Reflective Thinking for 2006

Hmm....2006....what can I say? Like every year about this time I always try and sit and think "What the hell happened this year?" and "Why is next year like less than a week away?" and "What the hell is gonna happen next year?" So I always write about it in this "secret journal" that I have stashed away in my bedroom so that my parents just don't "happen to be in my room and read it" (hey that happened this year). So I guess, here is a quick play-by-play of what happened for me this year.

January - I felt refreshed an renewed for a new year. I went on a MAJOR shopping trip. Me and my ex were still together. Me and my parents weren't prepared to go through the hell we went through this year.

February - My daddy's birthday on the 18th. I was SO ready to get out of 11th grade. I came out at school. Me and my ex celebrated our one year anniversary, but I was already SO done with the relationship.

March - My parents "just happened to be in my room" and found my journal. They found out I was having sex, but I kept my writings gender neutral, so they thought I was having sex with a girl. They were mad that I didn't tell them that I had a "girlfriend". We had "THE TALK". I was like "Come on I'm 16 and I'm already having sex. I thought 'the talk' only worked if you weren't having sex." Oh yea my lil sister's birthda on the 10th. Go lil sis!

April - My parents did some more snooping and found my porno collection...yea....umm....wasn't exactly what they expected....umm.. so yea. What can I say? Later on that month they also found some nude pictures of me! oops, my bad! I meant to give those to my ex on Valentine's Day, but I forgot where I hid them. Apparantly my parents didn't. Now I probably could've gotten away with it if it hadn't been for them nasty messages I had put on the back such as.....well nevermind. Don't wanna put myself out there like that..lol. Umm..I started "counseling" with Richard Cohen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Cohen_(therapist)). He fed me some serious BULL! I was not eating it. I am convinced he is still gay too. I bet if Tyson or LL came up in there he would have his mouth all up on the dick!

May - I told my parents that I was NOT going to anymore stupid ass counseling sessions with Mr. Cohen, so they could stop wasting their money! It was almost my birthday so I was looking for a "freakum dress" so I could be flyy on my birthday. My ex and I took a break cuz he was gonna lose his life if we kept going the way we were going....I met "booby". I showed my ASS on my birthday (5/9)...literally..sike just kidding lol. I had a lil birthday party. I found out we were going on a family cruise in June.

June - SCHOOL LET OUT! I applied to Gap. I got the job. I applied to StateFarm Insurance. I got the job. I went on my cruise!!! I saw a lot of shirtless men! I ate my ass off! I bought a lot of jewelry and watches. The people in Haiti thought I was Usher and asked me for my autograph. I gave it to them. I even sang a few bars of "Yeah". The Haitians went WILD! My mom told me to stop! LMAO.that was so much fun. No word from my parents about the whole gay issue.

July - I started at Gap and Statefarm. Me and "booby" did it on the 13th for the first time ; )!!! I was like YES!!! My brother's birthday on the 17th. Still, no word from my parents about the whole gay issue.

August - Getting ready for school to start..07 ho! Me and Reggie and Kordale officially became best friends. The guy that called me a faggot all last year, now wants to lick my ass...I tell him to go fuck himself. Me being gay is officially non-existent to my parents.

September - B'day came out and I like to have sold my soul to Satan to get it. I got my Driver's License. Ever since I've been tearin' Route 100 UP!!!

October - Hearin' all this stuff about Dreamgirls. Me and "booby" are talkin heavy but nothin's official. I got a new car on the 13th....totaled it on the 18th!! oops, my bad! Parents are SUPER PISSED!

November: Getting ready to see Dreamgirls. Waiting for Thanksgiving. Me and "Booby" spent Thanksgiving together! I spent Thanksgiving night at a co-worker's house. Barbara, Maurice...hey gir! What's the T gir?! I started blogging on the 13th after reading Darian's blog.

