Hey people...this is the first installment of the post that Queer Kid of Color (http://queerkidofcolor.blogspot.com) has so graciously agreed to write for my blog every other Thursday. It is called Cock & Bull: The search for the perfect Cock. It is really well written, so enjoy!
I have met plenty of good guys in the two years that I have been a part of the gay scene. Guys who enjoyed my company, guys who would say I seduced them with my personality. So what a surprise that since being a great guy I still have managed to be single. NO! DON’T GO! THIS ISNT A BITCH AND RAVE ABOUT ME BEING SINGLE. BITCH DON’T CHANGE BLOGS! Anyways, contrary to whatever I may say, I think I’m the perfect gentlemen. Even though I may be just a little stubborn when it comes to picking and choosing carefully who I like. I’ve never dated either. I just “hung out” with guys. Which leads me to this transition:
I finally thought to leave my stubborn ways, stop thinking that I’m above the guys who like me and give this one guy the opportunity to change my perceptions about the other gays I’ve encountered. To sum it all up, I thought I met the perfect cock.
I was wrong.
The perfect cock turned out to be an English gentlemen who is having a love affair with his church, an undercover straight guy who doesn’t like being gay and who thought homosexuality is a sin. I was induced by his state of mind, enticed by the words he chose to speak, captivated by how articulate he was and moved enough to mentally piece together a life of ecstasy. So why am I still running behind him? Why am I still making out with him in his car? Why do I feel affection for someone who thinks I’m a sin? No, I’m not desperate. Trust. I’m not. Patience for relationships is something I have no problem exercising. I’m running behind this perfect ten of a man because I’m afraid that perhaps he will realize some day he isn’t straight and decide to find another man. I feel like there is no one like him. When he finally finds out that he isn’t straight, I want to be the first face he sees and the first person he thinks about when it hits him that there’s nothing wrong with being same gender loving because after all its survival of the fittest and we’re all looking for the prefect cock.
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3 comments:
Oh, my poor diluted blogger brotha…
Over 10 years ago I met a wonderful guy at work who was straight – yeah, yeah, I know the drill (no pun intended)…
Long story short, we connected and dated for over 7 years (there’s a lot more to this story, but let’s just work with this) and in that time he never accepted or believed he was gay. Even more comical, he thought our countless friends that send us joint invites to parties and events were just figuring we were best friends – uh…okay…
At any rate, I moved on and moved back to NYC. Now, after the long training, coaching and love (at times) in the shadows, he accepts his sexuality and is feverishly pursuing a man who really could care less about him. Proof positive that they may come around, but YOU will never be the one reaping the benefits of your efforts. Cut your losses and run! Let him be trained and polished for the life by someone else…hey, maybe he’ll return to you when he’s ready to see you’re not a sin, but sinfully good!
boy, you need to fix my name.
There is nothing wrong and there's a lot more to gain in an age-appropriate relationship. Why can't this man find someone oof his own age to satisfy his needs? is he training YOU? ... and having trained you ... what then? How many other cars will there be ... or will you be forever chasing cars?
papi
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