Kick My "Ask"

So I don't have much to say, but as I usually do on my days off, I was parousing YouTube today and found this funny ass video.. please watch and laugh. I love kids.

I Love Being Gay

So I know my posts are on this weird ass schedule, but I just keep having these ideas and those of you who blog frequently, know that when you have an idea, you better write it and at least draft it because you'll forget.

Anywho, I just love being gay. I really do. I was on BGC last night looking at some of the Forum Posts, and i just smiled and said to myself "These are my people!". Here is a list that I comprised/am in the process of comprising about why I love being gay.

• I love the way gays have this like inate sense of humor and wit. It's just amazing to me.
• I love the way we as gays are so creative when it comes to artistic stuff; art, singing, etc
• I love the way we (those who are out anyway) can just strut down the street and just pump and not care
• I love the fact there is such a dynamic in our community.
• I love the fact that when we as gays have family problems, other gays surround them and we have these familial bonds that are closer than blood.
• I love the way homos have taken over the fashion industry
• I love the way homos have taken over the gospel music industry
• I love the way homos have taken over every industry
• I love when we dress up in drag, girls are envious
• I love the way that even though we will take extreme measures, we are the most image conscious people on earth
• I love the way our culture has evolved into something grand and beautiful
• I love the way the older gays give the younger gays advice

I don't know, just something that came to mind. I'll be adding more as more comes, but in the meantime, you guys can add on if you like

I Wrote This Today

I'm over the whole bf thing... when you're by yourself, it's just a whole lot easier not to get hurt, because if someone else hurts you, you cant help it. If your hurt yourself, you can only be mad at YOURSELF.

Atlanta, the Clark Sisters, and some other Bullshit

So, I'm going to write about my wonderful weekend, parlaying with the Clark Sisters in my soon to be hometown of Atlanta, but first I have some other shit I want to talk about!

First, I've been talking to this guy Black Prose on and off for like almost a year now. Our relationship is interesting because he is a writer, and he's super intelligent and really deep, not to mention, kinda cute. Well, recently, we started talking again after like a 4 month hiatus (due to my recent induction back into the MySpace fam), and here and there we conversed and traded pics, etc. etc. and I was just happy not really getting anything from him but the occasional "howdy." Well, the other day, I got a call from him; or so I thought. It was actually his boyfriend pretending to be BP asking me various questions about how I was, did I think he was sexy, basically trying to get me to tell him what was really going on between me and BP.... he succeeded. I sang like a canary. By accident. Well, at the end of the convo, he says, this is not really BP, this is his boyfriend. I bet you didn't know he had one of those did you. He went on to tell me they had been dating for some time and all this other shit I didn't too much care about... Nonetheless, I contacted him via text saying "Hey, I talked to your boyfriend the other day" and this is the response I received:
"I know... I heard. And I know that I can not talk to you anymore. I never wanted anything from you. The reality is that I wanted everything from my boyfriend. Instead of facing the problem within my relationship, I strayed and ran away else where. My whole problem with me is that I am afraid to face my own demons. I am sorry to hav eled you on because I never wanted anyone but him. So that said, I can't have anything to do with you. And I will not, simply because my bf means too much to me. And right now I am losing him. So goodbye. Please don't call.

His MySpace url is the following: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=43775724

In other news, me and my ex Marcus have been talking alot lately... Now to be 100% honest, I can't say I'm totally over that nigga, but I can function without having a withdrawal breakdown. Well he told me he had sex with this guy that I know and see on a regular basis, and for some reason or another, it bothered me. Even though I've been in relationships and had sex with other people since then, I still can't help but feel some type of way now that this new info has surfaced....

Anyway, on to Atlanta. As you guys all know, 6'4 bought me a ticket to see the Clark Sisters in Atlanta this past weekend and I really enjoyed myself. Prior to me leaving, my grandmother had an emergency and I had to attend to her, so I thought I wouldn't be able to go, but me and some friends bit the bullet and drove from B'more to ATL, and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Atlanta is a beautiful city and I really enojoyed myself being there, and at the concert. Man, those sisters ran and squalled us all into a sick frenzy, and the concert was full of queens. (oh yeah, and I was 7 rows back, so when they sneezed, they could hear me say bless you).... I'm really considering making Atlanta my new home.... Enjoy the pics! I have some more but I can't find the USB cord for my camera... they had pics of me and KiKi Sheard. Now we weren't really allowed to take pics, but I did get a few.

