish that life didn't have to be like this, but it is what it is.

But anyway, enough of that foolishness. I got accepted to Coppin State University today!!! I'm like super ecstatic!!! I don't even know what else to say today! Except, I'm doing really well. My parents are really excited that I'm getting into all of these schools. We're kinda sorta making ground.

Hmm...Prom is on its way and I'm super excited about it!!!

Oh yeah and Cocoa Rican, you are nasty as hell for that comment you left on my last post lol. I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one that uses KY heating gel!!! Let me know when you get to the district!!!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Hey you guys! I guess I'm doing alright considering the circumstances. I'm sitting here at the computer at home and I'm supposed to be writing my 1000 word verisimilitude (look it up hoes) on the 1994 Rwandan genocide that killed more that half a million people, when in all actuality I'm writing a post..tahdah bitches! I told you I wouldn't be a stranger.

Anyways, I just got done watching American Idol and the good news is, I'll get to see more of my little bottom boyfriend Sanjaya next week!!! It's gotta be really depressing to the contestants with talent to see that some kid with no talent is cleaning up week after week. Oh well, I enjoy seeing him.

In other t, I just applied to Clark Atlanta University...Gay Black Mecca here I come lol.

I know you guys are all dying to find out what's going on with the parents...hmm, what can I say? They have turned my whole sexual orientation thing into a "supernatural issue"... Apparantly, my "homoness" is the devil's tool to destroy my entire family....hypocrites....they didn't say that to Uncle Rico (hey Uncle Rico gir!). But anyway, I'm still left high and dry with a wet unemployed pussy, and I'm in the house everyday watching reruns of Girlfriends and that sick PussyCat Dolls show. Pray for me girls, I'm gonna need it.

I miss you guys...hey Trent, I love you. Steven, thank you for not returning my damn emails lol. Joey...hey gir, muah! Cocoa Rican, HEEEEEYY!!!!

Friday, March 9, 2007

Friday Finale...Sort of

Ok so, I usually write my blogs at work, and ever since this whole dramatic season of my life came about, my job has been in jeopardy. Well, it's finally come to an end lol. My parents are making me quit my job at the very prestigious State Farm Insurance company, because they have "trust issues". Therefore, this might (I said MIGHT) be my last post for a little while...Or at least until I figure out how I'm gonna post regularly. Yes, I have a computer at home, but I'm not gonna even attempt to write my "GAY BLOG" in my Christian home...that's all I need, for my parents to find my blog lol...wouldn't that be some shit?! That being said, I won't have my StateFarm email address anymore, so if you want any contact with me, you'll have to email me at (j underscore shanlin @ But it's ok. I'm not gonna let you guys down, and more than that, I'm not gonna let myself down. This blog has been one of the best things that ever happened to me. It has been an outlet that has kept me sane in insane circumstances. And not only that, I have come in contact with some awesome people and I have found out what it means to be a true "Power Gay" lol. Anywho, this is not a sad post at all, cuz as I've said, I SHALL find a way to still post on here...I already have some ideas. So don't delete me out of your favorites yet lol.

So anyway, now that that's out of the way, let's talk about American Idol last night! WTF is going on?! First of all, my fiance' Jared Cotter got cut...I'm ok though. At least he'll be able to spend time with me at home now! But we all know the real nail biter was between the "Sexy non-singin Sanjaya" and the "Singin', not so sexy Sundance". I just KNEW with all my heart that Sanjaya (as cute as he may be) was going home. NOT SO!! It was shocking, but hey I don't care. Just as long as Melinda or Lakisha don't get sent off.

Anyways, I think that's it for right now anyway. If anything comes up during the day, I'll write again, but until next time, love happiness peace and blessings!!!!! Love Jared!

Tuesday, March 6, 2007


Ummm..yea, yesterday I said that I got my phone taken away Saturday, but in all reality, I should've probably got it taken away sooner than that lol. Yesterday when I got off of work I got home and my dad was sitting on the loveseat in the living room with the phone bill in his hand and he looked pissed!!! I was like "OH SHIT here we go!" So I didn't even get in the door good before he was like, "Do you know how much the phone bill is for the last 2 months?" and I was like "No". I knew I had went over, because of the hours I had spent talking to Leroy during on-peak hours lol. But....I had no idea I had went over $900 worth!!! Now, I should've known that this was on the horizon, because Leroy told me last week that his bill was $1000 and I was thinkin' "Bitch, who in the hell are you talking to that much that your bill is $1000?"..LOL, Now I know! I liked at the call records and the majority of the calls were to or from him! I'm not mad though, I guess I'll just have pay up. As much as I wanted to be serious, I couldn't, I just laughed!! It was hilarious to me that my dad was so mad over a bill that he didn't have to pay for! I swear that man is gonna give himself a heart attack! Oh yea, still hasn't found his keys!! teehee!!