December: I go to Bonefish Grill on the the 17th and get totally WASTED!!! (good thing I didn't have to drive home!!) Mommy's birthday on the 15th. She's 40, and looks good if I do say so myself! I break my phone in half on the 2nd. I spent like $500 total in clothes this month...oops, my bad! "Booby" comes home for the Holiday break and we spend a lot of time together. I see Dreamgirls twice. I'm sitting here writing about 2006..lol.

I guess that's it. At the beginning of the year I feel like I was so young. Now I feel all old. hmm...the difference 363 days can make. Oh well...enjoy the last couple days of your year!

Dreamgirls Soundtrack

Ok so, why did I have to fight this bitch at Circuit City for the last copy of the "Dreamgirls" soundtrack? I had just seen the movie and I was like "Oh hell yeah, I'm gettin that shit!" But, wouldn't it be just my luck that they only had one left! So I go to grab it and this other lil bald headed woman ran up and snatched it. I was like "Oh no girl, don't play me!" and she was like "Whatever, it's mine!" so then I was like "Girl Please!" and then she was like "Get outta my face!" So I knew I wasn't gonna win that easily. I pulled out my keychain and showed her my mase. She KNEW it wasn't a game after that. She gon' say "Well, I didn't really want it anyway." I was like uh-huh...yea. So needless to say I've been rockin to the sounds of Dreamgirls all morning! You gotta show bitches that it's not a game sometimes!

Dreamgirls

I know I said I wasn't gonna post until next year, but I just couldn't resist! I saw Dreamgirls! 3 times! I am just without words for that movie. I loved EVERY MINUTE of it, from the first song to the last song. Ok now first let me say, everyone has been asking me, "Did you like your girlfriend?"(in reference to Beyonce'). I have to say no, Beyonce didn't do it for me at ALL. Jennifer Hudson is the one that gave me MULTIPLE ORGASMS. I have never been to a movie where an actor or an actress sang a song and got a STANDING OVATION. When Jennifer sang "And I Am Telilng You I'm Not Going" I stood my happy, gay ass up and clapped! I was just so impressed with her and every song she sang; Love You I Do, One Night Only. And did she look fierce or did she look fierce? She looked FIERCE! And she is such a good actress! Her role was so believeable.
I thought Anika Noni Rose was gonna get on my nerves the whole time, but she was actually kind of humorous. Oh yea, and Jamie Foxx.........he was delectable. I wanted to lick him.
The whole movie was so believable and I loved how it tied a bunch of stories that I loved together, but under the radar. I saw a little bit of Ray, a little bit of the Destiny's Child story, and even a little bit of "What's Love Got To Do With It".
Oh and I can't talk about the movie without talking about the wardrobe! AWESOME! The costume designer was a BAD BIATCH!!!! Oh yea and did you catch the drag queens? It was in the part when Deena and the dreams stole "One Night Only" from Effie and they were doing the disco version in the club. Ha..I laughed. Oh, and did y'all hear Ms. Knowles say "fuckin bullshit"? I was like uh-uh no she didn't!
So, if you're still reading, you are really one of my friends because I am really having mouth diarrhea right now. I don't even know what else to say. I LOVED THIS MOVIE AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE DVD TO COME OUT!!! Please see it if you haven't done so yet!

Holiday Time!

You know what? I got up today and I didn't even feel like writing or thinking about Beyonce' like I said I was going to. So I'm not. This has been a very interesting year to say the least. I officially came out to my parents. I realized that I am a better person than I give myself credit for. I realized that I don't have time for a lot of people that I thought I did. I realized that life is a whole lot worse for a lot of people, so I shouldn't complain. I guess if I had to make a New Year's Resolution, it woud be to learn more about myself and love myself, cuz as Foxy Brown said "ain't nobody gonna fuck me like me!"...Happy Holidays everybody, I'll see you in 2007! xoxoxoxo