The sisters in all their splendor and glory
Dorinda, Karen, Jacky, Twinkie, KiKi, and Dorinda's Daughter (what's her name??)
Dorinda and Karen
Karen is soooo pretty
Jacky's daughter Angel (backup singer)

Me in prep for the show
Beautiful ATL skyline
Blessed and Highly Favored
Jacky singing "Angels"

Oh yeah and many thanks to Norris for the hotel hookup and making sure I was taken care of.... EAT IT!

Curiosity Killed My Bank Account

Soooo... this is what i get for being nasty. A couple days ago I was doing a PowerPoint presentation for work and I went online to look for some ClipArt just to make my presentation pop. The ones on my computer already were so old and blah, and I needed something new and fresh. So anyway, I think I googled like "cartoon clips" or something like that and the results page provided me a vast array of free clip art to choose from so that I could jazz my slides up a bit.

Well, one thing that did catch my eye on the result page was somthing that said cartoon porn. Curiosity took over and when I clicked the link, I was completely taken aback by what I saw. Pictures and pictures of cartoons that I grew up watching and loving were depicted performing sexual acts on each other... Cartoons like the Simpsons, Family Guy, the Flinstones, Mulan (wtf??). So what did my dumbass do? I purchased a 3-day trial membership for $3.95.

Now, I'm not a big porn person, so I'm always kinda antsy when I make purchases like this because I'm scared to put my credit card info on there, but this purchase wasn't so much about the porn, it was about the intrigue of cartoons I love having sex with each other!!

So after throuroughly reading the terms and conditions and reading that if I did not cancel my subscription to the site within the 3-day trial, I would be charged as a full member at $39.95. So I browsed a bit more, laughed, sat stunned, and was flabbergasted for about 30 minutes and then clicked the link to cancel my subscription... or so I thought.

I checked my bank statement yesterday and saw that I had a charge for $39.95 as well as a charge for $3.95 from the same person.... So you know I called them people and went off right? Not only are they refunding my 39.95 and the 3.95, but they're also paying my overdraft fee lol.... Now what?

I guess my only question would be, am I the only one oblivious to the fact that there is a world of crazy cartoon porn that is really popular enough to have multiple websites? I'll never watch Cartoon Network again.

P.S. you bitches thought I was lying huh?

How Rum and Vodka Ruined My Life

So, Friday was my friend JB's birthday and he had this really cute party at his house which is about 10 minutes away from my own, and after getting off of work that night, I made my way to the party.

When I got there, everybody was eating and laughing and talking and just having a really good time. Excitement filled me to the brim until I saw this guy Christian that I've been diggin' for a long time now.. Chris is maybe 6'2", brown skin, perfect cornrows down to his back, and these piercing black eyes that melt me every time I'm in his presence.

Anyhow, we were all just enjoying each others company and then JB suggested that we play a hearty game of Truth or Dare. Well, that put everyone in that kind of "nervous-y" kind of state that everyone gets in when somebody suggest Truth or Dare, so before we began, they brought out the alcohol.... BIG MISTAKE : - / for me anyways..

Everybody began by taking Happy Birthday shots of Bacardi Melon and Absolut and I was right along with them. My only stupid ass mistake was not eating enough before the drinking started, so I paid the consequences later... I'll get to that in a minute though.

So anyway, back to truth or dare. Due to the alcohol in everyone's system, everybody was in this super bold state and were doing all kinds of dares and baring their souls when truth was picked. ::i.e., one of the dares for me was to have my friend Darien take his ass out and then have me lick a line of cake icing out of his ass...... yeah, so you get the gist of how the tone of the game went.::

The game lasted about an hour and a half and then everybody just was over it and people began to pass out wherever they were. The floor, their chairs, the sofa, the kitchen, etc. Me and Chris were outside on the deck talking and holding hands and giggling and telling jokes and doing the Barack Michelle Fist Pound (mind you I'm like 96.8% drunk at this point) until got really nauceous.... and threw up over the deck..... TWICE. 4 WORDS... IMM BEAR ASS ING! I remember getting really hot, so Chris ran in and got a cold wet towel to wipe my face and mouth, and then he carried my drunk ass to JB's bed. He sat with me and was just talking to me and making sure I wasn't too hot

.::SideBar.... let me tell you what Chris had on... Clean white V-neck tee, Calvin Klein Blazer, True Religion jeans, silver metallic gucci loafers.... yeah he has $$ and can dress his @$$ off....

I suppose I fell asleep for about 10 or 20 minutes, but then woke up and threw up all over JB's bed... Embarrassed again

So Chris picked me up and walked me to the bathroom like in a hug style so that if I had to throw up, the toilet would be within a reasonable distance... unfortunately....I didn't quite make the toilet..... and threw up all of Chris and his nice clothing...

Needless to say, he said he would call me and I haven't received a call yet.