In other T, I GOT ACCEPTED TO UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND EASTERN SHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That acceptance letter is my 1-way ticket out of my house! Y'all just don't understand how elated I am! And guess parents still don't know. I didn't want to tell them while there was still tension between us. I'll tell them when we are back on the up and up. So yeah, when I opened that letter and read its contents, I jumped up and down on my bed, and queened out to Beautifal Liar and Get It Out Me, and anything else my iPod threw at me!!! I've kinda given up hope that FIT will send me a letter with a similar message, but if it does come, I'll be queenin out again!

2 days and 3 months people!
Hola to my new readers...I love you people!

Queer Kid, That Dude Right There, Joey, Trent....hey gir!

Monday, March 5, 2007

My Weekend....

By the tone of the post I wrote Friday, you guys could probably tell that I was in an upbeat mood. And I was. But not so when I got home!!! I don't know, something just made me upset when I crossed the line from outside world, to my house. I was SOOO depressed all Friday. I texted Leroy and told him to have a good day at work, and then I turned my phone off for the rest of the night. I just laid in my bed in complete silence, all night. No iPod, no TV, no books, just silence. I didn't cry, I didn't think, I didn't sing, I didn't laugh, I just laid there. My mom came in my room a few times to ask me if I was hungry, and to make sure I didn't kill myself. But I uttered not a word.

It wasn't until Saturday morning at around 10 am that I said to myself, "Jared, what the hell is wrong with you? Get the hell up and do something with yourself. You're hungry and frankly sweetheart, you need to take a shower. Now don't let me have to ask twice!" So...I got up, washed my ass, put on some "play clothes" and finished reading Waiting To Exhale by Terry McMillan (great book by the way). I called Queer Kid, and we talked for a couple hours. I talked to Leroy for a couple hours. I even showed my face to the family and made a sandwich! It was boring around the house though. There wasn't shit to do, so I decided to play my brother in a little Street Vol. 3 on Playstation 2 and show him who was the boss. That got a little addictive though, and when I finally looked at the clock it was like 9:30. I called Leroy and had him on the Bluetooth while I played Playstation. That's when my good day came to an end. My dad came in my room and was like, "What are you doing?" So I was like "Playin' video games." So then he was like "Give me your phone."...that was SOO unexpected, so I just gave it to him. In retrospect, he didn't buy me that phone and I pay my own bill, so I shouldn't have given it to him...too late now I guess. But anyway, I was like "Leroy, I gotta go, I'll call you back later" and then I hung up and gave my dad my phone. I was SOO pissed that I just unplugged the Playstation and went to sleep in my clothes. As I tried to get some sleep, I said to myself "Jared, you need to get out of this house. I don't know how, but bitch you need to think of somethin'. Your parents are crazy as hell, and another thing--" That's when my dad came back in the room and was like "I just talked to that Leroy Johnson person and I told him that if he ever had conversation with you, I will have him arrested"....WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!???? So that's when I was back to my depression induced stupor. I was so upset. I didn't cry though.

So then I woke up Sunday morning, actually feeling refreshed. As I was getting dressed for church, I put on my iPod and I was ROCKIN' in my pink boxer briefs, you hear me?! But then Rainy Dayz by Ja Rule ft. Mary J. Blige came on and I just broke the hell down. Like I cried. At first it was just one of those 2 tear cries, but then it turned into an all out boohoo, snot runnin', loud, eyes red and puffy, funeral cries. I was SO defeated. My mom came in and saw me like that and attempted to hug me, but I would not be consoled. I was thinkin' "BITCH you're the one that put me in this predicament!" But I just let her do the mother thing, and tried to get myself together before I had to go to church. I was fine on the way there, and fine on the walk into the church, but then I broke down yet again, as soon as I got in there. Oh Lord, big mistake....all the church members wanted to hug me and tell me that it was bitch, it's not! So anyways, as church progressed, I got better and I slickly got out of church and called Leroy, and told him what happened, and that I loved him, and I would call him back as soon as shit cleared up.....COMMERCIAL BREAK: I love you Leroy.....Ok so anyway yeah, church let out and I went home and got BACK in the bed and the next time I saw the light of day was this umm....ta da!!! Here I am, lol.

So anyway, my parents have blown me to the point of no return andI don't know what I'm gonna do about my situation as of yet....but for Cocoa Rican's sake and for my own, I'm still smilin'! On a lighter note, one of my best friends, Valarie, saw Paris Bennett (American Idol Season 5) in concert on Saturday, and she thought about me! She not only got Paris's autograph for me, but she called me and put Paris on the phone!!! Let me just say, I am a star-struck BIATCH!!!! This is how our conversation went:

"Hi Jared"
"Oh my God, Paris I LOVE you to pieces! I can't believe I'm talking to you!"
"Thank you so much"
Then she put Valarie back on the phone...I was like, "Bitch, that's all I get?" But I am grateful nonetheless! Thanks a million you lots gir!