-Jared

My Brief Dancing Career

Everytime I go on Darian's page (http://loldarian.blogspot.com), I always laugh when he talks about dancing, cuz I remember my brief dancing career. LMAO let me change that: my brief dancing stint. When I was 16, I took up ballet and it was like the biggest mistake I coulda made. I had this German dance instructor. She was a total bitch. She made us call her Headmistress Wingley. Now mind you, I'm like 6'1 and I weigh probably 130 pounds, so I was the tallest, lankiest, clumsiest thing around. It was a mess. I wasn't flexible enough to do the moves and I was too busy being a comedian than dancing. She used to hit my knees with this cane. It was horrible. She used to wear my knees out with that cane. I remember one time me and my ex-boyfriend were talking dirty on the phone and when I got to class I had a hard-on. I had to put on my tights and those tights showed everything! The class was laughing at me...4 words em bar ass ing! But anyway, I have so much respect for dancers, especially those who do it professionally. I wish there were more outlets for them dance and make money. It's so hard for people to do what they love these days. Well...anyway, I'll probably talk about my love/hate relationship with Beyonce' tomorrow because my friends are calling me hypocrites! I don't appreciate it! Beyonce' is just giving me too much of a good thing. Look out for that tomorrow.

How Would it Feel to be Gay Pt. 3

Ok so, I had my meeting with the principal at school today, and it lasted 2 hours! It was pretty funny actually. Since I knew that I was going to have this meeting, I had to get a new outfit, so last night, I hit up H&M and spent like 120 bucks. I am fierce today, you hear me? Fierce. (Ya'll KNOW I had to sneak that in!). So anyways, I get in her office 7:30 sharp, and she's like "juice, coffee?" Inside, I was like "hellz no bitch, let's get to business", but on the outside I politely gave her the "No thanks." So then, she proceeded to ask me if I knew why I was called to the meeting and blah blah blah. Now by this time, the meeting had been going on for 15 minutes and I was pissed for 2 reasons. 1: She hadn't said anything about the issue at hand 2: That bitch didn't even comment on my outfit! So, she continues to blah blah blah until she FINALLY gets to the meat of the problem. She pulls out my infamous paper and she was like "There seems to be an issue with you and the assignment that your Creative Writing teacher gave you. Why is that?" Haha that bitch gave me free reign at that point! I was like
"First of all, that question was so offensive on so many fronts. What if you were gay and you had that topic posed to you in a class? I'm sure that you would be offended, and I can say this because you were offended when the rumors about your breast cancer got spread around the school. The reason why I carried myself the way I did, which by the way was very professional, is because I was shocked and I panicked."
"I understand that, and I was not aware of this situation. Had I known, I would've had that stopped. On behalf of the faculty and staff at **** Senior High School, I apologize.

so by this point i'm kind of satisfied, until she said---

"But, your grade will not be changed. Your failing grade for that assignment stands. If you felt offended, so did we when you insinuated(did I spell that right?) that we would purposefully offend our students. Your teacher felt that you did not answer the question, so that's what she based your grade on.

BITCH WHAT? OH UH-UH! IT'S ON!

So by that point I was DONE with this meeting. I got up and we exchanged pleasantries, and she even said something about my clothes, but as I said before, I was DONE! So needless to say, I'm calling the school board tomorrow, and there WILL be a part 4 to this! Sheeeit! I shouldn't EVEN be going through this bull! By the way, those quotations were word 4 word cuz I was taping her! I knew that damn tape recorder would come in handy! Smile Bitch! You're on Jared's camera! So, I'm goin out tonight and just post up cuz I don't need to be at home when I look this good. I'm tryin to get bodied...I need to call my "booby". I'll holla at ya'll lata!

How Would it Feel to be Gay - Pt. 2

Ok so sorry I left you guys hangin on the whole creative writing, How Would it Feel to be Gay thing, but I did right it and I was waiting to get my grade. I totally failed!! So Bob, tell him what he's won! Well, he's won a trip to the principal's office! Whoooooooo! My paper was all of one paragraph, and I think that I said more in that little paragraph than I ever could've in a whole 3 pages. So I know the burning question in everyone's mind is, "Well what the fuck did he write?". Here it is ladies and gentlemen.

