Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Karma is the Bitch of all Bitches

So... It's like the circle never ends; You do something wrong to somebody and that shit comes back on your ass. The fucked up part about it though is that, when the proverbial "shit comes back on your ass" you don't even know what it's for.

I guess I should begin the story, so ladies and gents, here goes.

About a month and a half ago, this guy hit me up on BGC with like all these private pictures, and he was just the typical internet scrubs that they can make it in this male-dominant, visually stimulated community without showing face. So anyway, dude is like "wassup shawty, u real sexy blahzay blahzay blah... I'll see you at work tomorrow"...WHOA WHOA WHOA! HUH? I'll see you at work tomorrow? HWHAT?

So at this point my mind was racing trying to figure out who this dude was... I responded to him saying "ohawright, that's cool... have I ever seen you before?" to which he reponded "probably not, I work on the other side of the building".

Basically, our conversation went like that until finally, he opened his private pictures. Now, he was correct, I had never seen him before, but oh was he fine.

Next day, dude(let's call him 6'4).. walks by my cube and winks at me... oh, to relive that moment. I felt like a stupid school with her first crush. That's kinda how I've been feeling with every new guy I deal with after my bounce back from Leroy.

So anyway, we start talking on the regular for a few weeks, and before you know it, I was actually starting to like this 27 year old, 6 foot 4, bald, dark chocolate piece of testosterone charged and infused man. Yeah, I said it: 27. Moving right along.

6'4 called me about 3 weeks in to our cute little situation and was like "Look, I'm really starting to get attached to you. I like your personality your wit blah blah blah... The only thing is, you're young. You're almost 10 years younger than me, and I've never dated this young. If we start dating, I want you to be straightforward and honest with me. I wanna be with you for the long run. I don't want you to play games with me because I'm too old for that and blah blah fuckin blah...

I agreed to all his terms and conditions and was very happy that somebody else finally understood what I was looking for and mirrored it. Somebody Gets It!

After that, I was kinda sprung. I have to admit. I was thinkin' about all this cute stuff we could do on Valentine's Day and his birthday and all this other cutesy shit (by the way, this is sooo rare because I am by no stretch of the imagination romantic or "lovey dovey").

So then the inevitable happened.... I spent the night. Yes it was the inevitable. I went over there on a Friday night, and that was one of the best Fridays ever. I left work at 7 and when I got to the door, he was already cookin... This man can burn. He made salmon steaks with greens and brown rice... the hungry bitch within came out really fast! We just ate and watched movies all night and laughed and talked and hugged and cuddled and shared. It was wonderful. (oh yeah and we had sex too. the sex was good too. I mean good. Like real good. A little painful, but good.)

Saturday morning, he cooked again. Morning after sex breakfast is always the best breakfast, cuz the munchies are bad as a muhfucka. He made bacon and eggs and biscuits and potatoes and we ate these popsicles that I called 'liquid crax' because they were so damn addictive.

That day we watched some more movies and had some more great conversation, and I was just content that this was the best weekend I had had in a long while. We talked about everything, including the problems me and my parents were having and stories about my car and even that I didn't go to my prom.

After that, I fell asleep, and when I woke up, 6'4 had on a long sleeved button up and some dress pants (I'm still in my tank top and boxer briefs mind you), so I asked him where he was going. Get this guys. He told me he wasn't going anywhere, but he was taking me to the prom I never had. He put on some slow jamz and we just danced the entire night away and I just cried and cried(and then I "lost my virginity on my prom night" lol)

This guy is great right? And that's not even all. Because my car is new and I hadn't received my registration, I didn't have my validation stickers on my license plates, therefore my car got towed. Now this happened that Friday night but i didn't realize it until Saturday night when I was getting ready to leave. To get my car out of the tow lot, it cost $220, but I only had $100 at the time. 6'4 gave me the remaining $120 and even told me I didn't have to give it back to him! Like, where did this guy come from??

I got home and went to sleep really happy about my weekend and when I woke up Sunday, I called him up to tell him so. We didn't talk much Sunday though, because he was working some overtime so he was busy, but then came Monday.