Anyway let me go, before I start cryin again and my tears get in my keyboard and short circuit the whole damn computer lol!!!! Just kidding, have a lovely Monday.

LOL...oh yeah, my dad still hasn't found his keys!! hahahaha what a loser! lol.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Just for Cocoa Rican

Dear Mr. Rican,
I read your comment in regards to my BALLIN post. You said "Yeah... we like to see you smilin'... come to think of it it's the first time we've seen you smile - PERIOD!". I was kinda disappointed in myself, because I don't want to portray myself as this mean, world-hating bottom. So, as I sometimes do, I went back through my archives and found pictures of me smiling!!! I am such a happy go lucky person and I want that to be prevalent over my stupid drama. So here are the links to those posts in which I am smiling, just for you pa!!!!!

Thanks for supporting my blog every day Mr. Rican

Love, Jared!!! xoxoxo

Random Fridays

I am so excited about the forth-coming weekend. This week just sped past me. It seems like just yesterday, I was packing up my shit and was on my way out! Well, if you've been reading my previous posts, you'll know that things have gotten a little better, and I'm almost out of the tunnel, and into the LIGHT!!! Anyways, I'm SOOO over that, so kick back, relax, and enjoy my random ass for a few minutes.

  • So I had a "sitcom-y" experience today. I guess that's not uncommon for me, but anyway. So, there's this one new guy that is in 2 of my classes, and I swore he had been staring at me for the last couple days, but whenever I looked at him he would turn away. I had one word for him: TRADE! So there's this guy named Marvin that has been hitting on me all year, but he always gets the same answer time after time, so I don't understand why he just doesn't take the "NO, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" and just leave me the hell alone. Well I guess Mr. Trade New Guy took notice of this everyday occurrence and decided to be a hero today. Marvin, came in for his usual "hey, when are you gonna let me show you how a real man takes care of his business?" and that's when Mr. Trade New Guy came around the corner and put his arm around my shoulder and said "When his boyfriend says so, and since I'm not gonna say so, you might as well get out of here." Marvin got the hell out of my face and that just left me and Mr. Trade New Guy. I thanked him, but I guess he was upset when I walked away. What was left to say?! I have a boyfriend, I love my Leroy, yep yep I love you boy! Hopefully, Marvin won't be around much anymore.
  • I am LIVING for my cousin Beyonce's new videos for Beautiful Liar and Upgrade U!!! She doesn't have to take a rest until she feels like it, cuz I don't get tired of seeing her!
  • I want another tattoo
  • That girl Lakiesha Jones on American Idol lives in Ft. Meade which is 5 minutes away from me!
  • I miss Noah's Arc!!!!!!!!!
  • I love my mother Fantasia and the fact that she's going to be on Broadway, but umm ::cough:: I know that I can't be the only one concerned about her acting skills. I mean did you see her Lifetime movie?! NO SHADE though!
  • 2 months and 7 days until my B'Day!!!
  • I'm done for right now. Enjoy your weekends! Love, happiness, peace, and blessings!!!

Thursday, March 1, 2007


We stay high, no lie, you want it, BALLIN!!!!! I don't know why, but that just came to mind! I actually don't care for that song, but it's one of those songs that you hear from people around the way, your teachers, even your little 8 year old sister! But anyways...that has nothing to do with what I wanted to talk about today, hell, I don't know what I want to talk about today. Just bear with my randomness for a moment and something will come to me!

Both of my tattoos are itching and I ran out of that ointmen--

Hey wait! I just thought of something!! Things at the home-front are getting a little better. I actually had a decent conversation with my parents last night, and it didn't involve cursing, crying, kick-out threats, or...crying! Basically, they had stupid straight people questions and then my dad had a question that pissed me off, but I'll get to that in a minute. But yeah, so they were like: "Why are you gay?", and "Was it something that we did to make you like this?", "Are you happy?". I was totally looking at them like they were full of shit, because last year I wrote about my parents having their speculations about me being gay and sent me to the "spectacular" Richard Cohen...."counselor extraodinaire". Hmm...that didn't last long. But I digress. Back to the question my dad asked. He pulled me to the side because he "didn't want to disappoint my mom". He was like, "I know you're probably having sex, but are you letting whoever it is screw you?" I was like TOTALLY DUMBFOUNDED. That was super embarrassing. I didn't know what to say! So I simply told him no and that was the end of that. As it stands right now, I probably won't get kicked out, (and should've never been nervous and anxious enough to believe that I ever would be) but I have to be on my Ps and Qs for the next 2 months and 8 days!...

Which brings me to my next point. My BIRTHDAY! That big 1-8! I am super excited about it, but I don't know what I want to do. But what I DO know is, if me and Leroy are still together...hmm, trust and believe! "Meet me in my room, it's goin' DOWN!!!" You know what I'm just gonna end this post right now cuz 1) I'm gettin' hot and bothered, and 2) I gotta keep some random shit in the air for tomorrow's random Friday...duh.

See you guys tomorrow...xoxoxo