How Would it Feel to be Gay?

How would it feel to be gay? That's a question that was meant to be deep, but doesn't merit a deep answer. The question doesn't even seem like a fully thought out one, but I won't get into that, as it would draw out something that doesn't need to be and shouldn't be drawn out. I know first hand how it feels to be gay because I am gay. SURPRISE! Being gay feels stupid and degrading when you have to write a non-sensical essay on how it feels to be such. I propose that next week's topic should be "How Would it Feel to be Black" or "How Would it Feel to be on Welfare" so that the faculty and administration can offend and/or piss off more students.

And that's it! That's my paper! Isn't that exiting!!!!! So tomorrow I have a meeting with my principal. This is just utterly PEACHY! I can't wait! I'll bring you Part 3 tomorrow after my meeting. Pray 4 me! lol.

The day that I saw this was the day that I saw this was the day that I officially fell in love with Fantasia! Enjoy

Jennifer got the heart, Beyonce' dont!

I've been on the edge of my seat in anticipation for the movie Dreamgirls for a while now, and as Christmas approaches, I get more and more excited. Now, of course, there have been numerous articles and TV specials about the movie which provide plenty of movie stills. But, none stands out in my mind more than the one you're about to see (or that you're looking at right now lol). Evertime somebody says Dreamgirls, I think of this image. It is sooo funny to me. I saw the scene that this particular shot came from on Oprah, and it's where the Dreams are being punked by this other girl group. The dreams get nervous and Deena (Beyonce') suggests that they make revisions to their wardrobe. But pay attention to this picture, Beyonce' and Anika are lookin' all scared and nervous (not to mention Beyonce' looks like a cat). But look at our golden girl Jennifer Hudson. she is lookin at that other girl group like "I don't give a fuck! Do I look like I give a fuck?" Just something I picked up on. Maybe I'm wrong, but Beyonce' does look like the type to get her ass whooped an be all scared in a confrontation. Who knows, I don't know her personally, but I bet if 3LW (wait, bad example)....umm TLC confronted Destiny's Child, Beyonce' would run and get Daddy Knowles...lol..enjoy.

Algebra 2 Test

Ok so, I was scared that I was gonna fail an Algebra 2 test that I didn't take, because I didn't know how to do like half of the stuff on there. BUT...the Lord made a way ::hallelujah:: The teacher handed the tests back to the people that did take it, and my girl Laniesha gave me her copy, so, I'll be studying off of that!!! Now wouldn't that be some ironic karma shit if she changed the test and I still failed??

Shout outs to my girl Tambilicious! Tambi Up, Haters Down!

Don't You Hate it When...

Don't you hate it when?...

1. You're out with your gay friends and people always stare at you.
2. You're intimidated by the "gangstas" and "playas" so you divert your eyes so they won't see you.
3. You have stuff on your face, but NOBODY will tell you, and you look like a fool for the ENTIRE DAY.
4. One of your friends talks trash to you about one of your other friends and vise-versa, and you feel horrible.
5. You don't have ANYTHING to wear.
6. Because you have nothing to wear, you don't want to go anywhere.
7. Your friends tell you the harsh truth about yourself.
8. They tell you the harsh truth about yourself, but when you try to return the favor they get defensive.
9. The person you really like is in college almost 2 hours away.
10. You have a wedgie, but you're standing in front of a whole bunch of people, so you can't do anything about it.
11. When the choir at church SUCKS!
12. When the choir at church SUCKS! and they believe in the name of Jesus that they're the shit!
13. Your ex-boyfriend walks past your job, hoping that he'll get a chance to explain himself.
14. When You don't give him that chance, he walks past your job with another boy and tries to make you feel bad.
15. The neigbor's dog shits in your yard and you have to clean it up.
16. You bring home the left-overs of your food from T.G.I. Friday's and you're expecting to eat it later, but when you want it, it's gone.
17. It seems like everybody's seen RENT except for you.
18. You've been watching "My So Called Life" for like 2 years, and you've just realized that the gay guy was Wilson Cruz.
19. Somebody steps on YOUR shoes and THEY get an attitude.
20. You just bought the Fantasia CD last week and it's already skipping cuz you play it all the time.

