Monday, June 9, 2008

How Rum and Vodka Ruined My Life






















So, Friday was my friend JB's birthday and he had this really cute party at his house which is about 10 minutes away from my own, and after getting off of work that night, I made my way to the party.


When I got there, everybody was eating and laughing and talking and just having a really good time. Excitement filled me to the brim until I saw this guy Christian that I've been diggin' for a long time now.. Chris is maybe 6'2", brown skin, perfect cornrows down to his back, and these piercing black eyes that melt me every time I'm in his presence.


Anyhow, we were all just enjoying each others company and then JB suggested that we play a hearty game of Truth or Dare. Well, that put everyone in that kind of "nervous-y" kind of state that everyone gets in when somebody suggest Truth or Dare, so before we began, they brought out the alcohol.... BIG MISTAKE : - / for me anyways..


Everybody began by taking Happy Birthday shots of Bacardi Melon and Absolut and I was right along with them. My only stupid ass mistake was not eating enough before the drinking started, so I paid the consequences later... I'll get to that in a minute though.


So anyway, back to truth or dare. Due to the alcohol in everyone's system, everybody was in this super bold state and were doing all kinds of dares and baring their souls when truth was picked. ::i.e., one of the dares for me was to have my friend Darien take his ass out and then have me lick a line of cake icing out of his ass...... yeah, so you get the gist of how the tone of the game went.::


The game lasted about an hour and a half and then everybody just was over it and people began to pass out wherever they were. The floor, their chairs, the sofa, the kitchen, etc. Me and Chris were outside on the deck talking and holding hands and giggling and telling jokes and doing the Barack Michelle Fist Pound (mind you I'm like 96.8% drunk at this point) until got really nauceous.... and threw up over the deck..... TWICE. 4 WORDS... IMM BEAR ASS ING! I remember getting really hot, so Chris ran in and got a cold wet towel to wipe my face and mouth, and then he carried my drunk ass to JB's bed. He sat with me and was just talking to me and making sure I wasn't too hot


.::SideBar.... let me tell you what Chris had on... Clean white V-neck tee, Calvin Klein Blazer, True Religion jeans, silver metallic gucci loafers.... yeah he has $$ and can dress his @$$ off....


I suppose I fell asleep for about 10 or 20 minutes, but then woke up and threw up all over JB's bed... Embarrassed again


So Chris picked me up and walked me to the bathroom like in a hug style so that if I had to throw up, the toilet would be within a reasonable distance... unfortunately....I didn't quite make the toilet..... and threw up all of Chris and his nice clothing...


Needless to say, he said he would call me and I haven't received a call yet.


: (


Moral of Story: never date I guy that wears nice clothing so that way when you throw up on him, you won't feel so bad....


In other T, the weather is getting to the scorching level and I'm going to the beach for the 4th of July (VA Beach)... 1) who's coming with? 2) Do you like this bathing suit for me?

8 comments:

bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

OOOO NOOOO!!! Yo Imma have to teach you how to drink baby boy. I remember those crazy dayz when I was young and just drinkin everything fast as hell. It's the worst feeling to get all sick like that. Damn yo be safe pappo!

~Damnit!

Mr. Jones said...

Jared, Jared, Jared. I thought I taught you better than that. Pace yourself when you drink, hon.

Now, you have to do a bit of PR work.

Call Chris and apologize profusely. Offer to pay his dry cleaning bill. If he has an ounce of class he'll decline and say...no, really. It's ok. Don't wait for him to call you. You have to keep trying (but don't try multiple times per day...you'd be doing too much) if you don't get him. A text/voicemail won't suffice here.

Call your friend and do the same.

And remember to pace yourself next time, boy. LOL.

Cocoa Rican said...

Boi, I woulda beat your natural ass if you woulda thrown up on my bed and my shit! That said, it's so cute that he was there to comfort you...unfortunately, no one is lookin' for kissin' a vomit-filled mouth...regardless how pretty it may appear.

That bathing suit would look GRRRRRREAT on you, since you have a tiny waist, PHAT ass and nice thighs...I mean, I say this as an Uncle of course. ;)

C. Baptiste-Williams said...

a blazer in the middle of this hot ass summer... fashion no no

and you should be the one calling Chris to treat him to lunch or to some free dry cleaning

Darius T. Williams said...

Yea, everyone's pretty much read you bootz - you know better. Nice young Christians don't do this kind of stuff. But, we want the update on Chris though.

Diego R. Wyatt said...

lol...awww that was sweet of him to carry you to the bathroom, I am just glad you didn't vomit on him or something lol...lay off the alcohol it causes trouble lol and lovehandles...

j_shanlin said...

@ B&M... Im done drinking for a while

@ Mr. Jones...Lesson learned. I love you! I can always count on you!

@ Unc.. you would be the one to bring violence to my page huh?

@CBW... hey long time no talk to! We need to have a conversation!

@DTW... Didnt these queens read me down!?

@ Diego.. I did throw up on him! lol!

Joey Bahamas said...

That was not cunt at allllllzzzzzz lil sis...but it's a lesson learned. When there are crushes in your presence, you always go light on the drinking and heavy on the ovahness...no shade