Monday 6'4 called me and was like "We need to talk". So I'm like "about what?". Then he proceeded to go into how he was still feelin his ex and how I reminded him of his ex but I was no substitute and he was trying to make me one, and how he was reaally sorry and all this other stuff.....

So now I'm pissed and I'm ready to put on my silver wig and my white contacts and go Storm on his ass.

But then I got to thinkin'. I can't be mad at him because of how he feels, cuz that's how he feels. I'm just mad that he had this whole conversation with me about being mature and not playing games and not leading him on, but then he turned right around and did everything that he asked me not to do... which is also why I was thinking "is this karma coming back on me for something? what the hell did I do?"

This is also why I posted that "Don't YOu Hate It When..." post. But ultimately the funny part is... he's still calling me asking me to hang out and fuck...I'm like bitch, ask you're ex! Like what the fuck? Am I like some blowup doll or something that you just call when you need to bust?? Aaaabsolutely not. At this point, I wouldn't even piss on him of he was on fire, and the wrath of Jared Abraham Shanklin scorned is second to noone's.

I think I'm going to become a lesbian....

8 comments:

Unknown said...

Wow...you said a mouthful...prolly had a mouthful too...LOL
That said pa, it was too quick after copping that booty for him to realize you remind him of his ex and he needed to revisit the ex...so he's dead wrong for going there...especially after giving the diatribe about honesty, keepin' it real and bullshyt...that said, you're doing the right thing by not letting him enjoy anymore of that marmalade....he doesn't deserve the top shelf shit. Now, if you need me to bring down my step ladder and whop some triflin' twenties azz for turnin' my baby out, let me know! Hate some slick triflin' kiddie shit...
Let him know NY said, "Not on my watch kid!"

Anonymous said...

The X factor is a strong one
kid...shit..many of us in this
life is still creepin with our
X's,is it right..nah,is it mentally
healthy,nah....but it is a fact
of this life....right now ,dont
be mad,but do step back on your
emotions and prepare for the worst,
come on now,you dont want to hit
up some of your X's though you
know they got O's...and please
do not become a lesbian,that
shit is just disgusting,remain
focused,act like a grown ass man,
and move on...manchild

Anonymous said...

Oh and watch them jumpoffs...
this aint the 90's manchild

Anonymous said...

Jared we already talked about this.

I kinda feel like, and this make sting a little, he was using you for validation. And that's the messed up part about it. I'm getting fustrated right now, because you're my friend and I hate seeing stuff like this happen to good people. Don't think for one second that this is karma. Because you're amount of good will always outweight your negatives.

And you've been hurt too many times.

I need to go...I need to go...

Darius T. Williams said...

Don't we love Cocoa - I want him to be my father (not that he's old or anything) but he just gives the best advice.

Okay - anyway - so yea, this situation is fucked up. But, listen - you gotta take these things as they come. I know it was only 3 weeks into the um...conglomeration - but you have to learn how to be very careful that your feelings don't get caught up into something just because it feels good and looks good. First - the boy was on BGC with private pictures and couldn't really even tell you who he was - you know, acting a fool at that point. Then he put out way too much too soon - if someone is trying to cook for you and it's your first time spending a night - watch out - it's a sign that something's trying to be built on a foundation that isn't steady just yet. It's been um 4 months and I STILL haven't cooked for Jason. Not that I'm making him wait or anything - but, what's the rush, ya know? Lastly, he knew you from work. NNNNOOOOOOO! Them work relationships don't work. They never have and they never will. Now, if you're dating someone BEFORE they come to work in your office that's a different story.

Anyway, you're young, vibrant, and saved - you'll bounce back. Just remember don't get soooo caught up that you miss the signs. You do know that warning comes before destruction, right?

Mr. Jones said...

Sweetie, the best advice I can give an give you is to flip your hair and move on. Fuck him.

Joey Bahamas said...

Absolutely unacceptable!!!!

Monie said...

"So now I'm pissed and I'm ready to put on my silver wig and my white contacts and go Storm on his ass."

This line killed me. LMAO!