I hate when this stuff happens....

Happy Monday!!

Happy Monday everybody!!! I hope everybody had a delightful weekend! My weekend was a trip and a half. On Friday, me and my dad got into it real bad because he said some pretty ignorant things to me, so I felt obligated to cuss him out! He didn't like that too much. OH WELL! Basically, he indirectly called me a fag, and you know I don't play that mess! But isn't it ironic that I had to ask him to take me to work because I didn't have any gas in my car?! Oops, my bad.
Saturday, my "booby" came home from college and after I got off of work at like 12, it was ON! I needed it too, because those customers at my part-time job (Gap Outlet) almost caused me to have a psychotic episode! Case in point, this lady had this brochure that comes with 2 coupons for 20% off of your purchase or whatever. Now mind you, I have seen her in the store using the coupons. But, she tried to roll up on the register and say she never used them! She was like "This is all I got in the mail." I was like "So why is the perforated coupons ripped off?" She was like "This is all I got!" I was like girl please I've seen you..stop with the lies and deceit.
But, on a serious note, I think I may be pregnant because I didn't have my period like I usually do on Mondays...lol.
Sunday was a hot mess because my dad was trippin'! He was asking me what the sermon was about and I surely didn't know. Oh well.
I hope you guys had as good a weekend as I did, and I'll keep posted when new things come up....
~**Love and happiness**~

Things I Feel Like Blowing Up at this Point in Time

I guess you can probably guess that base on my previous post about my creative writing class that I'm in a "Ring the Alarm" type of mood. And I am!!! The following people, places, and things, are the items that I would like to blow up!!!

1. My guidance counselor
2. My guidance counselor's office
3. Hell, my whole school
4. Both of my jobs
5. *Jesus forgive me* My church
6. My closet (so I'll have a chance to re-vamp my whole wardrobe)
7. My ex-boyfriend's closet...so he can walk around naked becuase he doesn't have a job, so that means he has no money to re-vamp his whole wardrobe
8. My ex-boyfriend's car
9. That ghetto ass House of Dereon clothing line
10. Tina and Mathew Knowles (maybe I'm hatin' cuz my parents don't support me)
11. That nucca that called me a faggot the other day
12. Beyonce's Golden Globe nomination
13. That lady at the Body Shop who told me that "I had really great skin for a black person"
14. Mya's whack ass CD
15. This paycheck I just got from my boss cuz it's whack as shit
16. My neighbor's dog...oooo if he shit in my yard one more time and I have to clean it up!!!!!
17. The part of my brain that makes me think of me and my ex's relationship every day
18. McDonald's cuz I eat there like everyday and they're making me fat!
19. Those fuckin admissions people at FIT cuz they get too damn smart
...and finally....
20. These ugly ass Christmas decorations all over my job!! it's like the Eartha Kitt/Joan Rivers Christmas Collection.

.::2 B Continued::.

Creative Writing - How Would it Feel to be Gay?

