Thursday, June 5, 2008


Sooo, I do sincerely thank and appreciate everyone for the concern, but White Jesus has delivered me from this smokin demon! Actually, it was never really that intense. It wasnt like I was chain smoking 3 packs a day, it was a more here a smoke, there a smoke, everywhere a smoke, smoke type of thing. Just a few. There were 2 things that stopped me for sure though.... My cousin works for American Outfitters, and for my birthday, he bought me a Michael Kors safari jacket which was absolutely amazing til when I was driving home smokin me a 100, I sneezed and dropped the cigarette on my jacket and now there is a cigarette burn on it.... :-(. Not too happy. Secondly, the cigarettes were making my mouth really dry, and for those who have seen me in person, know that these lips must stay lucious and moist because they are one of my $$$$ makers. I guess I say all of that to say, that the tobacco devil is dealt with and put to rest.

In other T, the reason I haven't posted a lot lately is cuz I haven't really had anything significant happen in my life. Things have been good, but they've been bLaH, so there hasn't been too much interesting stuff going down. I've been wracking my brain for things to write about, but I've just been drawing blanks over and over again. It's ok though, I have a fLaShBaCk for y'all.... Thoughts of Jared in red

Sooo, when I was like 17, I was on this whole "I'm 17, and I love older guys tip" don't get me wrong, I still gets life over an aged distinguished gentleman, but it was really bad back then. But anywho, I was working at Gap at the time, and this guy (about 36, 6'1, coffee with cream complected with a low fade, super duperly attractive) walks in and is like, "Hey uhhh, I'm going to a conference for my job, and I need a few outfits to go because it's going to be in Miami and I don't have any summer clothes. You look like you know what you're doing in the fashion department, so could you hook me up?"

ok....ummm... Am I a personal shopper or a sales associate?

So I get him a few polo style golf shirts and some nice linen pants to try on. He takes them and goes to the dressing room and requests that I go back there with him so I can critique each outfit. After coming out of the dressing room with a few of the outfits and getting the JS stamp of approval, he asks me to get him some underwear.....

Wha.. huh?? Ummm ok...

I asked him what kind he liked and he just said that he wanted me to choose....

Fast Azz Jared enter stage right

Now this man's waist had to be about a 35" or 36", but I went and got the smallest pair of boxer briefs Gap has ever sold and went back to the dressing room and was like.. "Ummm, I hope these are the right size" in a coy and shy manner... He put them on and modeled them for me.... I had an orgasm then, and I'm having one right now....

So anyway, after all was said and done, I took his clothing items to the register (he purchased the boxers, hell he had no choice, he put them on)... and rang up his purchase. He gave me his Visa... DECLINED. He gave me his bank card... DECLINED. He gave me is MasterCard....wait for it, wait for it, wait for it... DE-DAMN-CLINED. So after all the shame and embarrassment was wiped off of his face, he finally gave me cash, and his business card, and told me to call him so he could take me on a date after he got back from his trip. Now all of the aforementioned events should've Red Flags, but I was stupider then....

So I got off of work and called... let's call him Broke Business Professional - BBP for short. I called BBP and we spoke for a couple minutes and set up our date which was set to be at Phillip's Seafood Restaurant downtown, one of my favorite restaurants in el Mundo!

FF a week and a half.

We met at the restaurant, I in my best date outfit, he in his....he smelled really good that night too.... Anywho, we laughed, giggled, talked about our families, such and such, blah blah blah, you know, stupid date talk, when all of a sudden as the food was clearing off our plates, and cups were being emptied he got a call on his blackberry that he answered and put the index finger up to signify just a minute.

He stands up and goes to the sitting area and I just sit there finishing the last of the shitload of food I had ordered. Hell, I wasn't paying for it... or so i thought. Do you know that nigga up and left me at the restaurant to pay the bill????

I guess it wouldn't have been so bad if I had money but I didn't, so I had to call my sister and have her bring the money, and what made it worse was I had to tell her how stupid I was.... I still get clowned on for that by her.

I saw BBP at an event my job was doing at the Marriott a couple weeks ago. I look of utter shock and embarrassment controlled his face as I pumped over to him, shook his hand, and kep' it movin'

Oh yeah, one more thing, I just joined the MySpace family again, so if you have a page, add me!! You can find me by my email,


YoungBlack&DL said...

LMAO...Okay J, it was you who told me, that I'm just like you, and I have to say after reading this post, maybe your right. Now I've never been left hanging like you were as far as the bill goes (side bar, he had three card decline, did you really think he had money to eat out?), but the whole department store experience for a minute I thought it was me.

I used to work in a department while I was in high school, and the beginning of college. Now there was a lot I did and didn't like about working in a store, but the one thing I loved was working in the Men's department and having experiences like this. I used to love the helping them pick out things, just liek this.

Ooh the stories that I can tell, one also involving underwear, well a couple involving underwear, but one in particular involving underwear, and a guy who couldn't speak much English, and didn't know the American sizes, and wanted me to help him figure it out. *wink, wink*

Damn, make a man what to go back to working at the mall...hmmmm memories.

Oh and good on the quite smoking thing. Just like a gay man to quit, not because of health issues, but because of fashion issues.

Darius T. Williams said...

Hey Mama - lol...I'm on myspace too. Look me up dammit!

I'm glad that dayum smoking spirit has been put to rest. God done up and gave you ONE MORE CHANCE!!!


D.LavarJames said...

I can't believe people actually do things like that to other people, what a scuzz bucket, but it was good that u were polite and kept it movin when u saw him again



fuzzy said...

Just did a shout for your deliverance!!! AAayyyy Glory!!!

I think you are on my myspace but if not add me,
I won't be online till this afternoon and I will forget! lol

One Man’s Opinion said...

Good story. No sex, but still good. LOL. Serves you right for being unprofessional. LOL

That Dude Right There said...

Smoking will fuck you so i'm glad you nip that in the bud.

And sweetie, always carry your own money on a date with ANYONE! You know these bastards can be shady as hell.

WhozHe said...

Good deal, no more smoking. You'll live longer.

Nice story to learn from.

Ty said...

I've been left high and dry before with some friends when we've gone out to eat before. Always the first ones to put their money down and try to leave, knowing that their two entrees didn't cost $10. But anyway I digress. Glad to hear that you kicked the smoking demon.