: (

Moral of Story: never date I guy that wears nice clothing so that way when you throw up on him, you won't feel so bad....

In other T, the weather is getting to the scorching level and I'm going to the beach for the 4th of July (VA Beach)... 1) who's coming with? 2) Do you like this bathing suit for me?

FlashBack

Sooo, I do sincerely thank and appreciate everyone for the concern, but White Jesus has delivered me from this smokin demon! Actually, it was never really that intense. It wasnt like I was chain smoking 3 packs a day, it was a more here a smoke, there a smoke, everywhere a smoke, smoke type of thing. Just a few. There were 2 things that stopped me for sure though.... My cousin works for American Outfitters, and for my birthday, he bought me a Michael Kors safari jacket which was absolutely amazing til when I was driving home smokin me a 100, I sneezed and dropped the cigarette on my jacket and now there is a cigarette burn on it.... :-(. Not too happy. Secondly, the cigarettes were making my mouth really dry, and for those who have seen me in person, know that these lips must stay lucious and moist because they are one of my $$$$ makers. I guess I say all of that to say, that the tobacco devil is dealt with and put to rest.

In other T, the reason I haven't posted a lot lately is cuz I haven't really had anything significant happen in my life. Things have been good, but they've been bLaH, so there hasn't been too much interesting stuff going down. I've been wracking my brain for things to write about, but I've just been drawing blanks over and over again. It's ok though, I have a fLaShBaCk for y'all.... Thoughts of Jared in red

Sooo, when I was like 17, I was on this whole "I'm 17, and I love older guys tip"....now don't get me wrong, I still gets life over an aged distinguished gentleman, but it was really bad back then. But anywho, I was working at Gap at the time, and this guy (about 36, 6'1, coffee with cream complected with a low fade, super duperly attractive) walks in and is like, "Hey uhhh, I'm going to a conference for my job, and I need a few outfits to go because it's going to be in Miami and I don't have any summer clothes. You look like you know what you're doing in the fashion department, so could you hook me up?"

ok....ummm... Am I a personal shopper or a sales associate?

So I get him a few polo style golf shirts and some nice linen pants to try on. He takes them and goes to the dressing room and requests that I go back there with him so I can critique each outfit. After coming out of the dressing room with a few of the outfits and getting the JS stamp of approval, he asks me to get him some underwear.....

Wha.. huh?? Ummm ok...

I asked him what kind he liked and he just said that he wanted me to choose....

Fast Azz Jared enter stage right

Now this man's waist had to be about a 35" or 36", but I went and got the smallest pair of boxer briefs Gap has ever sold and went back to the dressing room and was like.. "Ummm, I hope these are the right size" in a coy and shy manner... He put them on and modeled them for me.... I had an orgasm then, and I'm having one right now....

So anyway, after all was said and done, I took his clothing items to the register (he purchased the boxers, hell he had no choice, he put them on)... and rang up his purchase. He gave me his Visa... DECLINED. He gave me his bank card... DECLINED. He gave me is MasterCard....wait for it, wait for it, wait for it... DE-DAMN-CLINED. So after all the shame and embarrassment was wiped off of his face, he finally gave me cash, and his business card, and told me to call him so he could take me on a date after he got back from his trip. Now all of the aforementioned events should've Red Flags, but I was stupider then....

So I got off of work and called... let's call him Broke Business Professional - BBP for short. I called BBP and we spoke for a couple minutes and set up our date which was set to be at Phillip's Seafood Restaurant downtown, one of my favorite restaurants in el Mundo!

FF a week and a half.

We met at the restaurant, I in my best date outfit, he in his....he smelled really good that night too.... Anywho, we laughed, giggled, talked about our families, such and such, blah blah blah, you know, stupid date talk, when all of a sudden as the food was clearing off our plates, and cups were being emptied he got a call on his blackberry that he answered and put the index finger up to signify just a minute.

He stands up and goes to the sitting area and I just sit there finishing the last of the shitload of food I had ordered. Hell, I wasn't paying for it... or so i thought. Do you know that nigga up and left me at the restaurant to pay the bill????

I guess it wouldn't have been so bad if I had money but I didn't, so I had to call my sister and have her bring the money, and what made it worse was I had to tell her how stupid I was.... I still get clowned on for that by her.

I saw BBP at an event my job was doing at the Marriott a couple weeks ago. I look of utter shock and embarrassment controlled his face as I pumped over to him, shook his hand, and kep' it movin'.....lol

Oh yeah, one more thing, I just joined the MySpace family again, so if you have a page, add me!! You can find me by my email, j_shanlin@yahoo.com