Today I was in Creative Writing and my teacher (who shall remain nameless) gave us our daily writing topic. I'm always excited about this, because she always picks a thought provoking topic that keeps us writing. But,....today.....I guess.....she snorted some lines before she came to class, because today's topic was How Would it Feel to be Gay? What kind of shit is that?
My ears started to burn and I felt the back of my neck heat up because I could feel the eyes in the back of it. Of course, snickering followed, and then straight up laughs in my face. I looked at my teacher with a stare of helplessness and anger, and she was dumbfounded because the lightbulb finally went off in her head. I wanted to say "Duh, I'm gay you dumb bitch!", but I didn't take it there. I just gathered my notepad and bookbag and headed down to the guidance counselor's office.
Now those of you who are still in high school know that guidance counselors don't do SHIT!!! They just sit around in their cushy lil offices and type reports to send to your parents. Ok, so I tell the counselor (who also shall remain nameless) about the situation and she says:
"Really, I don't see the big deal. We're actually trying to help people like you out, by making people put themselves in your shoes. We're trying to get acceptance of a lifestyle that is not generally accepted by the masses."
To say that I am pissed is the freakin understatement of the YEAR! How the fuck dare they? Well, coming out of that guidance counselor's office, I felt like I was at a dead end. If I would've started this whole petition about the paper, I would've only gotten signatures out of sympathy. If I would've called my parents, they would've tried to "rebuke my rebellious homosexual nature" out of me. If I would've prayed, I would've felt condemned. So my only option is to sit and stare at my reflection in the computer monitor, and tell the world about it (or at least anybody who's reading), and think about what the hell i'm gonna say in this fuckin essay entitled: How Would it Feel to be Gay.

This is my blog ho!

I've been getting e-mails from people saying that they love my blog, but they wish I would say more in depth things...to those who have sent me e-mails like that, I say this "This is my blog ho! I write what I want." Plus, there's really not that much in depth stuff to talk about. My daily schedule involves me getting up, getting dressed, putting on Burberry Brit cologne, kissing the mom and dapping up the dad. Driving to school, hugging and acknowledging friends and associates. Sitting in class enduring a couple hours of bullshit, getting told by teachers and counselors that I won't amount to shit if I don't go to college. Get to work, endure more bullshit. Go home, do some homework, go to SLEEP, wake up, talk to my 2 best friends, take a shower, eat, talk to my 2 best friends again, go to SLEEP again. Get up and do it all over again.

Now in that mix, I might get called a faggot, or have somebody say they don't like my outfit, or I might even cuss a few people out, but I'm sure that happens to everybody...but who knows. But you know what I DO know? I know if one more admissions person from Fashion Institute in New York gets smart with me, I am going to cuss them out Trent Jackson/Madea/Ike Turner style (sorry Tina).

That's it for me I guess. My blood pressure's rising.

Beyonce's Hair

How long is Beyonce's Hair really? I mean you always see her with long beautifully flowing locks, but how long is her hair? I really want to know. I'm sure she won't be as hot or as sexy with like 3 inches of hair.

Jennifer Hudson

So I'm on Darian's page (http://loldarian.blogspot.com) and I'm reading his blog on the lovely Jennifer Hudson and what she said about her and her relationship to her gay fan base. It really moved me because you don't really see many artists, especially those how "claim" to be Christians address us. Growing up in the church has opened my eyes to all types of homophobia, whether intentional or not. I am just glad that someone feels that they can have a relationship with God and still accept people for who they are. Two thumbs up Jennifer, Two thumbs up.

...Ok so tell me why?....

Ok so tell me why I'm walking in the hallway today and this one bastard that I can't stand, calls me a faggot in front of my friends. I was really embarrassed, because my school is so diverse, you never really hear stuff like that. One part of me wanted to get my keychain out of my bookbag and just mase the shit out of his ass, but then again, who wants to get suspended in their senior year of high school over something dumb? So, I just called him a bitch and I was on my merry way. Once again, the gay guy that never says anything to anybody when they call him names. Hmmm....but let me see him on the street!!

FANTASIA!!!

Is it just me or is Fantasia's new CD makin' me hot! I thought I fell out when Beyonce' came out but Fantasia is just killin the game right now for me.
So I'm online looking for lyrics for her new album and I came across this article about her on www.wikipedia.com the online encyclopedia and they said that she fired her American Idol staff and hired a new one! So this is where this whole new Fantasia came from. When I first heard her first single "Hood Boy", I was like "this is a little too racy for American Idol." Then, I saw the video, I was like "Oh hell no, this is WAY TOO RACY for American Idol!!."
Nonetheless, as I said before Fantasia got real grown and I'm LOVING IT!!!!!! Everybody go pick it up. It is on constant repeat on my iPod and I'm sure it will be on yours!!!!